• Katy Perry nude with some pizza. Extra cheesy! (ONTD)
• One of the Real Housewives of New Jersey (Danielle Staub) has a sex tape. We’re shocked that “NJ housewife sex tape” is a thrilling story. What a world! What a world we live in. (Yeeeah!)
• If you are a bartender and you do not serve a very drunk Jonathan Rhys Meyers, then he is the manager of the Black Eyed Peas and you are Perez Hilton. Only maybe without the weepy YouTube pleas. (The Blemish)
• Lindsay Lohan tried 2 dance with Justin Timberlake and he was like O HELL NO and then she totally got mad and 2 get back @ him she Tweeted he was cheating on Jessica Biel & then she wuz hacked but she wasn’t OMFG! (CelebWarship)
• Stills from Tim Burton’s upcoming Alice in Wonderland movie. It’s not half as creepy as the ’80s TV version with Carol Channing and Ann Jillian. Still gives me the heebies. (Amy Grindhouse)
• Hilary Duff is kind of useless and probably a total choadball, but whatever, she looks hot in a bikini. (Anything Hollywood)
• Jessica Simpson has a new reality show. To quote Nancy Kerrigan, “WHHHHYYYYYYYY?” (Websters)
• Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson have been made into dolls. Dolls that are much more charismatic than their Twilight counterparts. (Daily Stab)
• Here is Denise Richards in a bikini on the beach with a giant parrot. Um, that’s about it. (Drunken Stepfather)

I was 19, and my roommate had the best boobs ever, and she had just had hers done. I was flat as a board, and I thought ëWhoa, you can just buy themí and stupidly had them done!î

After her first operation, she said her breasts looked ìway too big for my body.î So she had a second one.

ìThe next guy put bigger ones in, and it was not good ó they were a D!î she said, adding that her doctor assumed she wanted to look more voluptuous because sheís an actress.

Uhhhhhh. Don't people discuss these things before they go under the knife? The way Denise is telling it, she was unhappy with her huge cans, so she went to a doctor and let him use his artistic vision. "Nurse, put her under. She says she wants 'em smaller. Hm, actress . . . whatever, put in the Ds."

Believe it or not, we had dinner together with all of us. So I love that. … It's important for our daughters to see us get along and to be able to be in the same room. Brooke and I have always gotten along, so obviously when we went through what we were all going through it was what it was. But I think she's great with my girls. They love her. I think anytime you go through a divorce it's such a huge change in your life, and obviously my divorce was very public and it got very nasty. … Charlie and I didn't want that — we didn't want all the conflict and this and that, and that's just was the situation was. I like things very calm and happy.

Well doesn't that just make you want to slap her on the ass and call her Demi Moore? Actually we think that might be what brought on the divorce in the first place. We're just wondering at what point in the meal Charlie implores Denise to go cry to her bald mom? Probably right before the port.

ï Jenny McCarthy and Botox, sitting in a tree. (IMDb)

ï On again/off again couple Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are off again. Until the engagement rumors start, oh, in 5 hours or so. (The Blemish)

ï Katy Perry sexy in Esquire magazine. She's got big chugs and we like it. (Yeeeah!)

ï Chris Brown will not be receiving a Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award, despite him being a terrific role model for children, what with the girlfriend beating and all. (Anything Hollywood)

ï It's rumored that 3 of the Kardashian sisters will get nude in Playboy. Best have a tri-fold cover to house all dat azz. (Faded Youth)

ï Anne Heche gave birth to her second son yesterday. His name is Atlas. Who gave Celestia a copy of 1001 Names for Your Newborn? (Celebitchy)

ï According to the folks at Dancing with the Stars, Denise Richards is a harridan on par with Faye Dunaway mixed with Joan Crawford mixed with Helen Lawson. (Pop on the Pop)

ï Aw. Poor James Franco. Little guy's all tuckered out. Shhh. (CelebWarship)

ï Angelina Jolie says she's "still just a punk kid with tattoos". She went on to say, "Seriously, I saw Youth of Today four times and I own the Infest Slave LP on colored vinyl." (Fatback)

ï Adriana Lima's juggtacular bra commercials! (Cityrag)

ï Star says Jennifer Aniston is pregnant with twins. We say Star is pregnant with twin turds; i.e. full of shit. (Celebitchy)

ï Britney Spears is on the cover of Cosmo. So you can ogle her weave while reading about the 10 tantric orgasm tips that will drive his nads wild. (Bitten and Bound)

ï AnnaLynne McCord has 4 capital letters in her name. She also has a lesbian kiss. See video! (Drunken Stepfather)

ï LIndsay Lohan gets dumped in favor of Denise Richards. Ow, that's gotta smart. (Yeeeah!)

ï Amy Wino's rodent-like spouse has been released from prison. It's going to be a very cracky Christmas. (Hollywood Gossip)

ï Heidi Klum takes those old records off the shelf. And those shirts off her shelf. (Seriously OMG WTF)

ìMy kids are in therapy. Itís very sad that they need to be there, but they do for now. On the other hand, itís good they have an outlet to deal with their feelings and someone who is just their advocate.î

We're not sure what a three- and four-year-old actually do in therapy. Usually when kids that young see a professional, they use dolls to act out their feelings. Though we're not sure how the psychologist will react to the little Richards-Sheen moppets making the teddy bear say "prostitute-tranny-infested sperm." And we doubt there is any doll available that looks the part of Daddy's passel of hookers. Oh, wait. Bratz.

MILFy Miss Denise gets naked at MrSkin.com. You knew that.

Denise Richards is considering another romp for Playboy magazine.

The sexy star bared all for the men’s magazine in 2004 and now her marriage to Charlie Sheen is over, the actress is thinking about making a return.

She tells AOL.com, “It’s still a possibility. It’s so iconic and fun.”

And Richards admits she quite liked the attention she got after posing naked for the publication four years ago.

She adds, “I think that my niche is as a sex symbol. I’m never going to be the girl next door, so why not play up my niche?”

Holy shit, she’s planning on showing her niche? That’s awesome. We thought we’d only get tits.

And to verify that Denise likes you looking at her hooters, here she is admiring herself on MrSkin.com:

Can’t wait for Denise to pose for Playboy again? Head over to MrSkin.com and see her naked right now.

DENISE Richards is lashing back at her ex, Charlie Sheen, over the ugly accusations made by his friends on Page Six yesterday.

Sheen branded her a liar and claimed she sent his fiancee, Brooke Mueller, an e-mail asking him for his sperm so she could have another kid. Now Richards, in town to promote her E! reality show "It's Complicated," tells us:

"For him to slam me saying I'm exploiting the kids, well, he's exploited our entire situation," Richards fumed to us yesterday. She claims Sheen obsessively sends her rage-filled text messages.
"Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he's going to Family Day [for daughter Sam's school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold," Richards said. "His response was, 'I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.' My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis.

"He missed Dad's day at the school and my father had to go in his place. And this is how he talks to me?"

Richards claims the e-mails sent to Mueller were fakes: "I don't want Charlie's prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We'll leave it at that. I am so over him. He's the one who can't move on. He's disgusting and he's hit an all-time low."

But Sheen is taking it to the mat – or rather, a computer DNA expert – to prove Richards is lying.

Sheen's rep said, "Denise seems to be denying the existence of [the] e-mail. This goes beyond a he-said-she-said. We have an offer from a [live] TV show. They will bring a computer expert to diagnose the e-mail and to verify it was sent by her e-mail address and to verify it was neither altered nor edited. Computer DNA – it is conclusive.

"The only time Charlie has spoken on TV about her, they were sound bites at red-carpet visits or during set visits," the rep said. "He has not gone on multiple TV shows this week."

We've got a question for you, Denise. If Charlie's sperm is "prostitute-tranny-infested" what does that say about your daughters? It's not like Charlie was as virginal as Gary Coleman before you snagged him and only started paying for play after you split. Nu-unh, honey. Chuckie had been dipping his wick into every expensive-ass ho in L.A. for decades. So does this mean that when you sit Sam and Lola down for the "where do babies come from" talk (in front of an E! camera crew, natch) that you'll explain not that they're made of sugar and spice and everything nice but of one part mommy, one part daddy, and a hearty dash of transgendered streetwalker?


Denise, naked and Sheen free, at MrSkin.com.

DENISE Richards is a big liar, claim Charlie Sheen's pals – one of whom says she "gets more than enough money from Charlie to never have to work, much less do a reality show that exploits the kids."

Sheen and his friends are furious that Richards taped a reality show debuting this weekend on E! called "It's Complicated," which also features the warring ex-couple's two daughters, Lola and Sam.

In her bid to promote the show, Richards went on "Today," "The View" and "Larry King Live" to explain she did it to make money to support her children.

But, "Denise gets $52,000 a month tax-free in child support," a Sheen insider fumed. "Most people in America can figure out how to live on that, but Denise can't?"

In addition to the child support, Richards got $60,000 a month (also tax-free) for two years in alimony – adding up to a whopping $1.44 million. Richards also gets a chunk of Sheen's hot sitcom, "Two and a Half Men," which "eventually will net her up to $25 million," the source said.

But big hunks of cash aren't the only thing Denise wants from Charlie. According to The New York Daily News:

Sheen's ex Denise Richards denied on "Larry King" Tuesday that she'd ever asked Sheen, father of her two children, for a sperm donation after their breakup. Wednesday, the "Two and a Half Men" star countered by distributing to us and others in the media a copy of an e-mail he said Richards sent to his fiancÈe, Brooke Mueller, on the subject in April 2007.

"I will no longer sit back and be egregiously painted as a liar," Sheen said. "The mere fact that she continues to publicly discuss and harass both Brooke and me three years after our separation, which for the record is longer than the actual length of the marriage, is beyond desperate and speaks volumes."

The e-mail, Sheen claims, reads:

"Dear Brooke, I don't want to have a baby with Charlie. I am having a baby in the next year. By myself … my girlfriend suggested Charlie be the donor. So, I did bring this up to him. There are so many couples having unhealthy children. Charlie and I have very beautiful healthy children together. I was strictly looking for a sperm donor, if it's any of your business. If it were him, I said we would sign a document that he couldn't come after me and I couldn't come after him … this wasn't to have sex with him, it was him donating … that's it. "

After Richards told Matt Lauer on "Today" yesterday that the e-mail was a fake, Sheen challenged: "If any proof can be established that these are not in fact her words and statements verbatim, I openly invite her and would even encourage Ms. Richards to sue me in a court of law."

This is why you have to think ahead, ladies. Waiting for the man to willingly give up his jizz is so twentieth century. The new millennium is all about rooting through the trash for used condoms and stowing them in the freezer, just in case.


Before she was a Sheen, Denise showed her beans at MrSkin.com.