CelebNewsWire» Evan Rachel Wood Archives – CelebNewsWire

Evan Rachel Wood Inches Closer to Dream of Dating Actual Vampire

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 16:10:17 +0000

Maybe it’s the erotic clicking of the plastic fangs or the Southern heat, or maybe it’s the romanticism of trying to take shelter from Anna Paquin’s grating fake accent, but people tend to fall in love on the set of True Blood. First Anna and costar Stephen Moyer hooked up, and now CNW’s favorite little Holita, Evan Rachel Wood, has found love with Alexander Skarsgard. Lainey Gossip reports:

Evan Rachel Wood and Alexander Skarsgard are dating.

Am told exclusively by an infallible source that it’s been several weeks now. And that she flew to Shreveport, Louisiana on Friday to visit him. Skarsgard is there working on Straw Dogs with Kate Bosworth.

As for Evan and Alex – they met, of course, on the set of True Blood, and were able to keep it low key, very underground while they were in LA, never venturing out to pap friendly locations, only sighted a few times discreetly, and so far the relationship is progressing well, they’re having fun together.

Vampires! They’re so hot right now. Sure, banging a dude who could chomp your jugular is hot, but Evan and Kristen Stewart and all these girls are going to be left red-faced when this whole Dracula thing blows over and girls move on to the next hot trend, boning Frankensteins. Rob Pattinson and Skarsgard will be yesterday’s news and everyone who’s anyone will be chasing Kevin Weisman and Jason Segal.

Evan Rachel's Nipple Wood in Nude I.D. Photo

Agent E. — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 16:46:24 +0000

We know that you don't want to waste your whole day thinking about Chris Brown, since he is still A ASSHOLE,†so now we'll bring you something a little cheerier, a little peppier. Something with zing. That's right, nipple. We generally don't pay much attention to I.D. magazine because, frankly, it looks a little too good for us. The cover sneers out at us, saying, "Non, theees is not for you" (yes, in our world snooty magazines speak in a French accent). It knows that we are not smart enough, not hip enough for it. It laughs at us and points us to the shelf with People. Which usually we're OK with. Except when I.D. has naked ladies in it. People NEVER has naked ladies. People has never even seen a naked lady. But thankfully that's what the internet is for: dispersing naked ladies for the masses. So after the cut, check out Evan Rachel Wood naked in I.D. Just try not to think about Marilyn Manson's tongue when you see her nude nipple. Oh, did we just ruin it for you? Oops. Sorry.

There Is a Bad Boo-Boo on Marilyn Manson's Heart

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 17:53:42 +0000

Emmett Kelly died long ago, but it's OK because we have Marilyn Manson, in all his water-retaining gothiness, to fill the void of the sad clown. In a new interview with Spin, the 40-year-old talks about his breakup with 20-years-younger Evan Rachel Wood, and how it was such a wicked bum-out that he totally crossed her name off the spine of his Geometry book and drew buck teeth and cross eyes on pictures of her. Rar! Take that!

My lowest point was Christmas Day 2008, because I didn't speak to my family. My walls were covered in scrawlings of the lyrics and cocaine bags nailed to the wall. And every time I called her that day — I called 158 times — I took a razorblade and I cut myself on my face or on my hands.

"This was intentional, this was a scarification, and this was like a tattoo. I wanted to show her the pain she put me through. It sounds made up but it's completely true and I don't give a shit if people believe it or not. I've got the scars to prove it. I have fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer."

Aw, hey, Manson. Buck up. Turn that frown upside down, little guy. It happens to the best of us. We all go through a phase like that! Usually it's called eighth grade.

Evan Rachel Wood Draws the Line at Answering Questions

Agent E. — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:03:56 +0000

Some days we come to work and whine, "I don't wanna write about Jennifer Aniston. She's booooooring!" But you know what? We suck it up and do it anyway. You want to know why? Because it's our fucking job. So we don't feel much sympathy for actors who complain about promoting their movies. That's how it works. You make a movie, you go talk to people about it so that people like us will pay to see it. That's how you earn your ridiculously inflated paycheck. Someone please explain this to Evan Rachel Wood. The NY Post says:

EVAN Rachel Wood plays a bubbly blonde in Woody Allen's bumbling "Whatever Works," which kicked off the Tribeca Film Festival on Wednesday — but she was neither bubbly nor a blonde at the after-party. The actress, sporting a red dye job, agreed to pose for photos, but stormed out with her hands over her face almost immediately after being asked a simple question by a reporter. Her publicist later explained that she was feeling "overcrowded." Allen didn't stay long either, with his rep also chalking up his early exit to his "feeling claustrophobic." "Seinfeld" co-creator Larry David, the film's star, gamely stuck around all evening, telling Page Six, "Let's hope more people end up seeing this than 'Sour Grapes,' " the feature he penned in 1998 that made only $120,000.

Now that's the kind of attitude we like. Larry David could probably eat platefuls of $100 bills for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next fifty years and still never come close to running out of money, and he says, "Hey guys, sorry my other movie sucked. Come see this one!" While Evan Rachel Wood is sobbing in the corner, muttering, "I'm a tortured artist, I'm a wilting flower, no one understands me, leave me alone!"

CNW Junk Drawer: Humpotron

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:08:24 +0000

Justin Timberlake dry humps Jessica Biel on the Jumbotron. Way to rub it in, dickface. (The Blemish)
Gavin Rossdale allegedly had a 5 year affair with a dude. Everything Gwen, everything Gwen? I don’t think so. (Yeeeah!)
Bonebag Lindsay Lohan goes on Ellen to discuss the finer points of chowing box. (Hollywood Grind)
Helen Mirren + tight dress + cold air = grandma fetish. (IDLYITW)
It’s another Un-Funny or Die video! This time, Denise Richards talks about her funbags. But she means party favors! Not boobs! DO YOU GET IT????? (Daily Stab)
Want to hear Josh Hartnett talking about his loose stools? Your wish is TMZ’s command. (TMZ)
Celebrity nipple piercings. They will surprise and amaze! (Cityrag)
Ryan Seacrest says Britney Spears is pregnant again. And if Seacrest says it, you know it’s true. Like that time he told me that lace-up booties with a stacked heel would be hot for spring. (Allie Is Wired)
Evan Rachel Wood’s going to be on season 2 of True Blood. Just wait until she finds out there won’t be any actual blood. (CelebWarship)

CNW Junk Drawer: Extra Special "All Sexy Ladies" Edition

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 18:05:25 +0000

Jessica Alba ass, all wrapped up with a bow. (IDLYITW)
Lady Gaga has tape on her nipples, so they won’t poke-her-face. ZING! (Jezebel)
Cheerleader coach Carlie Becker, who was shitcanned for posing for Playboy. Rah rah, sis boob bah. (Bitten and Bound)
Jordana Brewster in Maxim. You’ll masturbate fast and/or furiously. (Gone Hollywood)
Evan Rachel Wood plus lingerie plus sexy plus gun minus Manson equals GQ spread. (ICYDK)
Alessandra Ambrosio poses for Homem Vogue and she’s pretty much naked. A G-string, after all, is just a few woven threads away from bunghole. (The Daily Fix)

Second Time's a Charm! A Charm of the Darkest Magick.

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 17:49:58 +0000

All right! Time to put the ole black PVC saddle on one of the apocalyptic horses of yore and ride again! Ride again into a romantic sunset, holding a black rose and a Bauhaus picture disk. That's right! Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson may be together again. Page Six hails the second coming of Gothbert Gothbert and Holita:

Are bizarre couple Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson an item again? They were seen leaving the W Hotel in LA together Sunday morning before Wood walked the red carpet at the Oscars. The 21-year-old actress recently denied rumors she was hooking up with her "The Wrestler" co-star Mickey Rourke – and now we know why. Our source outside the hotel said Manson emerged first and "said he was waiting for his girlfriend." Then, she came out and they climbed into a waiting car.

Ohhhh, we see what she did there. The ole "The world is disgusted with my boyfriend so I'll pretend to break up with him and date Mickey Rourke so when I get back together with him, he'll seem like a nice Jewish dentist in comparison." Diabolical!

Evan Rachel Wood Still Thinks Mickey Rourke Is Gross

Agent E. — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:05:32 +0000

We've been down this road before. Some overzealous gossiper assumed that Evan Rachel Wood was screwing her 52-year-old The Wrestler costar Mickey Rourke because, of course, who wouldn't be able to resist his Play-Doh Fun Factory features, penchant for shiny jackets, and wispy pre-teen facial hair? And then, as now, ER denied the claims. She told Rolling Stone:

Iím upset because I feel disrespected by the press and by Mr. Rourke. Just because Iím single doesnít mean that you can take advantage of me. Itís unfair that the performances might suffer because of all of these distractions. I'm not attracted to him, he's too old for me. Nothing ever happened and nothing ever will.

Duh, 40 is her cut off. And she prefers her men with smooth, kabuki-painted faces and soft, feminine man boobs. Mickey is obviously too tan, and his bosoms are far too chiseled.

CNW Junk Drawer: It's Like Trying to Catch a Falling Star

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 17:29:24 +0000

ï J. Lo may sign on to star in The Heights. Which is a Broadway play, and unfortunately not the 1990s FOX series featuring the hit song "How Do You Talk to an Angel?". (Fatback)

ï He always fills his ballroom. The event is never small. The social pages say Ricky Gervais has got the biggest balls of all. (Female First)

ï Rihanna in a bikini for GQ Mexico. Ole. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Those pesky Mickey Rourke doing it with Evan Rachel Wood rumors rear their ugly (but not as ugly as meatball-faced Mickey) heads again. (CelebWarship)

ï Any opportunity to ogle Jessica Biel's buoyant ass in a bikini is a cause for celebration. Hosannas all around!(The Blemish)

ï Britney Spears's brutal abs will grab you, slap you around, and stuff you in a locker. (Hollywood Tuna)

ï Ginger Spice is engaged to a guy she's known for a few weeks. Nice one. (Anything Hollywood)

ï The Lingerie Bowl was canceled. Great. Now what are we going to do with these 35 pounds of wings. (Mr Skin)

ï The sexiest celebrity lips. (Manofest)

ï In the epic battle of Jessica Alba vs. Bill O'Reilly, only one can emerge the victor. (Daily Stab)

Evan Rachel Wood Trades Vampire for Alien Boy

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 17:01:33 +0000

Two straight years of toggling gray-haired, droopy nuts can really wear on a girl. So after a long, lonely time filled with Marilyn Manson's toupee and absinthe, then a rumor she was doing Mickey Rourke, Evan Rachel Wood has possibly, hopefully, found a nice young man her own age: That Kid from 3rd Rock From the Sun. Hit us, IMDb!

Actress Evan Rachel Wood has sparked reports she's moved on from her romance with rocker Marilyn Manson – after she was spotted in the arms of actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt in Los Angeles.

The 21-year-old star and 3rd Rock From The Sun actor, 27, appeared together on 9 November at the Hamilton Behind the Camera Awards. And according to the National Enquirer, Wood has ignited a new love affair.

A source tells the tabloid, "This thing with Joseph has come out of nowhere. They've taken everyone by surprise. They were having so much fun together. They were dancing wildly, drinking and flirting. Joseph's a genuinely nice guy. He and Evan Rachel are very compatible and make a cute couple. After her relationship with Manson, there's no doubt in my mind her parents are relived she's finally dating someone clean-cut and closer to her age."

Awesome, let's think of a cute celebrity nickname for the two lovebirds! How about Jason Gorchel-Evseph Rachdon-Wooditt? Catchy!

See Evan Rachel Wood naked at MrSkin.com.