Tag Archives: Demi Moore
Demi Moore or High-School Art Teacher?
After we finished painting our apartment, we noticed a woman with a really nice manicure and Gucci sunglasses pull our paint-spattered drop cloth out of the trash. And since rich ladies rummage through our trash all the time, we didn't think anything of it until we saw this picture of Demi Moore. Girl is resourceful. [...]
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Demi Moore Gets Replaced
Admittedly we haven't been paying too much attention to Demi Moore and her child bride lately, and when we do catch a glimpse of them our eyes are usually drawn to the Kutch's stylishly messy hair or "I'm too busy and important to shave" stubble. So forgive us for missing this, but when was the [...]
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Demi Moore Tells Ashton Kutcher to Clean Up Toys, Take Out Trash, Do Homework
Ashton Kutcher is reportedly growing increasingly frustrated in his marriage to Demi Moore, and her constant bossing and nagging. Well, when you marry a mom sixteen years your senior, you tend to not wind up with the nonstop barrage of super hot intercourse, threesomes, and late night partying like one might expect.
Demi Moore Demi-Preg
Extra is reporting that Ashton Kutcher's strapping, virile, ruddy-cheeked sperm have successfully spelunked the cobwebby, hoary old womb located inside of fossil bride Demi Moore! Baby joy! Baby bump! And so forth! We've had our emotions toyed with in a similar fashion before, however, so we're not going to start crocheting Demi a fleet of [...]
A Kutcher Ain't Nothin' But a Manpurse
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher seem to have disappeared off the face of the planet following their September 2005 nuptials. In a new interview with Details, Ashton gives some insights into what exactly it is that he's been up to for the past year. And it seems that what he's been up to is accessorizing. [...]
Firecrotch Meets G.I. Jane
Lindsay: Hey, Demi, what do you usually look like while you're having sex with Kutch?
Demi: Glaaaahhhhh . . . zzzzzzz.
Lindsay: God, even Wilmer was better than that, and he barely even knew where to stick it in.
Demi Moore's Child Bride Earns His Keep
Ashton Kutcher is desperate to inseminate his nanna/wife, Demi Moore. (Because celebrities never want to simply pass on their DNA or have an excuse to buy a Louis Vuitton diaper bag; they're positively desperate for a baby.) He's even abandoning his duties as nerd matchmaker to make it happen. At least he's neglecting Beauty and [...]
What's the Point of Bedding Famous Ladies If You Can't Brag About It?
When Wilmer Valderrama went on Howard Stern and rated all the famous trim he'd had the pleasure of Fezzing over the years, everybody rolled their eyes. Just another sad little tiny-crotched rooster fluffing up his feathers and waggling his sad little comb. After all, playing a lisping foreign dude on a dead-horse FOX show, doing [...]
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Also tagged Denise Richards, Heather Locklear, Howard Stern, John Stamos, Rebecca Romijn
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Moore Baby Rumors for Demi and Ashton
Just the other day we were wondering what happened to Demi Moore. Is she getting another complete surgical overhaul? Is she busy training Ashton to do her bidding? Is she cutting a Latin-tinged Kabbalah record? After a lot of soul searching, we decided that she must be carefully and gently incubating a baby under the [...]