Tag Archives: Eva Mendes
Kate Moss Gets Tossed (by Man in Butt Floss)
Kate Moss is a very versatile model/celebrity/champion smoker and snorter of various substances. First of all, she can wear clothes. And she does it pretty well, looks hot and young and trendy. But beyond that, she can not wear clothes. And she still looks hot and young and trendy. Plus, she’s topless. Works on many [...]
Eva Mendes Bests All Comers in Hottness Arena
Every January, we eagerly await Askmen.com and their big reveal of their annual "99 Most Desirable Women" list. From Christmas to mid-January, our gonads remain unkneaded, laying in wait for the internet to tell us which comely Hollywood starlet will be the impetus for our longing. This year, everyone's favorite crummy tattoo canvas Megan Fox [...]
Eva Mendes: The Star-Spangled Banger
With all this talk about elections and debates and candidates and superdelegates, there has been a fair amount of discussion on what it means to be an American. A true American. A true American is willing to fight for one's country. To stand up for one's right, no matter what the cost! To uphold the [...]
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Eva Mendes Addicted To Acting, Not Booze
Movie stars have all the luck. If they get caught doing something illegal or embarrassing, they can just say they're researching a movie role. But when you get caught sticking your wang into the glory hole in the Rt. 9 rest stop bathroom (again), you can't very well claim that it was research for your [...]
C'mon! Vogue! Let Your Feet Rub the Boobies!
Eva Mendes recently graduated from rehab, and she wants to make damn sure we all know that she is 100% OK. According to various academic texts like the Bible, Introduction to Modern Physics, and Choose Your Own Adventure #45: You Are a Shark, the best way to do this is by showing your boobs. Eva [...]
CNW: "I Said Impeti-Go, Go"
ï Hey, Amy. Maybe you should extend that liner to cover your entire face. (Flisted)
ï Eva Mendes gets a job shilling Calvin Klein drawers! Just like Marky Mark, only with more substance abuse and less wiggerliness. Same size boobs, though. (Yeeeah!)
ï Clip of Brit's appearance on How I Met Your Mother. Talking [...]
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Also tagged advertisements, ailing celebs, Amy Winehouse, Britney Spears, celebrity catfights, celebrity offspring, celebs in bikinis, Charlie Sheen, Eva Longoria, Jennifer Aniston, Nicole Kidman, Nicole Richie, Pamela Anderson, paparazzi, Paris Hilton, Soleil Moon Frye, tattoos, television
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Kirsten Dunst Fills Eva Mendes-Shaped Void at Cirque Lodge
Today on an all-new episode of Celebrity Rehab Swap, Kirsten Dunst and Eva Mendes will switch places, with Kirsten taking up Eva's abandoned bed at Cirque Lodge, trying to rid her system of intoxicating substances while challenging her fellow 'habbers to farting contests, and Eva trying to make it on the outside, avoiding tequila shots [...]
Eva Mendes Is Addicted to Something
Some stars have very public implosions (complete with pubic explosions), horfing two foot long rails before jumping into an Escalade to drive it on an off-ramp at a high rate of speed with a baby strapped to the ski rack. And others quietly slip into rehab like Houdini or something. And Eva Mendes is one [...]
Eva and Cameron Seal Friendship with Flatus
Picture Eva Mendes. Her skin creamy cocoa latte. Her hair like bronzed silk. She comes to you at night in a diaphanous robe, a halo of soft light illuminating her indecent beauty. She leans toward you, closer, closer . . . she smells like fresh-baked cinnamon rolls. A sexy, shy smile tugs at the corners [...]
Eva Mendes: A Slippery Nipply
Nipple slips have become so commonplace that we are about to manufacture and market an entire line of jewelry based on the tit-spigot snafu. All of our lovely brooches will be in the shape of nipples–some pink, some brown, some large, some small–and made with 100% genuine Swarovski crystals. Pin them to your blouse and [...]