CelebNewsWire» Evangeline Lilly Archives – CelebNewsWire

Go Green! Go Barren!

Agent E. — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:59:45 +0000

Here you’re worried that you keep on forgetting your reusable totes every time you head out to the farmer’s market or that you can’t fit a compost bin into your kitchen, but you’re missing the point, man. You want to go green? Lost star Evangeline Lilly has the answer for you: Just stop crapping out babies. Says our own gossip doula, FemaleFirst:

The actress believes people are procreating at an alarming rate and must slow down their baby-making or adopt to “protect” the Earth.

She said: “For a very long time, I have had intentions to adopt. We have a huge population problem on Earth. We’re not going to protect the Earth the way we need to protect it if we don’t stop making so many babies.

“I have always wanted to have a child of my own and I will always want to go through the gift that women have been given to experience that, so I hope to be a mother at some point. I think I can allow myself one child – and from then on, I think I would have to adopt. It makes sense not to add to the population problem.”

Forget about your hybrid cars and your solar panels and your “if it’s yellow, let it mellow” rule. You really want to save the planet? Don’t birth little Madison and Jamison and Ellison naturally; go save them from poor people in other countries! It’s green and fashionable.

CNW Junk Drawer: 67 Hours of Labor

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 17:48:59 +0000

Rihanna’s bringing back the Gumby. You go, girl. (Yeeeah!)
Top 100 Celebrity Nude Scenes of All Time! Shut the door, turn off your phone, and dig into #40-31. (Mr Skin)
Lake Bell in a see-through bra for GQ. Who’s Lake Bell? Who cares! (The Blemish)
Michael Jackson’s doctor will most likely be charged with manslaughter. (TMZ)
Paris Hilton claims that MJ named his daughter after her. Wait a minute, Michael Jackson’s daughter is named VD Farmer? (Celebrity Milkshake)
Kelis had a baby boy after 67 hours of labor. That’s right. That’s a 6 and a 7. Not a typo. (Amy Grindhouse)
Evangeline Lilly and Dominic Monaghan: the romance of the hobbit and the hottie is back on. (Celebitchy)
A touching stroll through the halls of Celebrity Drunkface. (Cityrag)
Amy Winehouse is as innocent as the Snuggle Bear on a spring morn. Fly free, little crackie! (Bitten and Bound)

"Hey, Freckles, That's Not a Toilet"

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 26 May 2009 17:06:48 +0000

Fair and freckled Lost babe Evangeline Lilly has a new movie called The Hurt Locker to promote. A lot of actresses will spark interest in a project by appearing on talk shows or posing in their drawers for Maxim or even busting out with a bit of a nip slip, but not our Evangeline. She did the rounds at Cannes, and after telling reporters that she almost turned down Lost because the script was "crap" and "dramatic Gilligan's Island", she let loose a torrent of words that was not unlike one squatting and voiding one's bladder:

"I'm the type of person who, when I'm in the jungle working with Matthew Fox, will just crouch beside a bush three feet away and take a pee."

That's pretty cool, and we can definitely relate. We're pretty similar, Evangeline Lilly and us. Only instead of urinating three feet from Matthew Fox in the jungle, we squatted down and took a dump next to Michael BublÈ on the sidewalk cafe adjacent to Figaro Cafe. Why? Ask BublÈ. Ask BublÈ.

Evangeline Lilly's Bikini Bottoms Get Lost

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 17:55:04 +0000

Because we care about you remaining gainfully employed, we cleverly placed the picture of Evangeline Lilly's ass hanging out of her bikini bottoms behind the cut. Even though, as far as incidental celebrity nudity goes, droopy drawer ass is pretty low on the "dirty" list. In fact, it's so fluffy-bunny, Reading Rainbow innocent that you're not even allowed to refer to it as an ass. Only a tushie. Or maybe a bum-bum.

Hahaha, eat your heart out, Rachel Bilson. You think you're cute? You think you're a big fat fucking cutie? Well peep this, pegacorn breath. A tiny little fanny ("fanny" is also acceptable) winking out, a face expressing sheer joy over the oops factor. That's cute. Evangeline could only be cuter if a cocker spaniel puppy had paddled out to sea and yanked her drawers down with its warm, soft snout. Oh, and if the cocker spaniel puppy had a trio of freshly-hatched baby chicks riding on its back.

Get Lost in Evangeline . . . at MrSkin.com.

Dominic and Evangeline Get Handsy and Sandsy

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 17:55:48 +0000

Awkward English hobbit and Canadian Jesus freak with brutal abs meet on set of Hawaiian plane crash show, fall in love, dry hump on beach. Only in Hollywood.

Please let that tattoo say "You all everybody."

Dominic Monaghan tests lover Evangeline Lilly's body-fat percentage with his mouth:

Secreting yourselves away behind a piece of driftwood! Ingenious move, you wily little shits! No one will spot your surreptitious makeout session now!

Except the dude in the Jams.

Who can't hold back from expressing his utter distaste at the sight of the hottest lady on TV grinding on a Monchichi.

The rest of the series can be viewed at Egotastic!

And there's more Evie at MrSkin.com.

CNW Junk Drawer: Dunstcrack!

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 04 May 2006 17:38:03 +0000

ï Teri Hatcher deems her toes and nipples "suck-worthy". Just like her acting!

ï Evangeline Lilly blames Hollywood for forcing her to get really, really buff.

ï IF you want Rod Stewart's daughter's naked bo-dy, AND you think she's sex-y, COME on sugar, click right here.

ï Ashlee Simpson begins her slow, painful metamorphosis into her sister. First, the nose. Then comes the Jackass copulating.

ï Anna Nicole Smith climbed on top of an 89-year-old man, placed his shriveled, liver spotted member into her person, and is probably getting a billion dollars for the trouble. Now, possibly some dude has mounted Anna Nicole's shriveled, Trimspa-ravaged body, placed his member inside her person, impregnated her, and wants the ca$h. Ah, the circle of life.

ï Dunstcrack! Dunstcrack! Dunstcrack! Dunstcrack!!!

ï Eva Longoria talks about getting naked or doing it or something like that. In related news, bear shits in woods, Pope wears funny hat, etc. etc.

ï Denise Richards tries to shake off the shit-stink of husbandstealing assholism, turning the tables on Heather Locklear, saying, "Heather knows why we arenít friends.î Which sounds suspiciously like the now-classic "Nicole knows what she did."

Puttin' the "Tail" in "Cottontail"

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 19 Apr 2006 17:40:09 +0000

Tinseltown time seems to have come to a standstill in the wake of the Tom Thumb and K-Hole birthing news. Paris Hilton has stopped flashing her yams, Britney hasn't thrown little Sean out of a moving vehicle or substituted his formula with Windex, Eva Longoria hasn't spoken about . . . anything. We need to fill up some space and, having nothing to talk about and this being Lost night and all, here is a picture of Evangeline Lilly dressed as the Easter Bunny.

Nice ass, Freckles.

Are there Evangeline Lilly pictures at MrSkin.com? Yes there are Evangeline Lilly pictures at MrSkin.com.

Frilly Lilly

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 27 Feb 2006 17:59:55 +0000

Frankly, she looks kind of silly.

On Mondays, we normally like to prod your eyelids open with a quick shot of nipple. However, these photos of Lost star Evangeline Lilly wearing what appears to be the bikini our baby sister wore in 1982, when she was four, might jolt you out of your weekend torpor just as easily. By confusing your penile area. Because, like, here is a woman with a beautiful face that tops off the body of a male wrestler. And there are boobs. There appear to be boobs on this scarily cut body. Then the whole package is wrapped up in more flouncy frills then a Santino Rice creation. Seriously, why is she wearing that? We feel like a little doggie is about to run up and chomp down on her fluffy swim bottoms, exposing her white tush and causing her to make a little "ooh!" face.

Evangeline's nude review is up at MrSkin.com.

Hope for a Naked Evangeline Lilly: Lost.

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 09 Jan 2006 17:59:05 +0000

Evangeline Lilly is Evangeli-cal . . . about not going nude! LOL! LOL! Ahahahahah!!!!!!! Cuz, like, like, like, evangelical! That's like her name! Ahaaaaahaha! Ahaha! Ha! Ha. Ha.

In these halcyon days of television, where Mischa Barton slips nip on FOX and various sundry ladies show their actual clams on Masters of Horror, it doesn't come as much of a surprise that the pilot epidsode of Lost actually contained a nude scene. However, Evangeline Lilly likes Jesus a lot, and seeing her sans clothes was never meant to be. Lilly shared this with Arena magazine:

"When I got the first draft of the pilot episode there was a nude scene in there. So before I got the job I said to JJ (Lost creator JJ Abrams), 'You need to know I'm a bit of a prude and nudity is something that I'm going to be adamantly opposed to'. When we came to shoot the scene it had been re-written for me to be in a tank top and underwear and I really appreciate that they made it more modest. In the end I did it in just my underwear – which I think was a happy compromise."

Yeah, happy for you, shitty for us. Wait, did we just call Evangeline Lilly in her underwear "shitty"? This gig has made us become so jaded.

Evangeline Lilly in said underwear at MrSkin.com. Clicky click!

Evangeline Lilly Loses a Pair of Panties, Gains a Babysitting Job

Agent E. — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 17:20:34 +0000

First we're gonna make you think about Evangeline Lilly's panties. We'll wait for a minute while you ponder. Now we're going to ruin that fantasy by telling you that she may soon be betrothed to a hobbit. What, like you would have been a better choice?

We know that some young boys are rather desperate and would do just about anything to touch a boob or sniff a pair of panties, so we're not surprised that some enterprising young lad snatched a pair of Evangeline's underoos off of the clothesline where they were drying. FemaleFirst quotes Evangeline: "A friend was in the shower when there was a knock at the door. When she answered it, she saw a boy stealing my knickers off the washing line. Show bosses have now taken the decision to hire extra security." Note to FemaleFirst: Stop trying to make everyone sound British. We doubt that even Canadians use words like knickers. It's clear that she said something more along the lines of "Deary me, someone has nicked my skivvies!"

Perhaps it wasn't a teenage boy stealing those underthings, but wee little Dominic Monaghan. The two have been rumored to be dating for quite some time now, and word in the jungle is that Monaghan has been shopping for engagement rings. But if Charlie marries Kate who's going to take care of Claire's baby? The Others will get him. We can't let that–Run! There's a polar bear! Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! Oops, sorry about that. We haven't quite learned the meaning of make-believe yet.

Check out Kate–we mean Evangeline–at MrSkin.com.