CelebNewsWire» Jenna Jameson Archives – CelebNewsWire

Jenna Jameson's Slip-N-Slide Slit Made for Easy Infant Evacuation

Agent E. — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:35:00 +0000

If you could ask Jenna Jameson for advice on one subject, what would it be? How to prevent vaginal chafing? The best way to get jizz stains out of denim? The secrets to maintaining natural beauty without cosmetic surgery? Too bad. She's talking about shooting infants out of her twat. She wrote on MySpace:

I was blessed with a very easy labor, it
lasted about 2 hours. When it came to pushing them out, I truly believe the
500 sit ups a day paid off. I was able to push my 5 pound Jesse out in 5
pushes. Journey who was 4lb 11oz was out in 3 pushes

Gee, and we thought she was going to say the secret to a smooth labor was first stuffing roughly 8,000 penii into your poon to properly stretch it out. Cause we're guessing that didn't hurt matters.

Jenna Nicknames Her Pair

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 17:46:36 +0000

When we were 15, we spent our lunch period smoking joints out on the commons, doodling "Steve Vai Rocks" on our high tops, and daydreaming about an awesome future in which we'd have the tallest truck in town and kids named Winger and WASP. Jenna Jameson, bless her soul, has made our dream a reality by revealing the names of her newborn twin sons. According to Gossip Girls:

The former porn star and her UFC champ Tito Ortiz decided on Jesse Jameson and Journey Jett as monikers for their boys. The couple has been together for over three years.

We suppose that with a babydaddy whose first name is that close to "Toto", naming your kid after power ballad kings of the early 1980s is totally normal. If only they had a girl! We'll mourn for what never was, little Asia Styx.

Twin Boys for Jenna and Tito. Neato.

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 16:40:05 +0000

It's not the first time she's had two men inside of her poon chunnel and it won't be the last! Porn star Jenna Jameson had twin baby boys yesterday. Because while twins are still hot right now, having girls is sooooo December 2008. Our own personal gossip doula, FemaleFirst, says:

Jenna Jameson has given birth to twin boys.

The retired adult movie star and her mixed martial arts fighter boyfriend Tito Ortiz welcomed their sons into the world on Monday (16.03.09) at California's Newport Beach hospital.

Jenna's representative said: "The babies are in very good health. Both Jenna and Tito are delighted, they couldn't be happier."

That's sweet and we wish them all the best. However, we can't help wondering if, during the birth, Jenna found herself supine on a bed surrounded by people, legs spread as wide as anatomically possible, emitting guttural moans and occasional curses with various liquids flying all around her and thought, "Huh. Deja vu."

For the First Time, You'll Notice Jenna Jameson's Fetal Twins Before Her Boobal Ones

Agent E. — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 18:12:54 +0000

We are so relieved to see this photo. Since hearing of Jenna Jameson's pregnant state (with twins, of course, or else she would have faced Hollywood ostracization) we haven't seen much of the former pro fucker. We were worried about those little fetuses. Would they be safe in their uteral home? Or did they face adverse effects from coming into contact with the leftover jizz of pornos past? But most of all we worried that the little things would slide right out before they were fully baked. It's got to be like a Slip n' Slide down there. But it looks like their girth may have surpassed that of Jenna's stretched out snatch. They've already got a leg up in life.

Jenna Jameson Having Ti-two with Tito

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:56:05 +0000

Normally, diseases involving the genitals originate in the porn world and then slowly make their way over to the groins of Hollywood A-listers. But when the disease is getting a gut full of double fetii, the opposite is true. Yes, we knew this was going to happen: Jenna Jameson is pregnant with twins. From her MySpace blog:

Yes everyone, I can officially confirm that Tito and I are expecting twins! I had my second ultrasound today and was greeted by two big healthy babies with pounding hearts. I can't even express the extreme serenity that came over me once I saw my children inside me. It has been my dream to have children for an exremely long time, and I truly feel like finally… the time is right and god has blessed me. I have never felt more like a woman, or more alive.

Tito is happier than I have ever seen him, it is so fulfilling to see him so proud. He looked me in the eye today after our doctors appointmet and said "I'm the luckiest man on earth… thank you for having my babies". I cried.

i have been spending my days on bedrest, not because it is doctor ordered… but because, I am so incredibly fatigued and nauseous. Its hard to drag myself out of bed some mornings, which is hard for me… since I am always so active! I have officially gained 7 pounds so far, and am planning on a lot more. I crave fruit by the gallon… ornages and pineapple are at the top of my list. Cereal at 3 am suits me every night!

Lastly, I want to thank all of you for your unwavering support. It means so much to me, I don't think you even know. There are a lot of nasty comments from insensitive people, but in my state of incredible happiness… It doesnt matter what they say!

I love all of you!

Even her pregnancy announcement is erotic. "Inside me". "Never felt more like a woman". If you didn't know she was writing about double babies, you might think she was writing about double penetration.

And yes, there's more sexy and naked Jenna at MrSkin.com.

Aubrey O'Day Licks Pole, Talks Anal Sex

Agent E. — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 17:21:20 +0000

In our minds, Danity Kane is one giant step below The Pussycat Dolls. And The Pussycat Dolls are one giant step below the tranny contestant on America's Next Top Model. What's one giant step below Danity Kane? Don't know. Maybe She-Daisy? Paris Hilton's dog walker? Anyway, Danity Kane is pretty low on our celebrity list. But still when one of them starts talking about masturbating to anal sex videos, we guess that's worth paying attention to. Especially when there are accompanying pics of her licking a stripper pole. So if you like marginally famous people talking about porn and doing it in the butt, here's an excerpt from Aubrey O'Day's recent interview with Complex:

So when people hear youíre best friends with Jenna Jameson, they thinkó
Aubrey OíDay: óIím going to do sex tapes and porn. Jenna and I never even talk about porn. I think one time Jenna and I had a conversation about having sex on your period.

You seem to like to talk about sex.
Aubrey OíDay: I love porn.

You love watching it?
Aubrey OíDay: Totally. I watch YouPorn.

Do you have a favorite star?
Aubrey OíDay: Jenna Jameson, obviously.

Is it weird watching your BFF?
Aubrey OíDay: I watched her before she was my BFF, I donít watch her anymore. I was actually masturbating one night to, like, Anal Sex Compilation #3 or whatever, and she was in it and I was like, ìOh no!î I had to turn it off. It was horrible. [Ed.óJenna famously only lets men in the front door, so weíre guessing Aubreyís a little confused about the title. Up and Cummers #11, maybe?]

Guys are always curious about girls and porn.
Aubrey OíDay: I usually watch black guys doing white girls, thatís my little fetish, even though in real life race isnít a factor for me. Really, Iím more turned on by watching the girls than the guys. I love someone who looks like theyíre really into sex.

All this porn talk raises the question: Would you ever be in one?
Aubrey OíDay: I wouldnít. Iíd like to keep my sex life personal. Iíve had sex on camera with my boyfriend for fun, though.

Damn, you know those things can leak, right?
Aubrey OíDay: Iíve made all of them delete it right after we watched it.

Thatís what you think.
Aubrey OíDay: No, Iíve watched them delete it. But let me tell you the key to that. If you do a live feed through the TV, you can watch it on the TV while youíre doing it and it never records.

So there you have it, straight from the mouth of that one chick from that band that Diddy made. Live feeds. It's like making a sex tape, but without all of the Paris Hilton-style fame and Vivid Video payoffs.

Find a ton more pics and the full interview at Complex.

Jenna Jameson Prefers Boobs Over Puppies and Kittens

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 18:35:28 +0000

Whoa, PETA really knows how to get a message across. Finally! Finally, we get to see Jenna Jameson naked! You know, we were planning on keeping our gerbil's nuts intact but after seeing one sixth of a porn star's right breast we're totally changing our minds. Thanks, PETA!

See a ton more of naked Jenna Jameson at MrSkin.com.

Jenna Jameson Has Something New Stuck in Her Woman Parts

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 18:45:28 +0000

It's the pitter patter of tiny feet for Jenna Jameson! As opposed to sounds she's a little more used to hearing. Like the pitter patter of millions of droplets of dude juice raining onto her bod. Reports the NY Post:

Congrats to Jenna Jameson. The retired porn queen is pregnant with the baby of her boyfriend, UFC champ Tito Ortiz. "She had a bunch of meetings and things planned for Fashion Week, including meetings for her own line, but she's postponed everything," said our source. "She's completely thrilled, this is something she's wanted for a very long time." Jameson miscarried during her marriage to Jay Grdina, whom she divorced in 2006. She also once failed with in vitro. Jameson's assistant didn't return calls and Ortiz's rep had no comment.

Man. It's a good thing that Jenna's vagina has had a lot of practice with large items passing through it, because that baby has a 50/50 chance of inheriting Tito's elephantine skull. Look at that thing! God love ya, Jenna. That's gonna be like pushing an earth ball through a garden hose.

Jenna Jameson naked! At MrSkin.com.

Jenna Jameson Goes from Looking Like the Undead to Costarring with Them

Agent E. — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:35:42 +0000

Zombies! Strippers! Jenna Jameson! Freddy Krueger! We hate to say this, but Zombie Strippers looks kind of good. Or at least more entertaining than anything Lindsay Lohan has been associated with in the past two years. We're not sure whether or not Jenna plays a zombie stripper or just simply a stripper, but we're banking on the former, what with her extensive flesh gobbling experience. You can catch the trailer and judge for yourself at /film.

Get a bit of Jenna's famous flesh at MrSkin.com.

Jenna Jameson Fingers Charlize . . . As Her Sex Heir

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:55:12 +0000

In addition to keeping herself busy with various and sundry plastical surgery procedures, Jenna Jameson has been enjoying her run as a spokesperson for PETA. So much that she's conceiving ideas for other possible advertisements and PSAs. Jenna says,

"It would be amazing if Charlize Theron did one of our 'Go naked' campaigns. I saw her just the other day and she just blew me away. Charlize is so sexy – I would totally love for her to go naked. I'd die for that. Bettie Page was the ultimate sex icon. Then next came Marilyn Monroe, then Pamela Anderson, then me. Now I'm on the lookout for the next woman to pass my title onto. Charlize would be perfect."

Ah, yes. The storied Passing of the Sex Icon Torch ceremony. Only it's not much of a literal torch. It's more of a flaming dildo. Flaming with the clap. Ow, that burns!

Porn queen Jenna gets loose and nude at MrSkin.com.

Charlize is naked too.