Tag Archives: Heidi Klum
Project Topless
"Oh, you think you can take off your bikini top in a glamorous locale with photographers snapping away? You think you can get away with that, Cindy Crawford? Well, guess what, trick. It's judgment day. Ka-BOOM! Want a big plate of sp‰tzle? Off comes MY bikini top. You like that, Crawford? I'll show you what [...]
Iman Knows More About Fashion, Spiders from Mars Than Heidi Klum
We always thought that a model fight would consist of third-grade-level name calling and limply flicking their wrists in each other's general direction. Because they're dumb and weak from malnourishment, right? But we forgot that models usually have inflated levels of spunk and self-importance, meaning that underhanded digs and hair pulling are usually more likely. [...]
Heidi Klum Wears Paint; Little Else
There are certain philosophical questions that dwell in nearly every human's mind. What is the meaning of life? Why am I here? What killed the dinosaurs? If a tree falls in the woods etc.? If Heidi Klum is not wearing a shirt but has a thin wash of paint sprinkled over her boobs, does that [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Boozin' and Coozin'
ï More oddly smooth Britney mons pubis. We're starting to think that maybe those are flesh-toned undies. Foiled! (Faded Youth)
ï But she still can't see her chitlins. (The Hollywood Gossip)
ï The bottle came between Jake Gyllenhaal and Kirsten Dunst. The bottle, and her baby vampire fangs. (Yeeeah!)
ï Denise Richards says that [...]
Heidi Klum Has Great Knockers
You know, just this morning we were thinking, “How are Heidi Klum’s boobs? We haven’t looked at them in a while, and we just can’t remember if she has great knockers or not.” Lucky for us Heidi never stops thinking about her boobs and wants everyone to know that her jugs are juicy. Juicy and [...]
Heidi Klum: Nippleless Wonder
Here's a very important question for all you knocker aficionados out there: When was the last time we saw Heidi Klum's nipples? Sure, they've popped up in a couple of Sports Illustrated-related venues, but that was quite a while ago. Do we actually have proof that Heidi's nipples weren't sacrificed in a freak modeling accident [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Biel 'Brella Bashes Like Britney
ï Now that it's raining more than ever/know that Biel still hates the paparazzi/You can get beat by her umba-rella/You get beat by her umba-rella, ella, ella, ay, ay, ay. (Egotastic!)
ï Britney Spears pretends she has narcolepsy, which is not an oozing venereal disease, like one might automatically assume. (Yeeeah!)
ï Katie "Jordan" [...]
Heidi Klum, Heinie Bum
Like Beyonce and her armpits, Lohan and her peace sign, and Christina Aguilera's kiss-blowing, Heidi Klum appears to have created her own ubiquitous signature pose. Though the "topless with hair over Photoshopped nipples" is a little more difficult to pull off than the Kardashian "looking over shoulder with jutting heinie" on the red carpet. However, [...]
The Jordache Look: Nipple-Free
Jordache jeans seem to have a hard time catapulting themselves beyond their rainbows-and-Lisa-Frank-stickers 1983 image. Their previous ad campaign of Brittany Murphy as a classic horse girl didn't help much, so the fatcats over at Jordache have wisely decided to ditch the bestiality and go straight for naked boobality. Hence the new ad with Heidi [...]
Heidi Klum's Breasts: Hear Them Now and Believe Them Later
Naming body parts is a practice generally reserved for post-fraternity types and Sex and the City obsessives, guffawing and high-fiving over "Corporal Frank n' Beans", or tittering behind a manicured hand about "the girls". So it comes as a bit of a surprise that Heidi Klum is a practitioner. She recently shared the following tale [...]