Dita Von Teese is getting plenty of play, thank you very much!

Despite recently telling a British tabloid that she went celibate for awhile after splitting from her ex-husband, shock-rocker Marilyn Manson, Von Teese now admits she was only joking.

"All my friends [saw that] and were like, What?" the burlesque beauty told us last night at the Beverly Hills launch party for Amanda Eliasch's new book, Cloak & Dagger Butterfly. "I just thought it was funny to say at the time."

She added with a laugh, "I'm pretty sure it's safe for you to report that I've had sex by now."

Pretending she's not getting stuffed with the tug mutton when she really is? She's like the new Britney Spears. Or Clay Aiken. (Yeah, that joke just isn't as satisfying now that Clay's out of the closet. But what are you gonna do?)

ï Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber have a new baby boy. Mazel and tov to that. (Daily Stab)

ï Lily Allen sings "Womanizer". Nice, but we'd really like to hear her "Real Talk". (IDLYITW)

ï Rihanna's cleavage looks fake. Or pregnant. Or fake pregnant. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï From the "life sucks and is totally unfair, screw you Jesus" files: Peter Falk has Alzheimer's. (The Blemish)

ï Hugh Hefner's new girlfriend: young, Ukrainian, brunette. showing us her buttocks. (Anything Hollywood)

ï Kate Winslet is prettier than you. (F-listed)

ï Shenae Grimes, just two sniffs short of KateMossVille. (Evil Beet)

ï Katie Price likens Dita Von Teese's Playboy cover to BM. (Holy Moly)

Dita Von Teese has vowed never to have sex with Russell Brand. The burlesque beauty has been pursued by the British comic star since they met in Los Angeles earlier this year, but quickly learned to ignore his calls asking her out.The 35-year-old brunette said: "I will not be having sex with Russell Brand. I was the subject of one of his calls once, but I didn't answer the phone, thank goodness. Just because I gave him my phone number doesn't mean I'll be going on a date with him."

One has to wonder how this woman defines her boundaries. She won't accept Russell Brand's penis into her vagina but will marry Marilyn Manson. That's like refusing to drink from a colostomy bag but baking a birthday cake out of maggots.

More hot pics of Dita von Teese are at MrSkin.com.

ï Chelsea Handler may be posing nude for Playboy, because she's so popular and everyone likes her show, right? (Yeeeah!)

ï Pete Wentz tries to explain his and Ashlee's choice of the name Bronx Mowgli. "We're retarded" is a good start. (Pop on the Pop)

ï Mariah Carey refused to drink a glass of champagne. In the celebrity bump watch world, that's pretty much on the same level as the baby crowning. (Anything Hollywood)

ï Dita von Teese naked in German Playboy. That isn't much of a teese. (Celebitchy)

ï Average joes weigh in: who'd you most like to see in a lesbian scene? The answers may astound you. (Mr. Skin)

ï Megan Fox claims that she looks like Ted Nugent in a wig. Wang dang! Sweet poontang. (Digital Spy)

ï Even more photos of Britney Spears looking hot hot hooootttttttttt in Rolling Stone. Hooooootttttt. Hot. (Allie Is Wired)

ï Cleavage-bearing Rihanna in her usual robo-Gene Simmons wear. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Karolina Kurkova's missing belly button: another mystery solved. Thanks, Encyclopedia Brown! (CelebWarship)

“I’ve found my double, my twin, with my new girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood. She’s 19 and certainly that’s very young but that’s not a problem for me. She likes the same things as me. She understands I like to get up when night falls and go to sleep at dawn.”

Of course there would be many, many interests that would overlap when you’re talking about a 19-year-old girl and a 38-year-old man. Lip Smackers gloss, watching The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll, choreographing dances to Kelly Clarkson songs with friends, texting, figuring out how to sneak a Pomtini at Ruby Tuesday, and giving your dad the finger behind the safety of your locked bedroom door.

Of his desecrated marriage with Von Teese, Manson also revealed,

“Our relationship ended at Halloween. I was completely destroyed psychologically. I’d rented a house and begun working on this disc, which sort of tells everything that happened to me during the past year. I was married to someone who wanted me to change. Become more adult, more responsible. I began not to like myself, not like what I do. I lost my identity. Everything began collapsing around me. The record allowed me to put an end to that. Dita left at Christmas while I was recording.”

Stupid old lady wife, makin’ me clean up my Crowley playset and yellin’ at me for drinking goat blood out of the carton. Haw, that funny, sad little clown. Look for Manson to soon be tooling around the greater Los Angeles area in a red Mazda Miata with a combover dyed Nice and Easy Blue-Black.

Rob Evan’s cradle at MrSkin.com.

Or dig into the sophisticated Miz Teese.

The sources say his relationship with the Thirteen actress was a factor in the Dec. 29 divorce filing by Dita Von Teese, 34, Manson's wife of one year.

"Dita is heartbroken, she didn't see this coming," says a source close to the burlesque dancer and MAC cosmetics model. "His partying contributed to the split as well."

Manson, 38, and Wood have been friends for some time. According to his official Web site, Manson first met Wood when he asked her to be in his upcoming horror film, Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll.

In addition, she posed for a watercolor that he painted, and attended the opening of his new Hollywood art gallery, the Celebritarian Corporation Gallery of Fine Art, last Halloween.

"It came as kind of a shock," Wood told Rolling Stone about being asked to pose. "I was beyond flattered."

Manson, who is currently in Paris, was unavailable for comment. A rep for Wood would not confirm the relationship. A spokeswoman for Von Teese did not return calls for comment.

We are having a very hard time believing a young and nubile little blossom of nineteen even knows who Marilyn Manson is. Then again, if you are a born-after-1985er and want to really stick it to your parents in these modern times, you have to date a member of Blink-182 or Towers of London or the like. With all the Maddens successfully paired off and Pete Doherty otherwise occupied with all matters Mossian, poor Evan had no other recourse but to cold kick it old school.

Oh, and to reiterate:

Marilyn Manson:

Marilyn Manson's ladies through the years:

What a waste. Oh the humanity.

Get Von Teesed by Dita at MrSkin.com.

Evan's there, too.

"She really tried to make this work but he's not been responsive. She loved him so much, but he has too many demons. He can't even communicate with her at this point. She tried to tell him she was divorcing him, but she can't even get him on the phone. She moved out of the house and he hasn't even noticed."

And when she says "too many demons," she means it literally. He keeps them as pets. Dita is tired of them trip-trapping around their home with their cloven hooves and leaving diabolical little stools on the flotaki rug.

MrSkin.com's got more Dita for ya. Go take a peek.

Never before has a magazine's name been so apropos. In the new issue, Scarjo and Dita (whose real name is Heather Sweet–doesn't she look exactly like a "Heather Sweet"?) go artsy for this eye-and-leg-opening shoot, doing that whole Marlene Dietrich-Blue Angel-androgynous- girl-on-girl thingie that we like to call "The Weimar Re-pubic Look". And who doesn't enjoy that? We'll tell you who. Miscreants. Miscreants and infidels and ne'er-do-wells.

All the rest of the photos can be found right here.

And dig into more Dita at MrSkin.com.

ScarJo's there as well.