CelebNewsWire» Jada Pinkett Smith Archives – CelebNewsWire

CNW Junk Drawer: Two in the Pinkett, One in the Stinkett

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 17:55:52 +0000

Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith claim that they porked in the car on the way to the Oscars. Billy Bob/Angelina Jolie wannabes, all. (The Blemish)
Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson lesbian parody porno. 1 Night in Lilo? (Drunken Stepfather)
Crank THAT, Soulja Boy. Is that a Mr. Microphone in his drawers? Faker. (Yeeeah!)
The actual video of Michael Jackson’s hair catching on fire in 1984. Dude just keeps dancing! (Daily Stab)
Annnnnnd here are some horrifying photos of MJ’s legs in 2002 with some sort of seeping wound. They say it’s from drug use, we think it looks like a bite from a brown recluse spider. Which is funny because MJ was a white recluse. Haw! (Celebitchy)
Stop! Emmy time! Here’s the full list of nominees. (PopCrunch)
Amy Winehouse is divorced! Farewell, Blake Fielder-Civil. Go hang out with Riley Giles, Stamos Nachos and Paris Latsis. (Allie Is Wired)
Renee Zellweger set to hit the Ho-Hos for a third Bridget Jones movie. (Anything Hollywood)

CNW Junk Drawer: "I Know How to Learn Anything I Want to Learn."

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 17:15:01 +0000

ï Kirsten Dunst's teatlets meet a lace-paneled dress, peekaboo nippage ensues. The pictures are old, but so are you, geezer.

ï John Mayer and Jessica Simpson are together again, naturally. Even though they say they weren't together in the first place. But they are now. Probably. Eh.

ï Well, we had the dubious honor of viewing the Screech sex tape yesterday. What can we say about it? He refers to himself in the third person, as "the D Man", he is more interested in the various edibles the ladies have around their hotel room than their vaginas, and the first 15 minutes consist of Dustin and his lady in a bubble bath, discussing the finer points of 24. Fleshbot has their own review. And screencaps.

ï Agent Scully had a baby! And despite her insistence that the child was sired by boyfriend Clyde Klotz, her ex-husband Julian Ozanne is demanding a paternity test. So we can find out it's half-alien. And then Mulder will watch porn and there will be sexual tension, etc.

ï Australian Holly Valance's nipple boomerangs out of her swimsuit. Crikey!

ï Keira Knightley is engaged to her actor arm candy Rupert Friend. Can you imagine calling up your parents and saying, "Mom, Dad, I am going to be Mrs. Rupert Friend"? And then your parents would howl with laughter and say, "Sure, and I'm about to marry Nigel Sparkleshowers! Ahahahaha! His best man will be Cecil Rhys-Babybunnybottom! Hahahahaha!"

ï Penelope Cruz half naked for Pirelli. Why are you still reading this?

ï Janet Jackson has made whoopee on a plane. In her seat. Surrounded by passengers. And peanuts. And crying babies. And manhandled issues of Flight magazine. And the heady stench of impeding fiery death. Anyone else have a boner right now?

ï Will Smith says that he and Jada are homeschooling their children, because history and dates aren't important, and anything of consequence you need to know, like for example how to fly a space shuttle, can be found in books. So if you see a couple of confused children wandering around Hollywood, scratching their asses and crying because they don't know how to find bus fare or talk to non-Cruises, but do know how to commandeer a submarine, they would be the Smith progeny.

Jada Is a Headbanger

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 18 May 2005 17:22:49 +0000

If you're in your mid-thirties and need a day away from the fryer at Wendy's and that chick you knocked up in high school, you might consider a day at your local music venue for this summer's Ozzfest. While enjoying $7 Bud Lights and a sea of grown men giving devil horns you'll be entertained by the likes of Ozzy Osbourne and a reunited Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, and . . . Will Smith's wife?

Making a fool of yourself in a vanity rock band isn't just for Keanu Reeves and Russell Crowe anymore! The ladies can pretend to rock just as hard, as proven by Juliette Lewis with her band Juliette and the Licks. Now Jada Pinkett Smith is following with an "Evanescence-esque" band of her own called Wicked Wisdom. And they have cred too. They've opened for Britney Spears AND Papa Roach. That's range. But what could have motivated Jada to step away from her normal life as pseudo movie star and wife and mother in order to rawk? We're guessing it including one too many nights of being instructed to get jiggy with it followed by Fresh Prince marathons. Girl just needed an excuse to get out of the house.

Jada Pinkett Smith is nude at MrSkin.com. Click right here.