Tag Archives: Guy Ritchie
Suck on This, Madge
The post-divorce fallout between director Guy Ritchie and ropy hunk of fiber Madonna has played out like a game of Stratego. First, Madge made a bold move by calling Ritchie "emotionally retarded" on stage, but Ritchie countered with refusing to indulge. Next, Mad went for the flag by flaunting her new arm candy, 22-year-old male [...]
Madonna Settles, Wears Astroturf
Have we mentioned that we now love Guy Ritchie? There may have been talk of a Team Guy t-shirt, we're not sure. We have never seen even one of his movies, but this whole Madonna divorce has convinced us that he's a pretty awesome dude (we were going to say guy there, as we use [...]
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Also tagged celebrity breakups, celebrity offspring, celebs in court, Madonna
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"And They Shall Only Take Eighteen Breaths Per Minute"
We've got a few funny things to tell you about Madonna, but first, a confession, for which we'll abandon the sacred rules of blogdom and slip into the first person. When I was eight I loved Madonna. We're talking cut the fingers off my gloves love here. I even declared in class that I wanted [...]
1:04-1:08 = Foreplay, 1:08-1:12 = Nibbling and/or Nuzzling
With her ropey sinews of brutal, jerky-like muscles, Madonna can pick up anything and crush it. She can turn concrete to dust with a flick of her thumb, and streetlight poles into origami cranes with a few twists of her rippling forearms. And it turns out that she tried to muscle her husband and marriage [...]
Madonna Tries To Buy Her Own Children
See, here's the problem with rich people: If at any point in your life you have been able to think to yourself, "Gee, I'd really like for someone to paint a pride of lions turquoise, put them in tutus, and teach them to sing a L'il Wayne song" and were certain that your vast fortune [...]
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Also tagged celebrity breakups, celebrity offspring, Kabbalah, Madonna
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CNW Junk Drawer: Charlize, Pleez
ï I see London, I see Iraq. I see Charlize Theron's ass crack. (The Nip Slip)
ï Mary-Kate Olsen gets in an accident with an El Pollo Loco truck. Oh, sweet irony. (Drunken Stepfather)
ï Guy Ritchie wastes no time–he's allegedly hooking up with actress Kelly Reilly, who has red hair and almost certainly [...]
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Also tagged Alyson Hannigan, Amanda Carraway, booze, Britney Spears, celebrity accidents, celebrity hookups, celebrity nudity, celebrity pregnancies, celebs posing for Playboy, Charlize Theron, Kelly Reilly, Kerry Katona, Kim Kardashian, Mary-Kate Olsen
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"Like Cuddling up to a Piece of Gristle"
Lately we've noticed a pattern with Madonna. We won't hear much out of her for a few months, she'll be busy palling it up with JT in the studio or touring or otherwise completing tasks that might be considered work. And then for about two weeks there will be about ten stories a day about [...]
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Also tagged Alex Rodriguez, celebrity breakups, celebrity hookups, celebrity pregnancies, Madonna, sex
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Madonna and Guy Ritchie Set Sail for La Isla Divorce-a
If a sinewy egomaniacal succubus and a chav can't make it, what hope is there for the rest of us? After months of speculation, insinuation, and denials, Madonna's rep has confirmed today that she and Guy Ritchie are, indeed, divorcing. Yahoo! News breaks our hearts:
Madonna's spokeswoman says the singer and her husband, filmmaker Guy [...]
Everything's Fine! See? Just Fine!
Yesterday, Madonna's rep Liz Rosenberg issued a statement asserting that Madge and spouse Guy Ritchie were absolutely not divorcing. And to drive the point home, Madonna and Guy went to dinner last night, holding hands, and took special pains to get photographed as much as possible. Diabolical! Ah, just look at their joyous faces. The [...]