NBC Hates Knockers, Puppies

Agent E. — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 17:23:22 +0000

It's like NBC doesn't even want people to watch their stinky old channel. First they insist on keeping both Joey and Will and Grace on the air despite nary a laugh to be heard. Now they won't let Pamela Anderson dance around a pole while wearing pasties because it will hurt the poor little children. If they think that will hurt the kiddies, wait till our army of undersexed pervy old men take to the streets and start beating the kids with baseball bats because they're so irate over not being able to see the better part of Pamela Anderson's breasts on prime-time television without turning on Fox. That will really hurt.

Even though Elton John has no need for any of the lady parts further south, he appreciates a nice pair of man-made boobies, such as those residing on Pamela Anderson's chest. So he decided to sing "The Bitch Is Back" while Pammie danced suggestively around a pole and David LaChapelle filmed it. And it was supposed to be part of an NBC musical special on Monday night. Ye old gagonza haters at NBC said, "We believed the content was not appropriate for 8 p.m. ET/7 p.m. CT and decided to pull the song from the special." Thankfully our perv-minded brethren at The Superficial pointed us over to LaChapelle's official website, where you can view the segment for yourself. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good mam. Jeez, we give you Pam Anderson greasing a pole and a couple of wayward nips, and you still want more? Fine. Take a look at Pam peeing herself and letting half her ass hang out at a party (via I Don't Like You in that Way). Happy now?

More nudie bird Pam at MrSkin.com.

Jessica and Ashlee Simpson Get Krump'd

Agent E. — Thu, 08 Sep 2005 17:48:53 +0000

Donít fuck with the dude who directed that Burger King commercial with Hootie. Heíll cut you. Or claim that your dirty, skanky family is the blight of humanity. Either way.

So hereís what happened: Celebrity photographer/clown lover David LaChapelle wanted to photograph Jessica and Ashlee Simpson for the cover of Rolling Stone, but the Simpsons refused to work with him. A source from the girlsí side said, "When you do a cover with your sister, you both want to look like who you are. David doesn't have that skill. The girls were looking for a photographer who wasn't a one-trick pony. He's good at what he does, but that's it." A one-trick pony? That hardly describes a man who has documented inner-city dance-offs and Tom Jones. LaChapelle was not pleased with the snub and went on a tirade to The New York Daily News: "They're everything that's wrong with music. Out of everything combined, they're everything wrong with culture, and everything wrong with art, and what we think of as art and musical culture–in one family! They're nothing. They have nothing. They hold no interest whatsoever for anybody. They're reality-red-carpet, lip-synching television stars. I don't know what they are beyond that. I don't think they offer anything." Well, Jessica for one offers huge hooters and short shorts. Thereís that. Plus, we think itís a little unfair to place all the blame for the downfall of humanity and the desecration of the art of music on the Simpsons. Thereís still Britney. And Hilary. And Paris will have a record out soon. And this picture of LaChapelle proves that he may be contributing just a wee bit to the ills of the world.

Check out what Jessica has to offer at MrSkin.com.

CelebNewsWire» David LaChapelle Archives – CelebNewsWire

NBC Hates Knockers, Puppies

Jessica and Ashlee Simpson Get Krump'd