CNW Junk Drawer: Stamps n' Tramps

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 18:19:24 +0000

ï First look at Helena Bonham Carter in Terminator: Salvation. That look is a step up from her usual fashions, to be sure. (Yeeeah!)

ï How do you get over being denied when trying to adopt a Malawian orphan? If you're Madonna, you grab some random man candy and bang him retarded. (Anything Hollywood)

ï Robert Downey Jr. wearing some heels Carrie and Samantha and the girls would die for! (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Can Nicole Kidman's dusty, cobwebby, Botox-rigid uterus sustain human life a second time? Signs point to yes. (CelebWarship)

ï Kendra Wilkinson had to recently be taught how to use a stamp. She was told, "You just lick it, honey," and all was clear. (The Blemish)

ï You best do some bicep curls before picking up the new issue of Love magazine. It features pictures of Kelly Brook, and her cleavage is so hefty you may just pull something. Like your wiener! Wocka wocka! (Daily Stab)

ï Jessica Simpson was dropped from her country label. That makes her one step closer to doing porn. Eeeeeeexcellent. (Fatback)

Ignore Johnny Depp's Singing and Focus on Helena Bonham Carter's Magically Growing Breasts

Agent E. — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 17:59:47 +0000

We have an intense love/hate relationship with Tim Burton muse/concubine Helena Bonham Carter. The hate part we attribute to equal parts Fight Club, Planet of the Apes, and the whole serial husband-stealing business. The love part has everything to do with her frequent appearances in the Fashion Police section of Us Weekly, where she always looks petulant, annoyed, and as if she's just had a good schtup in some bushes, often with torn clothes and twigs in her hair to prove it. But we're going to put aside our animus for the moment to talk about boobs. Because boobs heal all wounds. Page Six reports:

HELENA Bonham Carter says her breasts created headaches during the production of "Sweeney Todd," which hits movie theaters Christmas Day. "Anyone who . . . pays attention to my breast size will see there's no continuity," she tells January's Playboy. "The first half of filming I wasn't pregnant, and the second half I was, and because we didn't shoot it in order, I start off with huge breasts and then I walk upstairs and suddenly I've got tangerines again. It's melons to tangerines." We're sure film scholars will be watching carefully.

Mmmm. Fruit salad sounds really good right about now. Some nice perky tangerines, firm melons, soft and velvety kiwis, topped off with juicy pink strawberries. Yum.

Helena likes to show off her tangerines–a lot! See them at MrSkin.com.

CelebNewsWire» Helena Bonham Carter Archives – CelebNewsWire

CNW Junk Drawer: Stamps n' Tramps

Ignore Johnny Depp's Singing and Focus on Helena Bonham Carter's Magically Growing Breasts