CelebNewsWire» Hugh Grant Archives – CelebNewsWire

Hugh Grant Goes Nuts

Agent E. — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 19:02:56 +0000

Hugh Grant has never really seemed like the most polite chap, but we can’t really blame him. He’s not exactly the most exciting celeb to follow around. We mean, sure, there’s the off chance that some lucky photog will find him in another Divine Brown moment, but we really think he learned his lesson the first time around. But aside from that, Hugh probably lives a pretty boring life. Sure, he’s pretty, and the access is probably better, but wouldn’t a paparazzo’s time be better spent following Lindsay Lohan, especially if he had the foresight to pack a bag full of Volvic bottles filled with vodka? Well, this would be the case if Hugh hadn’t hauled off and kicked a pap in the nards out of the blue. Now he’s going to be constantly dogged by paps (protected by cups, obviously) hoping for a good shot and an eventual court settlement. But as Hugh Grant paparazzi attacks go, we think this one is a little unimaginative. Anyone can kick a snapper in the dork; it takes a real forward thinker to pelt one with beans.

Drugh Grantymore

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 16:46:53 +0000

It's impossible for the men of Hollywood to keep themselves from falling prey to Drew Barrymore's lispy charms. She lines them up like chiseled, chicklet-toothed dominoes and knocks 'em down and then, like Pat Benatar before her, she puts another notch on her lipstick case. The latest victim of Drew's affections? That delightful cad Hugh Grant. The NY Post dishes:

Drew Barrymore is loving being single – and available. The ìHeís Just Not That Into Youî star has been linked with several men recently, but had her eye on her ìMusic and Lyricsî co-star, Hugh Grant, Monday night. According to spies, Barrymore got very excited when the Brit walked into the Waverly Inn. ìShe squealed and jumped in his arms,î a spy said. The two then ìmade out,î but Barrymore showed up to the Beatrice Inn by herself later to hang with Clive Owen. Maybe Hughís just not that into her.

Oh, what an absolutely enchanting play on words, Post! We want to play too! How about "if she gets caught with any more men, she'll be Drew BarryWHORE!" Ahahaha! Oh, what enjoyable verbal jousting.

Hugh Grant Attacks Photographer, Throws Beans

Agent E. — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:40:15 +0000

"Don't take my blooming picture, bloke, or I shall have no option but to hurl this take away of beans at you. And if that doesn't teach you a lesson I will proceed with fish and chips and bangers and mash until you end up arse over tit."

This may one of our favorite stories ever. After, perhaps, Paris Hilton being repeatedly bitten by her pet kinkajou or Britney Spears wanting to study forensic science. Take it away, FemaleFirst:

Hugh Grant hurled a tub of baked beans at a photographer yesterday (24.04.07).

The actor was walking near his West London home at 10am and lashed out when a photographer asked if he could take his picture.

The star allegedly kicked him three times and kneed him near the groin.

Photographer Ian Whittaker, 43, said: "It looked like he had been out for a morning jog. I asked him if he would give me a smile because he was standing with his head down. But he must have been having a bad day because he started chasing me down the street.

"He gave me a couple of kicks in the legs and I think he kneed me."

Whittaker described how the 'Music and Lyrics' star then picked up a takeaway container full of beans and threw it at him.

The photographer also claimed 46-year-old Hugh – who recently split from his girlfriend Jemima Khan – launched into a tirade of abuse aimed at his children.

Whittaker said: "When I told him I had two children, he snarled, 'I hope they die of f***ing cancer'.

"That really upset me and is why I went to the police to make a complaint of assault against him. He was out of order."

Metropolitan police confirmed last night that the incident had been reported and they were planning to question Hugh on the matter.

We're a bit confused about the sequence of events here, so we'll try to break it down. Scene: A London street. Players: Hugh Grant, attired in running clothes, probably rather sweaty; Ian Whittaker, complete with big, flashy paparazzo camera. Whittaker approaches Grant, says, "I would be much obliged if you would allow me to take your photograph, as you are such a handsome man." Grant probably says something along the lines of "I'm too sweaty, piss off, wanker," then starts kicking the (surely completely polite and proper) pap. Then, not satisfied with his shin bashing, Grant surveys his surroundings for props. Spotting a convenient take away carton, he grabs it and throws, and as the beans pelt Whittaker's frame the photog pleads, "Please, sir, I have two children. They will surely laugh at my indignity and then pick the beans out of my hair for their supper. We are rather poor, see." And naturally Grant responds, "I hope they die of fucking cancer," because merciful cancer deaths would me more endurable than eating Daddy's dandruff-covered beans. See, Hugh's just a stand up chap who has the children's feelings at heart. That, or he's just a total prick. Whichever.

UPDATE: TMZ has wonderful, beany pics!

Hugh Grant Humped by Animals

Agent E. — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 17:40:19 +0000

Hugh Grant is a sexual god who cannot be resisted. At least when it comes to our furry brethren. He told Jay Leno:

I used to play football in a park in front of my house but I had to give it up because every time I bent over to do up my shoelaces there was a stray dog called Sandy that used to try to mate with me. My girlfriend had a pet dog but we had to give it to her mother in the end because of this problem.

He then looked into Jay's chin, saw his own enchanting visage reflected in its vast expanse, leaped out of his chair, and began to dry hump the lower portion of the host's face.

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Hugh Grant Snapped

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 23 Feb 2006 17:52:11 +0000

Good-natured, bumbling cad Hugh Grant isn't always a charming aggregate of clotted cream, Weetabix, and rakish good looks. No, gentle reader, even Hugh can be goaded into smacking a bitch down when the prying lens of the Pavarotti disturbs his morning stroll. Only instead of freaking out and turning into a whirling, Taz-like tornado of scratching and hair-pulling a la Cameron Diaz, he cheekily swatted the snapper with a folder and then kicked him in the bum. He even throws a hissy in a highly English fashion. Pip pip!

On Tuesday, Mr. Grant was enjoying a leisurely jaunt alone through Central Park in New York when a man with a cam approached and began furiously taking photos. Grant whipped out his cell phone–er, mobile–and pulled a Lohan, taking pictures back and asking, "How do you like it, mate?" The pap wasn't deterred, and kept shooting Grant, so the star had no other recourse except to call him a "pussy" and then wallop him with a manilla folder. Former New York Daily News spokesman Ken Frydman watched the whole thing go down, and said,

"The photographer kept smirking at him. He said, 'I don't know what you're so mad about.' [Grant then replied,] 'You're invading my privacy. This is your last warning, you cunt.' The photographer kept taunting him. That's when Grant kicked him in the butt. Not hard–he was just trying to shove him away."

It should be interesting to read the legal papers when the photographer sues Hugh Grant for assault. Ass-kicking aside, being boxed about the ears with a manilla folder is harsh. Paper cuts hurt! Was it a Smead folder? An Office Depot? A Pentab? God, we hope it wasn't a Pentab. They're legal sized.

Whaddya Think He Tipped Divine Brown?

Agent E. — Wed, 10 Aug 2005 17:05:04 +0000

Hugh Grant thinks that playing jokes on your cancer-ridden mother is funnier than watching Jessica Simpson trying to act. Oh, and heís a bad tipper. That lovable cad!

In a book called What Can I Do to Help? 75 Practical Ideas for Family and Friends from Cancer's Frontline, Grant talks about the things he did to try to cheer up his mother when she was dying of cancer. His favorite prank to pull was "secretly activating her hospital bed so that the head and legs both lifted to put her in an amusing jack-knife position." We know getting kneed in the eye always seems to cheer us up. He also said, "I blow-dried her hair on the day before she died, which was frankly not the success I had hoped for, and which may–I now concede–have finished her off."

In addition to being a terrible hairstylist, Grant may also be a bad tipper. After a recent trip to the Beverly Hills restaurant Spago, Grant thought he gave the valet a $10 bill when he had actually forked over $100. When Grant realized his mistake, instead of accepting his loss, he drove back to the valet stand and asked for the $90 back. A witness said, "He hopped out and asked the valet to give him $90 change. The poor guy gave it back but didn't look too happy. Spago customers are generally pretty lavish tippers." Thatís not very nice, Hugh. When we went to see Two Weeks Notice we didnít come up to you and ask for $8.50–and our lost sense of pride–back, no did we?

Grant Pulls a Penn

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 11 Nov 2004 21:34:16 +0000

Hugh Grant allegedly attacked a photographer at the premiere of his new movie, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, after the shutterbug attempted to take a picture of Grant with girlfriend Jemima Khan. And you thought all he was good for was oral sex and hookers.

The evening started out innocently enough, with Grant arriving separately from his ladyfriend, choosing to come with co-stars Renee Zellweger and Colin Firth to avoid attention. But after hooking up with famous-for-no-reason Jemima on the red carpet, Grant became agitated at a furiously snapping photog and let loose with a mighty shove. In true Brit fashion, he later apologized to the be-shoved and posed for a few shots.