Tag Archives: Jake Gyllenhaal
Toothy Tile To Reproduce?
We're pretty certain that this story is about as truthful as Green Eggs and Ham, but it's still pretty damned amusing. Because while we don't doubt Jake Gyllenhaal's desire for dong, we do doubt that he'd be willing to face the career consequences of having a baby with his gay lover. Currently that's only acceptable [...]
Gyllenhaal Debeards Again
Hey, did you remember that Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal were supposedly porking? We didn't. They're kind of like the relationship equivalent of Julia Roberts's belly full o' fetus and a Cinderella song all wrapped in one: we didn't know what we had until it was gone. Reports Us Weekly:
Though sources say the duo, who [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: She Wants to Be The Girl with the Least Cake
ï Courtney Love, in a bikini, weighing less than her 12-year-old daughter. That's what making out with Bruce Willis will do to a body. It happened to Lohan, now it's happening again.
ï Uma Thurman's one-piece strains against the weight of her Nordic kahooblies.
ï Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson's illicit extramarital blonde people [...]
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Also tagged Bruce Willis, celebrity hookups, celebs in bikinis, Courtney Love, Goldie Hawn, Josh Hartnett, Josh Henderson, Kate Hudson, Owen Wilson, P. Diddy, Paris Hilton, Penelope Cruz, Reese Witherspoon, Rose McGowan, television, Uma Thurman
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Kirsten's Kinky Sex Not Good Enough for Jake
Do you wanna hear Kirsten Dunst talk about sex? In public? With Jake Gyllenhaal? Of course you do. Because you have a much stronger stomach than we do and the thought of happening upon a gay cowboy giving it to Kirsten in a public restroom and periodically reaching down around her knees to fondle her [...]
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Also tagged celebrity arrests, celebrity bathroom habits, celebrity hookups, Kirsten Dunst
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The Porthaal to Love
After being seen together in New York over the weekend looking very couple like, the rumors are flying that Natalie Portman and Jake Gyllenhaal were, like, holding hands and smooching and soooo close to really making babies, I mean seriously, they are so going to prom together.
CNW Junk Drawer: Trephining with Keef
ï Jake Gyllenhaal has a new beard! And a new girlfriend. So that's . . . two . . . beards. Yeah.
ï Ashlee Simpson and her freshly minted honker show some Ash-crack.
ï And Jessica Simpson nearly put her dog through the scanner at an airport security checkpoint. In related news, she's still [...]
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Also tagged ailing celebs, Ashlee Simpson, celebrity hookups, celebrity nudity, Jessica Simpson, Keith Richards, Kiefer Sutherland, Lindsay Lohan
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Drunkback Mountain
In a desperate attempt to show the world that he really loves chowing down on pussy, Jake Gyllenhaal proves that he's never even seen one of those icky things.
God, Jake, even Lindsay knows that one.
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CNW Junk Drawer: "Scarlett Is a Cunt"
ï Macauley Culkin and That '70s Show's Mila Kunis have been shopping for engagement rings and getting ready to create the dirtiest sounding hyphenated surname ever: Kunis-Culkin. Penis-Cockin'? Pubis-Caulking?
ï Kim Raver: nice boob. We mean, shirt.
ï PopBitch sez: "<http://www.malestars.com/RS/rsid-704792/marker-InArticle/" target=" blank">Jake Gyllenhaal was in London last week to promote Jarhead. He was [...]
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Also tagged celeb engagements/weddings, celebrity hookups, celebrity nudity, Chelsea Clinton, Cindy Crawford, Jenna Jameson, Kim Raver, Kylie Minogue, Lindsay Lohan, Macauley Culkin, paparazzi, Scarlett Johansson
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Kirsten Drunkst
We love a good drunk celebrity. They bring joy into our life and reassure us that we are not the only one ending every Friday night in a pool of our own vomit on the bathroom floor. But frankly weíre a little tired of always talking about Tara Reid. The poor girl has been through [...]