Tag Archives: drugs
Michael Lohan Is a Really Great Dad
You’ve got to hand it to Michael Lohan; it takes another-level type douchebag to make Dina Lohan look like the sensible parent. But even though Dina is the next incarnation of Jaid Barrymore, she can always count on Michael threatening to kidnap their kids to make her look good less abhorrent. According to The San [...]
Whitney Houston Wrangles Boobs After Daring Escape Attempt
Whitney Houston is back! She’s got a new album, a new Oprah interview, and she’s done sucking the glass wiener. Wait, scratch that. America’s most beloved dootie bubble factory performed last night on the Simon Cowell talent show X Factor. And her tits nearly popped out of her dress while she sounded like your cousin [...]
Blame It on the Benzos
Let’s check in on Life as Delusion starring Michael Lohan, shall we? When we last left our publicity-hungry leading man, he was calling Lindsay-schtupper Sam Ronson the reincarnation of Hitler or something. Now he’s blaming his offspring’s troubles on goofballs. And we’re not talking Jim J. Bullock. Dear old dad said:
I’m going to get her [...]
Riiiiiight.
This is like those douchebags at Rainbo with the Journey t-shirts and the mustaches, right? She thinks she’s funny? Because we can’t really explain this otherwise. But no matter, we think she’s missed the mark. Because while she IS sending a very important message to the children about how to live their lives, that message [...]
RIPDJAM
Professional player of records DJ AM (real name Adam Goldstein) died this weekend of an apparent drug overdose. The news was released Friday night, but we didn’t report on it till now because writing words is work! And work is hard! But like your estranged father two weeks after your tenth birthday, we’re here now, [...]
She’s in the Army Rehab Now
There are many, many things we don’t understand about celebrities. But we do understand that according to the basic definition of the word they are human. They live, they breathe, they eat (sometimes), they shit, and some of them are troubled. Troubled by their love of Johnnie Walker or a crack pipe. We’re not sure [...]
Michael Jackson Hit by Smooth Criminal, Officially
Good morning. It’s August 25, 2009 and Michael Jackson is still dead. Not only is he dead, he was MURDERED! It’s official. His death has been ruled a homicide. The L.A. Times reports:
L.A. County coroner’s officials found lethal levels of the powerful anesthetic propofol after examining Michael Jackson’s body.
Jackson’s doctor, Conrad Murray, told detectives . [...]
Getting McSteamy with Gayheart and Some Broad
This story hit yesterday, but we were waiting for Fleshbot to post the whole thing. It’s up (link sooo NSFW), so here goes. A sex tape leaked to the internet featuring Noxema girl/Antonia Marchette/kid-killer Rebecca Gayheart, former Miss USA/Celebrity Rehab contestant Kari Ann Peniche, and Rebecca’s husband McSteamy, aka Eric Dane. Oh, wait. Sorry. Not [...]
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Also tagged celebrity nudity, Celebrity Sex Tapes, Eric Dane, Kari Ann Peniche, Rebecca Gayheart
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Brad Pitt Gives up the Weeeeeeeeed
You’re totally jealous of Brad Pitt, right? He’s rich and famous and powerful and has lots of motorcycles and gets to stick his thingy inside of Angelina Jolie. Sounds pretty great. But don’t be jealous, man. You’ve got one thing on him. At least you can smoke the weed if you want to. Except when [...]