Tag Archives: Dina Lohan
Lindsay Lohan a Genius, Says Mommy
Lindsay Lohan’s parents have very different ideas about who exactly their daughter is. Michael thinks that Lindsay is an out-of-control pill popper in desperate need of help (and maybe a Britney-style conservatorship with Daddy at the reigns—and holding the checkbook?). While Dina thinks that Lindsay is a “genius.” Well, at least they can both agree [...]
Lohans Who Club Together Stay Together
In case her Mother of the Year crown was about to be snatched away by Octomom or Joan Crawford in her grave, Lindsay Lohan's umber-faced progenitor Dina Lohan upped her game recently when she tried to take her underage daughter Aliana out clubbing. Have we learned nothing from Jaid Barrymore? MSNBC reports:
When a 46-year-old mom [...]
Michael Lohan Has a Lot of Class and Tact
Last night, Lindsay Lohan and her father Michael fought to the death. Fought to the death of Lindsay's grandfather, that is. And like any dutiful mourning son, Michael took the opportunity to get his father's affairs in order, think back upon the good times, and plan a moving funeral. Hahahahaha! No, just kidding. We're talking [...]
Dina Lohan Becomes Even More Beautiful
Could the faces of Dina Lohan and Paula Abdul have been molded from the same prototype? Better question: Is either lady willing to divulge the name of their oh-so-proficient doctor? Because they sure are looking gorge.
Lindsay Lohan's Mom Gives Nudie Pics an A+
Everyone had a friend in high school who had a mother like Dina Lohan. She enters the rec room in an impossibly low-cut blouse and whispers, "wanna get stoned?" to her daughter's male friends with her damp Benson and Hedges breath. But those mothers do not have a child whose (pendulous, succulent, masterful) breasts are [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Biel 'Brella Bashes Like Britney
ï Now that it's raining more than ever/know that Biel still hates the paparazzi/You can get beat by her umba-rella/You get beat by her umba-rella, ella, ella, ay, ay, ay. (Egotastic!)
ï Britney Spears pretends she has narcolepsy, which is not an oozing venereal disease, like one might automatically assume. (Yeeeah!)
ï Katie "Jordan" [...]
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Also tagged Britney Spears, Christina Ricci, drugs, Heidi Klum, Jessica Biel, Jessica Simpson, Jordan, Katie Price, paparazzi, Paris Hilton, Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett Johansson, Seal, see-through shots, television
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Lindsay Lohan Can Now Drink Legally, But Maybe Won't
Oh my God. Lindsay. Psst! Lindsay! Listen! Hey! Lindsay! OK, we don't mean to creep you out but, um, there's a reaaaaally gross parasitic creepy-crawly thingie next to you. Don't freak out, don't move! It's to your left. No, your LEFT. Shhh, no, don't let it see your fear! Just take off that gigantic shoe [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Outrageous and Delusional
ï If Christina Aguilera isn't pregnant in her uterus, then she's definitely carrying a set of twins in her cans. Whooo-eeee! (Drunken Stepfather)
ï I know why the caged Tom Sizemore sings. Because meth makes you chipper. (FemaleFirst)
ï What will Paris do, post-jail? Here are some fine ideas on life after incarceration. (Yeeeah!)
ï [...]
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Also tagged celebrity pregnancies, Christina Aguilera, Clay Aiken, drugs, Eva Mendes, jail, Jessica Biel, Justin Timberlake, Lindsay Lohan, movies, Paris Hilton, Scientology, Tom Cruise, Tom Sizemore
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Dina Lohan Runs Low on Cash, Visits Lindsay in Rehab
Dina Lohan is just like any other mother. When her eldest and earningest child gets wise to the fact that normal Hollywood managers don't take a 40% cut of their clients' salaries, she gives her up as a lost cause and turns to exploiting her more gullible and still befreckled and cuddly offspring. But when [...]
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Also tagged celebrity parents, celebs in rehab, Lindsay Lohan
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Georgia Rule #7: Never Let Your Mom Near Your Movie Premiere
Dina Lohan is finally realizing her destiny of becoming the white Oprah. Except her only topical guest is her daughter, whom she'll talk to over and over and over until Lindsay gets mad and yells in Dina's camera, "God, Mom, why don't you get your own life. Don't you have friends who are old like [...]