Tag Archives: drugs
Lilo and Greasy Hit the John for Fun
This morning we woke up and felt like something was missing in our lives. Something large and clammy and teeming with riches. Then we sparked up the old computer and lo and behold, a big fat pouty meatball named Brandon Davis was back in our lives! X17 has pictures and a video of Greasy Bear [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Slurping Up with the Kardashian
Kim Kardashian suckles the ’sicle. (IDLYITW)
Sofia Vergara nude pics. She used to date Tom Cruise. Hahahaha! That’s funny. (Cityrag)
Johnny Depp offers to help bail Nicolas Cage out of his money trouble. Because he’s Johnny Depp, and he’s a nice person, a good father, an excellent actor, and his breath probably smells like honeysuckle. (Celebitchy)
Harry Pothead [...]
Michael Lohan Is a Really Great Dad
You’ve got to hand it to Michael Lohan; it takes another-level type douchebag to make Dina Lohan look like the sensible parent. But even though Dina is the next incarnation of Jaid Barrymore, she can always count on Michael threatening to kidnap their kids to make her look good less abhorrent. According to The San [...]
Whitney Houston Wrangles Boobs After Daring Escape Attempt
Whitney Houston is back! She’s got a new album, a new Oprah interview, and she’s done sucking the glass wiener. Wait, scratch that. America’s most beloved dootie bubble factory performed last night on the Simon Cowell talent show X Factor. And her tits nearly popped out of her dress while she sounded like your cousin [...]
Blame It on the Benzos
Let’s check in on Life as Delusion starring Michael Lohan, shall we? When we last left our publicity-hungry leading man, he was calling Lindsay-schtupper Sam Ronson the reincarnation of Hitler or something. Now he’s blaming his offspring’s troubles on goofballs. And we’re not talking Jim J. Bullock. Dear old dad said:
I’m going to get her [...]
Riiiiiight.
This is like those douchebags at Rainbo with the Journey t-shirts and the mustaches, right? She thinks she’s funny? Because we can’t really explain this otherwise. But no matter, we think she’s missed the mark. Because while she IS sending a very important message to the children about how to live their lives, that message [...]
RIPDJAM
Professional player of records DJ AM (real name Adam Goldstein) died this weekend of an apparent drug overdose. The news was released Friday night, but we didn’t report on it till now because writing words is work! And work is hard! But like your estranged father two weeks after your tenth birthday, we’re here now, [...]
She’s in the Army Rehab Now
There are many, many things we don’t understand about celebrities. But we do understand that according to the basic definition of the word they are human. They live, they breathe, they eat (sometimes), they shit, and some of them are troubled. Troubled by their love of Johnnie Walker or a crack pipe. We’re not sure [...]
Michael Jackson Hit by Smooth Criminal, Officially
Good morning. It’s August 25, 2009 and Michael Jackson is still dead. Not only is he dead, he was MURDERED! It’s official. His death has been ruled a homicide. The L.A. Times reports:
L.A. County coroner’s officials found lethal levels of the powerful anesthetic propofol after examining Michael Jackson’s body.
Jackson’s doctor, Conrad Murray, told detectives . [...]