We’re a bit behind the times on this one, mostly because we’ve been a little preoccupied with naked Harry Potter and imagining Portia and Ellen’s honeypot-humping honeymoon and all, but apparently Ernest Borgnine likes to beat off. A lot. And he claims that’s the secret to his long, prosperous life. So you heard it straight from the mouth of Marty himself: unsheathing the old beef bayonet as often as possible will help you live till your nineties. Unless of course you spend a lot of time perusing the aisles of Wal-Mart and decide to choke the chicken there. That’s more the secret to a long, prosperous jail term.