Tag Archives: Eva Longoria
Lez-perate Housewives Kiss
Well, there it is. The Desperate Housewives lesbian kiss that is bound to cause shockwaves across the nation and save the show from crap ratings. When it comes to ratings desperation plot twists, the lez lip lock is one step away from the mysterious addition of a precocious 6-year-old. Or a wisecracking but well-meaning alien [...]
Teri Hatcher and Eva Longoria to Shock Approximately 12 Viewers with Lesbian Kiss
We had hoped that with all of the great television shows airing these days we'd surpassed the era of cheap ratings ploys. Shows don't need the likes of Brian Bonsall when they've got interesting storylines involving older, not-as-cute cast members. But the one thing the networks are holding onto is the lesbian kiss. People still [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Dunst You Wanna Stalk Me?
ï Kirsten Dunst has a stalker. Is it an orthodontist looking for work? Zing-a-zing-zonggg!!!! (The Superficial)
ï Elisha Cuthbert's hockey dude ex calls her "sloppy seconds". Do sloppy seconds bounce on ice? (Yeeeah!)
ï Jessica Alba's boobs like calamari! Wait, we mean Campari. (F-listed)
ï Helen Mirren goes snorkeling in a tankini. It's your [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged advertisements, Ashley Greene, celebrity offspring, celebs in bikinis, Elisha Cuthbert, Helen Mirren, Jessica Alba, Joan Jett, Kate Moss, Kirsten Dunst, Kristen Stewart, Lindsay Lohan, movies, stalkers
Leave a comment
CNW Junk Drawer: Rip Off Them Spanx
ï Eva Longoria upskirts; shows off some sizzling shapewear from the Sears "Silver Fox" foundation garment collection. (Yeeeah!)
ï A plane carrying Winona Ryder was forced to make an emergency landing, presumably because she was all zorked out on goofballs. (Yeeeah!)
ï Homoeroticism on the Twilight set. Rawr! (Hollywire)
ï Despite her unending, ultra-desirable [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged ailing celebs, Anne Hathaway, Brian Austin Green, celeb engagements/weddings, celebrity catfights, celebrity gay rumors, Karolina Kurkova, Lindsay Lohan, Megan Fox, models, movies, politicians, Samantha Ronson, upskirt shots, Winona Ryder
Leave a comment
Longoria No-whore-ia
Oh, we're sure this happens to everybody. It's Friday night, you're feeling a little lonely, you somehow find yourself in front of your computer browsing an online escort service and you see her. The girl of your dreams! Available for around $2500! You've seen her on Desperate Housewives, you've seen her on the sidelines of [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Leave a comment
Eva Longoria Full of Sandwiches; Not Babies
Former underwear model/full-time pygmy shrew Eva Longoria fueled ongoing pregnancy rumors this weekend when she hung around Las Vegas in a dumpy tent dress, eschewing alcohol and sushi. But you can all stop looking at the Petit Tresor website and turn your bump watch radars down to a yellow alert, because Eva insists she's not [...]
Eva Longoria Used To Wear Underwear. Or Something.
Are you a gay male aged 35 to 45 who loves nothing more than to take a few swigs of your Chablis and yell "You go, girl!" (or whatever the 2008 equivalent may be) at the TV screen every time Eva Longoria does something catty or backhanded on Desperate Housewives? Good, because that is pretty [...]
We Can See Right Through You, Eva Longoria
We know our readers. If our comments are to be believed, they all live in, we're guessing, India, have a minimal grasp on the English language, and love "soxy woman," "bobbs," and "neeples." We are here to serve you, oh semi-literate foreign lover of flesh. So we know that you do not want to hear [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Heidi Christ, Superstar
ï Reality show star/monster Heidi Montag promises to make a Christian album, compares herself to Jesus. "Because we both have really shiny hair and heal leopards," Heidi says. "That's what the poor people with zits are called, right?" (Yeeeah!)
ï Katherine Heigl downblouse cleavage shot. By the by, why is the term downblouse? What [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged Anne Hathaway, Cameron Diaz, celebrity gay rumors, Eddie Murphy, Heidi Montag, Katherine Heigl, Lindsay Lohan, music, nip slips, plastic surgery rumors, Samantha Ronson, tattoos, Zooey Deschanel
Leave a comment
CNW Junk Drawer: Rhys Is in Pieces
ï Sienna Miller finally cuts loose her improbably-named, leonine lover Rhys Ifans. (CeleBuzz)
ï Angry whelp Miley Cyrus wrecks equipment on the set of her new video. "Grrrr! I'm so mad! Like a bear! Grrr! Like a fluffy bear! With a bow around its neck! Grrr . . . awwww." (Drunken Stepfather)
ï Kim Kardashian [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged Ashley Tisdale, booze, Carmen Electra, celeb engagements/weddings, celebrity breakups, celebrity hookups, celebrity pregnancies, Charlie Sheen, Gillian Anderson, Gina Gershon, Kim Kardashian, Lily Allen, Miley Cyrus, music, music videos, Rhys Ifans, Sienna Miller, Vanessa Minnillo
Leave a comment