CelebNewsWire» Fabrizio Moretti Archives – CelebNewsWire

CNW Junk Drawer: The Hottie and the Nottie

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 17:16:55 +0000

ï Billy Crudup dumped his seven-months-preggo girlfriend to throw it into Claire Danes. Now Claire Danes is rebounding from HER Crudup breakup (say that five times fast) with a dude who digs dudes. Yeah, that sounds about right.

ï Paris says she is getting very, very serious about her acting. And to prove her very, very serious commitment to her craft, she is starring in the very, very serious motion picture The Hottie and the Nottie.

ï Suzanne Somers's home burned to the ground. Her reaction? "YAAAAAY! COOOOOOOOL! HOORAAAAYYY!"

ï Lindsay Lohan went out and partied-as-a-verb a mere two days after her alleged appendix surgery. Yeah, so? What's the big deal? You don't need an appendix to metabolize tequila and blow, DUHHHH.

ï The People's Choice Awards are funny because it seems that no actual People knew that they were happening.

ï DJ AM and Mandy Moore are hooking it up. After riding Nicole Richie for lo, so many years, the womanly softness of the divine Mandy must be like floating on a cloud of baby chicks wearing angora hats. Ahhhh.

ï Britney's new man has a name and a MySpace. Did her vagina tell him "thx 4 the add!!!"?

ï Et tu, Drew and Fab?

ï Is it just us, or has Mr. Blackwell just recycled the same old "worst dressed" list every year since 2000? He's still probably pissed that he can't put Cher on it anymore.

Celebrities Have Better Sex than You (Oh, and More Money)

Agent E. — Fri, 20 Jan 2006 17:59:30 +0000

When you woke up this morning you thought to yourself, "Gee, I really wish I knew what the sexual habits of celebrities were." (And frankly we're proud of you for managing to keep your sick-ass perversions in check this morning. Not like yesterday when your first thought upon waking involved Liza Minnelli getting fucked in the ass with a parsnip. Seriously, dude, get some help.) You're in luck, my friend, as today we can bring you news of the sexual stylings of Drew Barrymore and Reese Witherspoon. With their respective men. Not with each other. Sorry to get your hopes up there.

We bet you thought that after the Golden Globes celebrities skitted from after-party to after-party, eating the equivalent of an entire meal for the first time in three months, downing bottle after bottle of three-hundred-dollar champagne until their publicists covered their heads in a cashmere travel blanket, tucked them into the back of a limo, and sent them home to vomit the majority of their calories into their Italian porcelain toilets. Not when your wife has just won her first Best Actress award. Reese Witherspoon's house hubby, Ryan Phillippe, told USA Today,

"How will we celebrate at home? With hot and heavy lovemaking."

Hot and heavy lovemaking. That made us almost as sick as when Star Jones said that FOD Al Reynolds had "the legs of a stallion."
And on to the sexy part of our evening; Drew Barrymore likes the sound of pee mixed in with her "hot and heavy lovemaking." Drew's hipster boyfriend, Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti, told Jane magazine,

ìI had sex in the bathroom at the opera a little while ago, in New York. We went to ëLa Bohemeí and it was wicked boring. So we decided to go to the bathroom, and we got caught, and it was embarrassing. If weíd gone to the menís room, people wouldíve heard it and said, ëGood on you, man.í But we were in the ladiesí room, and when we heard an old woman start to tinkle, we couldnít help but crack up. I guess she told the security guy – he came in and was, like, ëJust go.í "

We're guessing the last time you were at a "wicked boring" opera, your girlfriend (or that Bloomingdale's mannequin you outfitted in your mom's old Lane Bryant dress) wouldn't pop one off with you in a urine-soaked bathroom stall.

That Fab's a lucky guy. See why at MrSkin.com.

Ryan doesn't have it half bad either.

And speaking of Ryan, he's at MaleStars.com.

The Lohan: No Bad Deed Goes Unpunished

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 05 Oct 2005 17:34:29 +0000

Karma exists. If you don't believe us, then pull up a carpet square, tiny childen, because it's storytime! Today, we have a nice fable about the little redhaired girl who was so very mean that Fate made her pretty car go boom. Everyone, look at the nice pictures!

Last Saturday, former Fugee Wyclef Jean hosted a Hurricane Katrina benefit in suburban Chicago. Supposedly co-hosting was our favorite Mean Girl Lindsay Lohan, who reportedly missed upwards of three planes and showed up several hours late. Our glitzy, glamorous anonymous source was in attendance and tells us that upon her arrival, the Hohan hid on a couch with her friends and her Blackberry and refused to speak to reporters, fans, or the other celebrity hosts (Entourage's Jeremy Piven, Drew Barrymore, and her staggeringly charming and handsome boyfriend, Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti) claiming that she was sick. But the funny thing, see, is that she proceeded to drink and chain smoke for the duration of the evening. At one point, one of Lohan's henchwomen approached a guest and snatched away her camera, falsely accusing the guest of surreptiously snapping pictures of the now-boobless star. Piven took the stage and cracked to the crowd, "If you want pictures, Lindsay Lohan is here and she is very excited about taking pictures with you," which elicited gleeful props from Drew n' Fab. Afterwards, Wyclef Jean performed and jumped on the Lindsay-bashing train, freestyling, "Lindsay, you asked for the plane, I got you the plane, smile, Lindsay, smile," causing Lohan to exit in a huff.

Yesterday, Lohan got called out by the gods, getting into her third car accident in the past year. Driving like Zsa Zsa Gabor after a couple two tree morning highballs, Lindsay smashed her black Benz convertible into a red van on Robertson Ave. in Beverly Hills, sending the van's driver to the hospital. Reporter Victoria Recano told imdb.com that there was no apparant concrete cause of the crash: "There was no one following her. She was going pretty fast on Robertson." Lohan, who ran into an antiques store to hide after the accident, could face criminal charges. We all knew she was destined for a Dana Plato destiny, but we had no idea it'd be before she was old enough to vote. Enjoy the crash site pics here, and heed this story's simple moral: don't be a dick. Or don't blow rails and drive. Or don't become a child star. Gosh, this is a multifaceted story with countless morals. Ain't no fox and grapes style b-crap when we're talkin' 'bout the Lohan.

Lilo's fabled cans of yore: via MrSkin.com.

Drew De-Strokes?

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 08 Feb 2005 17:15:19 +0000

Drew Barrymore has reportedly left her longtime beau, Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti, asking “Is This It?” after she dumped him. Via a letter. While that doesn’t have the same devil-may-care, post-post-post-ironic cajones as dumping your rock star arm candy by text message, it's still a bold, bold move on Drew's part.

On Sunday night, Barrymore hosted a party for Another Magazine, and the breakup suspicion alert level was raised to "orange" when nary a Fab was to be seen. Rumor has it, she wrote him the Letter of Dumpation last week, and when Page Six called their reps for a statement, they got the cold shoulder. Could Fab just not measure up to his charming, hunky predecessor, Tom Green? Is Drew having an affair with Angelina Jolie? Stay tuned!