Howard K. Stern turned himself in last night — he was arrested and charged, along with two other doctors, for allegedly conspiring to fuel an addict with prescription drugs — and the addict was Anna Nicole Smith.

Stern and Kapoor were charged with one count of unlawfully prescribing a controlled substance. Eroshevich and Stern were charged with unlawfully prescribing a controlled substance between June 2004 and January 2007.

Kapoor and Eroshevich were each charged with obtaining a prescription for opiates by ìfraud, deceit or misrepresentation.î They were both also charged with one count of obtaining a prescription for opiates by giving a false name or address.

Kapoor and Stern were also charged with one count of ìprescribing, administering or dispensing a controlled substance to an addict.î Eroshevich was charged with the same crime for separate prescriptions.

We're beginning to feel like this story is our own personal cross to bear. It haunts us. Just when we think we're free of it and we can let ANS rest in peace, her spectre floats into our window and haunts us. But we suppose that if we are to be haunted by a ghost, a crazy blonde ghost with huge tits is okay. Better than Slimer. Or Ghost Dad.

Totally gaytastic drawing of Larry and Howard via Pretty on the Outside.

So, Larry Birkhead might have been giving head to Howard K. Stern. We still haven't entirely digested the alleged dick ingestion yet, so we'll head over to The New York Daily News for a full round-up.

An explosive tell-all book about Anna Nicole Smith's sad demise alleges the two men who battled for custody of her baby girl and control of her fortune were gay lovers.

The bombshell allegations about the steamy relationship between the former Playboy Playmate's longtime companion Howard K. Stern and her baby's biological father, Larry Birkhead, come to light in "Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith's Death."

Sordid passages in the soon-to-be released book by former MSNBC journalist Rita Cosby describe how Anna Nicole and her friend allegedly caught Stern and Birkhead with their shirts off and their pants around their ankles in a Los Angeles home.

Jackie Hatten, described in the book as one of Anna Nicole's closest friends, said the men were engaged in oral sex.

"Their bodies were intermingled," Hatten says, according to a copy of the book obtained by the Daily News. "It was obvious what was happening."

The shocking book accuses Birkhead and Stern of cutting a secret deal after Anna Nicole was buried in March, with Birkhead getting custody of Dannielynn in return for Stern being named executor of the star's estate.

Birkhead and a lawyer for Stern both vehemently denied the accusations in Cosby's book yesterday – and vowed to drag her into court, setting the stage for an ugly legal battle.

"None of it is true," Birkhead told The News. "I'm gonna sue Rita Cosby for it."

The former stripper knew both Birkhead and Stern were gay, the book alleges. But Smith, who was obsessed with Marilyn Monroe, chose Birkhead as her lover because she wanted a blond, blue-eyed baby, according to Cosby.

The tell-all claims Anna Nicole would spread out on her bed and watch a video allegedly showing Birkhead and Stern having oral sex "over and over" while Stern worked on his computer in their Bahamas home. The existence of the video was confirmed by a source yesterday.

Stern is portrayed in Cosby's book as a jealous, money-grabbing control freak who manipulates the erratic blond beauty's celebrity status for his own financial gain.

As her life spun out of control after the death of her son, Daniel, last September, Stern kept Anna Nicole hidden from friends and forced the heavily drugged model to sign stacks of paperwork, the book claims.

His alleged "goodie bag" of meds – including Vicodin, Valium, morphine and Demerol – were never far from reach.
"He was the pharmacist and [the bag] was the drugstore," Anna Nicole's ex-boyfriend Ben Thompson told Cosby.

Oh, and if that's not enough for you, the book also claims that Anna Nicole thought that Howard may have poisoned her son Daniel.

In her most desperate moments, Anna Nicole Smith feared that her lawyer boyfriend Howard K. Stern played a role in her only son's death, a shocking new book about the former Playboy Playmate's demise alleges.

Former employees of the ex-stripper claim they heard her screaming at Stern, "You did this! You killed him! You caused this!" as the couple waited for the coroner to determine how Daniel Smith died in 2005, the book says.

Our only remaining question is how much will Red Light eventually shell out for the Howie on Larry (or vice versa; we're not sure) sex tape, and will it be grosser than Saved by the Smell? Probably, as we're assuming that both men spend more time staring at photos of themselves on the cover of Us Weekly than paying attention to their partner.

See Anna Nicole in happier, naked times at MrSkin.com.

An angry Larry Birkhead has vowed to sue author Rita Cosby, days before an explosive tell-all is set to hit bookstores. In "Blonde Ambition," Cosby charts the convoluted custody battle between Birkhead and lawyer Howard K. Stern, who both claimed paternity of Anna Nicole Smith's baby girl, Dannielynn. And while Cosby has not released details of the book before its Sept. 4 publication, it is believed she will allege Birkhead and Stern were secretly in collusion over the child. Dannielynn, who turns 1 on Sept. 7, could inherit hundreds of millions from the estate of Smith's late husband, J. Howard Marshall. "None of it is true," Birkhead told The News' Jo Piazza yesterday. "I'm gonna sue Rita Cosby for it." In March, Birkhead acrimoniously split with his attorney Debra Opri. She later sued for allegedly unpaid fees, though Birkhead insists it is she who owes him money. Birkhead said he believes Opri was the source of documents Cosby obtained, "so I am going to be suing both Debra and Rita Cosby. The bottom line is Rita Cosby needed something to do. She got fired [from MSNBC in 2006], and nobody wanted her." Meanwhile, OK! magazine severed ties with Birkhead over the Cosby allegations. The weekly was to have featured coverage of Dannielynn's first birthday as the final part of a $1.7 million access deal. Editor Sarah Ivens said: "It breaks my heart that OK! has to pull out of [the] shoot … but first and foremost, we care dearly about the well-being of the young one, and my moral obligation lies with her…. My biggest fear is that Larry and Howard may have tricked us all."

This makes us so giddy that we can't even think of a joke. And since Larry Birkhead and (especially) Howard K. Stern (that asshole) are jokes themselves, we think the story stands. We just have one question: If they were in it together all along, trying to create as much publicity buzz as possible to get Extra and OK! and whatnot to hand over piles of cash, why couldn't they have taken it even farther? Would it have killed them to gift us with a Jell-O wrestling match?

1) The hair, Larry: Most of the time, your hair looks great, and I'm sure you spend a lot of time getting it right. Just be warned that you might look good every day for a month. But the one day you leave in a hurry and don't pay enough attention, or you get a little wild with an untested new style — photos will be taken that will haunt you forever.

The rest of Candy's sage words can be found at TMZ, and, no, there is nothing in there about how much time you will save by having an entire room filled with wrapping paper, silk ribbons, and pastel-colored crepe paper.

UPDATE: And it's the shocker of the century as Larry Birkhead is revealed as Dannielynn's father. The whole Anna Nicole saga with the drugs and the death and the mystery and the money has been so convoluted and so full of twists that we half expected a talking kangaroo named Jimbo to emerge at the last minute as the true father. We're kind of disappointed, actually.

Re-mam-ber Anna Nicole at MrSkin.com.

The ENQUIRER and Star have also learned that Anna Nicole had a raging blood infection. The infection was caused by an unsterilized needle and contributed to her death.

The infection was so serious, it would have killed her if she had not overdosed.

Contrary to speculation, tests show Anna Nicole did not have methadone or any other painkilling drug in her system at the time of her death.

The ENQUIRER learned that just before she left the Bahamas for Florida on February 5, three days before she died, Anna Nicole received an injection in her left buttock.

Tests did not reveal what that substance was.

"As she boarded the plane for Miami, Anna Nicole developed a painful abscess at the site of the injection," said a source with knowledge of the case. "The needle wasn't sterile. The pain kept getting worse as the abscess got larger and larger very quickly."

From Miami, Anna Nicole and her live-in lawyer Howard K. Stern traveled to Hollywood, Fla. The pain from the abscess became excruciating and Anna Nicole developed a high fever.

By the time she got to the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino her fever was 105.

Anna Nicole, unaware that her blood was being poisoned by infection, had also developed a second infection from a virulent form of norovirus, which causes intestinal problems.

It was at this point that Anna Nicole ó and her entourage ó made a fatal mistake. She refused to go to a hospital, a decision that would have saved her life.

Instead, Anna's people gave her an ice bath to control the fever, administered the antibiotic ciprofloxacin by mouth and gave her an over-the-counter flu medicine.

As the needle-caused infection took over her body, she began vomiting, had severe diarrhea and could not urinate.

On February 6, a Tuesday, Anna spent the whole day in bed. She could not keep fluids down. She was becoming severely dehydrated.

On Wednesday, February 7, Anna seemed somewhat better, but she wasn't, the source said.

"She was still vomiting and suffering diarrhea," said the source. "Again, she spent the whole day in bed, as the abscess continued to grow. She was in such pain, she just wanted to sleep."

And that's when the final fatal mistake was made. Sometime overnight on February 7, Anna ingested the sleeping medication chloral hydrate. The drug is extremely potent. The dose was too much ó and in fact it was a toxic level, the ENQUIRER and Star have learned exclusively. On Thursday, February 8, Anna never woke up.

And it goes on from there. This is usually the place where we focus on one part of the story and say something that we think is funny. But this is not a funny story; it's a sad story. So instead we'll move on to a related bit of news: Howard K. Stern is being evicted from Anna Nicole's Bahamian mansion. We really, really hope that Howard (that asshole) will go out for lunch one day (presumably at the local Baby Brains Cafe, which we hear is the very best baby-brain restaurant in the Bahamas) and upon his return to the house he'll find the front lawn littered with his BVDs, fake prescription pads, copies of Asshole Monthly, and creepy surveillance equipment. We also really, really hope that this moment is caught by the paparazzi in both still- and moving-image form.

Remember Anna Nicole's good times at MrSkin.com.

Virgie Arthur challenged a ruling to bury Smith in Nassau, and her appeal was heard yesterday morning. But judges at Florida's Fourth District Court Of Appeals overruled Arthur's bid for custody of her daughter's remains late yesterday, re-awarding the corpse to attorney Richard Milstein, the legally-appointed guardian to Smith's baby daughter Dannielynn. Milstein, Smith's companion Howard K. Stern and her ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead had already agreed to bury the late model in the Bahamas, her adopted home.

"Awarding the corpse" is such a strange turn of phrase. "Yaaay! I won!!!" But we're just glad that Anna's wishes were taken into consideration and that her body will be laid to rest next to her son. This is not the first time that Anna Nicole's body has been laid, but it will certainly be the last. Zing! Oh, we hate ourselves.

Still need more ANS? Get thee to MrSkin.com. Post haste!

A.N.S.! A.S.S.! And more! At MrSkin.com.

ï Tyra Banks recreates her iconic swimsuit issue cover shot. Too bad her face looks like she's dropping a log in her bikini bottoms.

ï Gretchen Carlson finally lends credibility to FOX News with a liberal view of her panty-clad crotchial area. Did you catch that? Liberal! Haw haw?

ï Brody Jenner is pissed that Details insinuated he was using Nicole Richie, but says it's all good because he has "broad shoulders". Wait, what?

ï Watch in rapturous wonder as Jewel nearly drops a forkful of food down her cavernous chest chasm.

ï Anna Nicole's death is a lot like her life: with a bunch of creepy men all fighting over her body.

ï Speaking of Anna Nicole, her small, purple-haired, Broom Hilda lookalike tuff gal former assistant Kimmie speaks out, accusing Howard K. Stern of being an asshole!

ï Or not.

ï Michelle Rodriguez "never killed a pot head".

ï Naomi Watts is likely preggo via Liev Schreiber, who ejaculated semen into her vagina.

Anna Nicole, in happier and nakeder times, at MrSkin.com.