CelebNewsWire» Janice Dickinson Archives – CelebNewsWire

The World's First Supermodel Taken Down By World's First Supermargarita

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 15 May 2009 17:01:21 +0000

Sexy, funny, Ocasek-banging, totally fierce MILF Paulina Porizkova has taken to the streets to tell everyone how she was fired from America's Next Top Model due to Tyra Banks being a seven-headed hydra who is so hungry for power she eats only Power Bars and, like, electricity and stuff. Hopefully someone will give Paulina another job soon, because ANTM castoffs tend not to do so hot. Case in point: lovable, rubber-faced shrew Janice Dickinson, who had a little too much sake at Nobu last night and ended up attacking a group of jeering paparazzi in a slurring, T. Rex-like rage. To her credit, the dudes were acting like obnoxious 3rd grade boys torturing a retarded kitten. But to her detriment, a pashmina doesn't really make the best weapon. Unless you're trying to blindside your opponent with warm shoulders swathed in a rich silk blend.

Janice Dickinson Is an Angel from Heaven

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 17:28:54 +0000

It's so exciting and wonderful to live in a time when we have these incredible medical advances like plastic surgery to keep people looking fresh and beautiful. People like Janice Dickinson, pictured here with some fresh work. And wow, that is some money well spent. Look how gorgeous. Somebody give Janice Dickinson's doctor a trophy because he is truly a Michelangelo with a scalpel. She looks like a fairy tale princess, or a beauty pageant winner, or a really sexy grouper.

Juicy Janice shows it off at MrSkin.com.

"I'll Eat Her Tits."

Agent E. — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 17:40:14 +0000

We're not the type to watch those shows on VH1 where eight supposed "celebrities" who couldn't get work in a Billy Mays infomercial live in a house together and bitch about toilet paper and dirty dishes and whatnot. But somehow when we read about similar shows in England they sound fascinating. After all, they involve people like Jordan, who is infinitely more interesting than Corey Feldman. And sometimes they involve Janice Dickinson threatening to eat people. According to The Mirror:

Janice Dickinson cracked up on the first night in the jungle and threatened to cook and eat Lynne Franks's boobs.

The blood-curdling vow was heard by a shocked J Brown after he made an everyday comment about beds.

He said: "We've got bed envy. Look at your two beds. They are really dry and comfortable."

Janice said about Lynne: "I'm going to stab her in the middle of the night and take hers. You think I'm kidding? I'll eat her tits. I'll fry up those big old boobs."

And we thought Janice ate nothing but celery sticks and kittens' brains. A girl's gotta watch her figure!

CNW Junk Drawer: Burp Rags

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 22 May 2007 17:36:44 +0000

ï Rachel McAdams pulls a BeyoncÈ; might just be 63. (IMDb/WENN)

ï Janice Dickinson's high contrast upskirt gristle mitt. Believe it. (Taxi Driver)

ï Scary Spice spent several hundred dollars on rags to belch upon. Stars, just like us, etc. (MSNBC)

ï Pam Anderson in a bikini, careening willy-nilly towards Mamie Van Doren territory. (Derek Hail)

ï Britney wears bikini, old man fedora. Your penis won't know whether to pop a boner or do the Lindy Hop while sucking down a Tom Collins. We suggest both! (Hollywood Tuna)

ï Play volleyball with Eva Longoria's butt! No, wait, we mean Eva Longoria's butt plays volleyball. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

ï Oprah's dad is writing a tell-all about her, and she sadly states, ìThe last person in the world to be doing a book about me is Vernon Winfrey. The last person.î That's weird. The last person we'd expect to be doing a book about Oprah Winfrey is Jesse Camp. Or maybe Bruce Boxleitner. Or Lionel Bart. Because not only was he a composer, not a writer, he is dead. (Yeeeah!)

Scarlett, Rose, Nicky, and Janice Put in Qualifying Bids for the Flash-a-Lympics

Agent E. — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:59:51 +0000

Did someone declare today official poons 'n' pontoons day and forget to tell us? Because in our morning search for our Sexy Lady Story, we were barraged with upskirts, side boobs, see-throughs, anything that's hot but doesn't constitute actual nudity. It's as if all of Hollywood saw Lindsay Lohan's brave reveal of hose-clad clam and partial yam in one day and said, "Damn bitch, I can top that. Get a load of this!" After the cut, get a gander at the ladies' best efforts.

The helpful gents over at Egotasitc! bring us blurry pics and brief video of Scarlett Johansson flashing the sides of both of her Jomamssons, and there might even be some nipple in there, you know, if you're really desperate and haven't seen a boob that wasn't attached to a Cabbage Patch Kid in the last decade. So start your squinting! If your priest was telling the truth, you probably already went blind quite a few years ago anyway.

Rose McGowan, knowing that her recent revelation that her saggy eye was due to a horrible car accident would make people focus on the deformity, did what any sensible girl who's embarrassed by her disfigurement would do: forgets her bra! See straight through Rose's shirt at Hollywood Tuna.

We thought Nicky Hilton would be afflicted with the scourge of suburbia, the pancake ass, but we were happy to discover that we were mistaken.

What roundness! What separation! Way to go, Nicky! For once it's a good thing to be the biggest ass in the Hilton clan. For more Nicky visit Drunken Stepfather, or head over to Seriously? OMG! WTF? for the front view.

And to round out our morning, we've got a bunch of photos of Janice Dickinson showing off her underthings, as if to say, "My rubyfruit may not be as juicy as it was eighty years ago, but a little embalming fluid sure does go a long way in preserving your most precious organs."

Yeeeah! has more of Janice's panty flashing, and since she wasn't done showing off those undies that day, you can find even more at A Socialite's Life. AND this just in: Girl just can't keep that kitty covered!

Rose McGowan is the only one of the above ladies who's naked at MrSkin.com. But don't fret; she's naked a lot.

Janice Dickinson and Ashley Olsen Share Bras. Share Them with Us, That Is

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 17:59:04 +0000

One is an towering aging supermodel, the other is a post-tween mogul dwarf. One has a mouth the size of Kankakee, the other is, we think, mute. One of them got clam-slammed by Sylvester Stallone, the other once found herself on the business end of various sundry nonfamous rich guys. Truly, at first glance, Janice Dickinson and Ashley Olsen have very little in common. Little in common, that is, until you strip them of their famous people finery and realize that they enjoy showing people their undies. United by bra-brandishing.

Ashley's undergarment gaffe occurred while she was wandering around in shades, tottering under the weight of her venti–which, as far as we know, is her 9 to 5 job. Janice's bra-bustout happened while she was filming some English reality show. Which is, we suppose, also Janice's 9 to 5 job. Please note how the choice of foundation garment–modest white for A-Ols, sheer black for J-Dick–reflects their true selves. J-dick. J-dick. Jan-dick. Jandek? Scary!

See more of Janice and her brassiere at Faded Youth.

And Ashley's biz? Check out more at Hollywood Tuna.

Spy Janice's nether drawers at MrSkin.com.

CNW Junk Drawer: Supermodels Having Sex. Or Not.

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 17 May 2006 17:24:41 +0000

ï FemaleFirst reports that Nicole Kidman used "the F-word". Oh, but they meant "fiancÈ!" Awwwww, ha ha ha ha, that was so clever! You really had us going there, FemaleFirst!

ï Debra Wilson from Mad TV shows off her comedic chops. And by "comedic chops" we mean "tits".

ï Barbra Streisand gets on the guest list at your local Loews.

ï Carmen Electra hates herself for lovin' Joan Jett. Can't break free from the things that she . . . doan . . . dett? Eh, we suck.

ï Janice Dickinson: genius of our time.

ï Elle MacPherson loves to have loads and loads of casual sex. Just not with you. You fat loser.

ï Light-filled goddess from heaven Mandy Moore denies cherry-poppage at the hands and wang of Fez. Wouldn't you?

ï Is J. Lo preg. o?

ï Speaking of cherries, The Virgin Adriana Lima is a punchy little firecracker. We got a little something that would chill her right out. Yeeeeah, that's right. A little somethin' in our pants, if you dig what we're saying. It's a packet of chamomile tea and a fizzy bath bomb in our pocket. They're great for de-stressing!

So What Would She Do for Three Klonopin?

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 17 Oct 2005 17:16:38 +0000

What can one Xanax buy you these days? It can get you half a Vicodin and two Advil. It can get you $3.75. It can get you two day-old slices of sausage pizza and a copy of that Jonathan Safran Foer book. And it can get you a hot screw in an airplane bathroom with Janice Dickinson, the world's first supermodel!

PageSix.com reports that while recently on a cross-country flight, the erstwhile America's Next Top Model judge and full-time cuckoo person asked someone seated near her how many cold pills she should take to knock her out. Another passenger overheard, and offered her a Xanax. The irrepressible little scamp Janice responded, "I'll [bleep] you in the bathroom for a Xanax!" The guy politely declined, which is all for the best, we suppose. When you get all that Botoxed silicone and Restylane in such close proximity to jet fuel and airline toilet fumes, nothing good can possibly occur.

Look at Janice at MrSkin.com. They won't even ask you for a Xanax.