CelebNewsWire» Jamie Lynn Spears Archives – CelebNewsWire

Jamie Lynn Spears Is Happy with the One, Thanks

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:44:15 +0000

Remember how yesterday we reported that Jamie Lynn Spears was most likely pregnant with unwed teen baby number two? Well, she's not. Or so says her rep. Official Spears family chronicler OK! mag reports:

Now comes a wild report that the 17-year-old is pregnant again! Well, if that's true, it's certainly news to Jamie Lynn ñ her rep confirms exclusively to OK! that those rumors are false.

"She is not pregnant," her rep rells OK!.

When OK! spoke to Britney Spears' little sister for our exclusive cover story, we asked if she and Casey were planning to expand their brood anytime soon.

"You're way ahead of yourself on that one!" said the former Zoey 101 star, who has her hands full as it is with nearly 4-month-old Maddie. "We are really happy with where we are right now," explains Jamie Lynn about her relationship with Casey. "There is no rush for anything."

Great! So we can go ahead and cancel our gift order of that "I sat on this tractor and all I got were these lousy Irish twins" shirt.

"Britney Has Two Babies! I Want Two! I Want 'Em, I Want 'Em, I Want 'Em!"

Agent E. — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 17:50:24 +0000

When you're country, there are a few things that are super super addicting and you cannot escape them no matter how hard you try. Bacon double cheeseburgers dipped in ranch dressing, meth, and birthin' babies. Once you've had a taste of newborn hair ticking the inside of your vagina, you just crave it. Can't get enough of it. Or maybe it's the demerol. We're not sure. Either way, the littlest Spears, teen momma Jamie Lynn, is reportedly knocked up again. Add another barrel to that shotgun, Momma Spears, and git the young'n to the altar! The rumor comes from The National Enquirer, who actually has a good track record lately with telling the truth:

In a blockbuster world exclusive, The ENQUIRER has learned that the 17-year-old Zoey 101 starlet is now expecting for the second time ñ a mere three months after giving birth on June 19 to baby Maddie Briann.

Jamieís desperate to keep the shock ing news secret and some people close to her are urging Jamie Lynn to consider ending the pregnancy, sources say.

ìJamie Lynn is about eight weeks pregnant, and she and her mom Lynne are hysterical,î revealed a close source. ìNeither of them knows what to do, but for now theyíre trying to keep the news from getting out.î

Too late.

The unplanned pregnancy came as a shock to Jamie Lynn, whoíd been breast-feeding her infant daughter Maddie Briann, insiders say.

ìJamie Lynn believed she couldnít get pregnant while she was breast-feeding,î said the close source. ìSheíd expected to have her period by early September.î A home pregnancy test came back positive and Jamie Lynn cried her eyes out, said the source.

Her mother Lynne was livid when she found out, divulged an insider.

Meanwhile, insiders say that those close to Jamie Lynn are urging her to abort!

ìTheyíve reminded Jamie Lynn how much trouble she had adjusting to motherhood with Maddie, and pointed out that having a second baby now would only be a recipe for disaster,î said the close source.

For the full shocking story and to discover WHO the new babyís father is ñ pick up the latest National Enquirer.

Hey, Jamie Lynn, here are a few pointers: You can also get pregnant if you do it standing up, if you do it in the pool, if you do it doggie style, if you do jumping jacks afterward, if you do it while listening to an N*Sync record, and, yes, even if you drink a Pepsi while Casey comes. Oh, and Coke and RC won't work either. Yep, all of those can potentially put a baby in your underage belly. To further help you to understand your reproductive health, expect a package to arrive shortly containing your very own Planned Parenthood patient I.D. number and some helpful literature, courtesy of your friends at CelebNewsWire. It's just how we show that we care.

Jamie Lynn Spears Not Yet a Woman To the LawóEven with Her Hooter Hanging Out

Agent E. — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:49:17 +0000

Apparently someone out there wants to see teen pregnancy trend spawner Jamie Lynn Spears with a baby sucking on her tit. But if this accurately describes you (which, by the way, congratulations, you're a real catch), beware: If someone in a blue polyester vest approaches you on the street, and whispers, "Hey mister, wanna buy a picture of Britney's little sister's booby?" it's probably a good idea to keep on walking. TMZ explains that a nefarious Wal-Mart employee is trying to hock some stolen Spears pics, one of which could be considered child porn. (Please don't ask us how someone who has just passed a human being through her vagina could be the victim of child porn. It boggles the mind.) Sayeth the juggernaut that Harvey built:

A stolen picture of Jamie Lynn Spears breast feeding her baby has sparked a federal pornography investigation.
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ federal and local authorities are on the hunt for someone peddling 12 pics of Britney Spears, Jamie Lynn, daughter Maddie and baby daddy Casey Aldridge. One of the pictures shows Jamie Lynn breast feeding Maddie — Jamie Lynn's left breast is exposed.

The pics were taken on Casey's digital camera. We're told he took the camera card to his local Wal-Mart in Louisiana for copies. Law enforcement believes someone at the Wal-Mart may have made extra copies, then tried selling them.

Because Jamie Lynn is a minor, selling the pics — or buying them — could constitute a violation of federal laws prohibiting pornography. Peddling pictures of a minor's breast — even if not taken for sexual purposes — could land the seller and the buyer in federal prison if they are marketed across state lines for the purpose of being lurid. Also, anyone purchasing the pics could be prosecuted for the crime of receiving stolen property.

Other pics in the set include Britney holding the baby and one of Jamie Lynn, Britney, Brian (Brit's bro), Lynne Spears and Jamie Spears around Jamie Lynn's hospital bed. There are also pics of Maddie by herself, and there's a picture of Jamie Lynn in a negligee holding the baby.

Authorities are trying to find the man who is attempting to sell the photos. In addition, we're told Britney's lawyers are thinking about going after Wal-Mart for the alleged security breach.

We sort of feel bad for Jamie Lynn here. But not because of the whole exposed titty thing; that was bound to happen eventually, being a Spears. We feel bad for her because the one thing she really loved in this life, the one thing she could always trust has let her down. What will JL do now that her mecca, her heaven, her happy place has proven imperfection? Cause we don't think they have them high-class Tar-jay stores in Lewsiana.

CNW Junk Drawer: The Fox and the Hound Camel

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 17:39:49 +0000

ï Megan Fox straps her camel toe into some stretch pants for a shopping excursion. (Faded Youth)

ï And speaking of Megan Fox, her former(?) fiance Brian Austin Green denies the breakup rumors, says the couple are "solid". Solid as a rock? So nothing's changed it? And what you're saying is that the feeling's still hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hot? (PopCrunch)

ï The first look at Jamie Lynn Spears's little baby, Maddie Briann. Maddie's next OK! cover: in thirteen years, when she marries cousin Sean Preston in a romantic toothless ceremony in Louisiana. (Dlisted)

ï David Lee Roth choked on some nuts. (TMZ)

ï Dane Cook is a shitty neighbor, literally. (Celebitchy)

ï Robert Rodriguez traded his wife in for Rose McGowan, and is now trading Rose McGowan for Kat Dennings. Next up: he trades Kat Dennings for Abigail Breslin. (Defamer)

ï Jennifer Lopez in a bikini. Post-twins, her abs are still flatter than yours, and her ass is still bigger than the sun. (Flisted)

ï Lilo and SamRo ride the pink caterpillar at Disneyland. Ohhhh yeaaaaah. (Holy Taco)

ï See Jaime Pressly in a bikini and you'll be nothin' but a horn dog. Eh? Yes? No? Bah. (IDLYITW)

ï New Paris Hilton TV show in the works. And no, sadly, it's not a Fear Factor type show involving a rocket sending her to the surface of the moon to see how long she can hold her breath. (Hollywire)

Break Out the Moonshine and Celebrate the Birth of Another Baby Spears

Agent E. — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 17:55:38 +0000

Another Spears littl'un has arrived y'all! Well, maybe. All the buzz this morning was that Jamie Lynn was set to give birth through her tummy hole today, but we're pretty sure people are just making this shit up now. Especially since the supposed confirmation came from The National Enquirer. Sure, they may have been right about Patrick Swayze, but if all of the sudden we live in a world where The Enquirer can be trusted for actual facts, we may as well find out for ourselves what Wino finds so intriguing about crack, because the world will never be the same. And as for the name, nobody knows an f'ing thing, really. First we heard that JL and her offroadin' paramour were going to combine their names to come up with something super cool and classy and unique. Like Cailynn. But since that isn't quite country enough, JL may also be considering Emma Jean (according to her "friend", whom we're betting goes by the name Lynne). But People claims the future OK! cover model is being called Maddie Briann. Seriously, we don't really care right now. These names are all boring, and we don't yet believe any of them (remember Preston Michael Spears and Sutton Pierce Federline?). And since we think that these names all materialized in the brainpans of disgruntled gossip writers, we'll jump on that train too. We just happened to have spent our vacation in Kentwood last week, and as we were searching the aisles at Wal-Mart for Little Hugs, we ran into Jamie Lynn and she threw out some possibilities for us. At the top of the list were Jessie Us (for our Lord and Savior) and Pumkin Pie ('cause it's tasty). She also lamented that she wasn't having a boy because she was really hoping to name him Wally Mark in honor of her favorite place.

CNW Junk Drawer: An Emmy's Just Like a Razzie, Right?

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:31:44 +0000

ï Lindsay Lohan has pulled a Heigl and withdrawn her name from the Emmy race. To which the Emmy panel said, "OK. Sounds good. Who's Lindsay Lohan?" (Celebitchy)

ï Mickey Rourke takes his new face out to ogle some gay stripper's grape-smugglers. (Yeeeah!)

ï Keanu Reeves is seeing China Chow. You're also seeing China Chow. Seeing her topless, that is. In related news, China Chow is not kibble for Chinese people that comes in a 15 lb bag. Who knew? (Taxi Driver)

ï Jennifer Lopez and Unfrozen Caveman Husband take their spawn out for some fresh air. (Faded Youth)

ï Forget danceoffs; Mel B is getting her revenge on Eddie Murphy with an album called Beverly Hills Cock. That sounds nice. (Daily Stab)

ï The many toups of Jeremy Piven. (Cityrag)

ï Nicole Richie gets her Mrs. Roper on. (Seriously OMG WTF?!)

ï Gisele Bundchen speaks highly of beau Tom Brady; says he "doesn't have a bad bone in his body." That's right, because his bad bone is in YOUR body. Swish! (CelebWarship)

ï Boil some water and get some clean sheets–Britney's on her way to Lousiana to be there for Jamie-Lynn's birthin'! Wait a minute, we're talking about Spearses. Boil some Diet Mountain Dew and get some dirty sheets! (The Hollywood Gossip)

ï Puffy Dangle Doobie Diddle waxes his nutbag. It is imperative that we know this. (The Blemish)

ï Kate Moss dons a tasteful, maternal see-through dress to take her daughter for a stroll. (Flisted)

ï Anne Hathaway is all, "there once was a man from Nantucket." (WENN)

Thanks Solange, But What Advice Does Juno Have for Jamie Lynn?

Agent E. — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:43:45 +0000

Jamie Lynn Spears has a dearth of responsible role models. Her millionaire sister lost custody of her kids to a jobless wigger, and her mom is the classic stage mother, which probably directly contributed to the former. So we suggest that Jamie Lynn take the advice of Solange Knowles. Seriously. There is probably not one other person on the planet who knows exactly what it's like to be the overlooked kid sister of a singing superstar and get knocked up in your teens. So listen up, little chickadee, cause Solange is laying it on ya, via Us Weekly:

Solange Knowles knows the challenge of being a famous teen mother.

Knowles, now 21, welcomed son Daniel in 2004 at the age of 18 (she split with husband, former college football player Daniel Smith, after the baby was born).

"I'm sure a lot of people perceived that I was gonna be a young, irresponsible mom," Knowles told Usmagazine.com during a recent visit.

But Knowles pointed out, "I think that there are some moms who are 35 who are just as irresponsible."

What advice does she have for the 17-year-old mom-to-be Jamie Lynn Spears?

"You just have to make the best decisions for you," Knowles said. "You have to decide what's best for you.

"Who are we to say what's right and wrong for a person?"

To focus on raising her son, Knowles said she "moved to the country for a year" without any nannies or babysitters.

"My parents lived on a whole opposite part of the world," she said. "My son has been my focus ever since the day he was born."

"He's been the light of my life," she added, "the inspiration behind everything."

Good parenting, not letting grammy tell the kid what to do, focusing on the child, yada yada yada. But Us Weekly is refusing to report Solange's most sage piece of advice to young'un Spears: "Whatever you do, don't bleach your baby. They'll never let you live it down."

Git Off Ma Propty! I Said Git, You!

Agent E. — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 17:50:45 +0000

Remember when Britney Spears let SPF drive her car, and she said it was alright because she was country? Well, younger siblings always try harder, so Jamie Lynn seems to be on a mission to prove that she’s so much more country than her city-slickin’ Hollywood sissy. Of course there’s the knocked-up-at-sixteen thing, but that’s not necessarily country; we see sixteen-year-olds on the train every morning feeding Cheetos to their three kids. But riding around in an ATV packing heat to chase off intruders is pretty damn country. TMZ reports:

Jamie Lynn Spears is packin’ baby, but her man is packin’ too, and he’s pointing his piece at a photog!

Casey Aldridge was pissed at a pap who allegedly shot this video on private property — Jamie says it was private, the pap says it wasn’t. Anywho, watch closely as Casey takes the gun from his lap and kinda points it in the direction of the pap, telling him to get the hell on a public road. Yessir!

And there’s video! Video that proves that you never really have a feel for a public figure (we refuse to use the word “celebrity” when we’re talking about the dude who sperminated Brit’s little sis) until you hear them speak. It’s just like the first time we heard Paris Hilton speak, only with fewer giggles and more “Git!”s. We almost expect to hear a banjo in the background.

Jamie Lynn Spears Celebrates Birthday by Rolling Back Prices

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 17:34:15 +0000

Celebrity sibling Jamie Lynn Spears turned seventeen years old on Friday. And she celebrated the way most seventeen-year-old girls in rural America do: by grabbing her babydaddy and enjoying an Alpine Swiss burger at Ruby Tuesday's and then hauling her pregnant ass to Wal-Mart! This hard-hitting public interest report just in from People:

Jamie Lynn Spears celebrated her 17th birthday with fiancÈ Casey Aldridge having dinner at Ruby Tuesday and shopping at Wal-Mart, a source says.

"They both seemed really happy, both in really good moods," the source tells PEOPLE of the couple's outing near Aldridge's home in Liberty, Miss. "Jamie Lynn had a big smile on her face."

Spears, who is pregnant with Aldridge's child, took in a quiet dinner with Aldridge, 18, at the restaurant. "It was just the two of them," says the source. "They were like a little adult couple, very low-key."

They then went to Wal-Mart, where Spears looked at sleeping bags.

"Because," Jamie Lynn explained, "I been taking parenting lessons from my big sister Britney. She says that when the youngins get to squallin', just put 'em in a bag and they go to sleep for a real long time."

CNW Junk Drawer: Pamela and Camela (Toe)

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:12:53 +0000

ï Pam Anderson's marriage to Rick Salomon has been annulled. In the eyes of the law, that means it never happened. Let us never speak of this again. (Hollywire)

ï MrSkin.com scores the first ever interview with Christian Landers, the dude behind the high-larious StuffWhitePeopleLike.com! (Mr. Skin)

ï Madonna claims that her marriage is ripe with "erotica". Excellent way to work your song title in there, Madge. Was your wedding La Isla Bonita? (Female Foist)

ï Kate Moss sans the clammy, crackulous influence of Pete Doherty = foxy. (Cityrag)

ï Awwww. Carmen Electra has found herself another funny little eyeliner-wearing alternarocker to love. (Daily Stab)

ï Sophie Monk's religious last name belies the deep cleave of her camel toe. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Renee Zellweger attended a screening of Leatherheads donning a leathered face. Sorry, Renee. You seem like a nice lady, you just make it so easy. (Allie Is Wired)

ï Sorry, boys! Looks like that hot slice of preggo jailbait Jamie Lynn Spears is off the market! (The Blemish)

ï I'm a Pepper, you're a Pepper, he's a Pepper, Axl Rose is a Pepper. (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)