. . . Our source worked for Cash Warren, her ex, and had to refill her Valtrex prescription for her on a regular basis! Guess who she got it fromÖthatís rightÖdirty Derek Jeter.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Why would Cash's assistant be filling Jessica's prescription? And even more suspiciously, why would Cash Warren, a lowly P.A., have his own assistant? Anyway, herpes isn't really that big a deal. Actually, according to the Valtrex commercials, it involves being in a loving committed relationship with an incredibly hot person and going kayaking and paragliding with them all the time. Herpes rules!

Jessica, in all her glory, is there for your perusal at MrSkin.com.

"Justin is in the middle of his tour right now. But he's planned his time in Sundance meticulously. He's been there since Saturday, even though his movie, Black Snake Moan, didn't premiere until Wednesday. His whole family, including his mom (who celebrated her birthday with him in Vegas on Friday), has been with Justin in Park City while he took this mini-vacation."

And, on Thursday, Timberlake got a very special visitor in the form of hot new hookup Biel, who does not have a movie screening at the film festival.

The pair first ignited their flame on this night and then reignited their flirtation on this now legendary evening.

Now that Jessica has ended her relationship with Derek Jeter, she heated things up with Justin in frigid Sundance.

"Jessica was picked up in her chauffer-driven Volkswagen Touareg car and instantly went to visit Timberlake when she got into Park City," says a source.

And, in typical Biel and Timberlake fashion, the atheletic twosome even spent time snowboarding together on Thursday, a Biel insider reveals to us.

Now, we're not exactly internationally beloved pop music superstars with golden curls, a winning smile, and several million in the bank, but we can assure you that, were we ever to land a tomato as classy and pneumatic as Ms. Biel, we would dispatch our driver in a vehicle slightly more befitting her status than a Touareg. Then again, perhaps it was the only mode of transportation large enough to house her buns. Oh, that Jessica Biel has a big butt joke! It's got great mileage!

Get yer Biel booty at MrSkin.com.

Mariah Carey, Vanessa Minnillo, and now … Jessica Biel? Apparently, Derek Jeter has snagged yet another high-profile beauty: the Yankee captain and "The Illusionist" star Biel were spotted at Hollywood celeb-boite Hyde Tuesday night. They were "laughing and giggling together," according to Page Six, and Jeter massaged Biel's shoulders, say Rush & Molloy. The couple left the club together, though Jeter has also been spotted in New York the past week without Jessica.

Biel doesn't really fit into the Jeter mold of "multiethnic caramel-skinned ladies with blondish weaves", but she does fit into the every heterosexual man ever mold of "groin-singeingly gigantic ass", so there you go. Although "laughing and giggling" does not a relationship make. Which is a good thing, because nothing makes us laugh more than that Gallagher!

See the real Biel at MrSkin.com.