It looks like the credit crunch is hitting the celebrity world as well as us mere mortals, with the Beckhams, Miley Cyrus and Joan Collins all been hit my the economic crisis.

Football's golden couple, David and Victoria Beckham may make millions ever year from Brand Beckham but they are not immune to the problems in the housing market. The couple have had to slash the price of their Madrid home after the £6.5 million mansion has been on the market for 17 months and has yet to sell.

The Beckhams are not alone. Supermodel Gisele B¸ndchen has also cut the asking price of her Manhattan penthouse from $10.9m (around £5.5m) to a paltry $5.9m (around £3m).

Former Dynasty actress Joan Collins was once the highest paid actress on television. But she was spotted last week doing her weekly food shop in American discount supermarket, Target. However she did then load her carrier bags into a Rolls Royce, which we're sure fitted in with the other cars in the car park!

Disney's teenage superstar Miley Cyrus has had her credit card confiscated by her mum after overspending. Your heart bleeds doesn't it.

Man, we really feel for these people. Where is their economic bailout package? Shouldn't there be some sort of provision in the Constitution that says that middle Americans are required by law to buy the products of the rich and famous in tough economic times so that they do not have to do the unthinkable, like switch from Cristal to Veuve Clicquot? Louis Vuitton to Coach? (Yes, we know that only one of the people mentioned in American. Just roll with it, people.)

Victoria and David Beckham are set to be turned into superheroes.

Stan Lee, the legend behind comic books including 'Spider-Man' and 'Fantastic Four', thinks the soccer player and his former Spice Girls star wife would be perfect candidates for his next publication.

He said: "I recently got this wild idea – everyone's heard of David and Victoria Beckham, right? They're great looking, talented and colourful. Now, here's the exciting part, just imagine how cool they'd be in a humorous, good-natured show that depicts them as, you guessed it – superheroes!"

Stan, who also revealed he is keen to immortalise Beatles legend Ringo Starr, hotel heiress Paris Hilton and Playboy founder Hugh Hefner in comic book form, enjoys conjuring up alter egos for the world's biggest stars.

He added to US TV show 'Access Hollywood': "I get a real kick out of working with fun celebrities and exploring the exciting possibilities of their secret superhero selves. If they'll just say the word, nothing could be more natural than including David and Victoria in our riotous roster of superhero stars!"

Stan Lee may be old, but we bet he's still on the cutting edge of pop culture and not afraid of being provocative. So we're assuming that Becks' special power will involve the gigantic bulge in his Armani undies. And Posh's superpower, of course, will be maintaining normal organ functions on 67 calories a day.


See Victoria Beckham's sexy side at MrSkin.com.

Nobody likes falling victim to birds' mess dropping on them from above – even though it is supposed to bring good luck.

But for Victoria and David Beckham it is more a case of bird poo bringing them a good look, rather than good luck.

Victoria, who has long battled problem skin, puts her new clear complexion down to a bizarre new beauty regime involving bird poo.

And it seems David has been getting involved too.

It has emerged that the stylish couple have been indulging in beauty treatments to improve their skin.

Victoria, 34, has been regularly indulging in £100 Geisha Facials, using a paste made from nightingale droppings, to combat acne she has suffered since her teens.

A pal told Closer magazine: 'When Victoria was in Japan recently she was admiring the local womenís clear skin and discovered it was down to these facials.

'She was intrigued and when she got back to the US she found that some New York beauty salons now offer the treatment.

'She tried it and loved how great her skin looked. She also uses a cream derived from nightingale poo at home.'

We've been down a similar road, with stories of Wino and Vanessa Williams trickling the tinkle on their visages. But bird poop seems a bit extreme. These sorts of stories always make us imagine the discovery of the magical properties of such a substance. "Hey, Paw, c'mere. I done got a zit on my face. What'mi gonna do?" "Aw don worry, I jus sawr a bird shit in the field ov'r thar. Stick yer face in it and that thing'll clear right up."

ï Eva Longoria and her husband want to invite Posh and Becks over for a foursome. A foursome consisting of slow and sensual games of Cootie! and Mousetrap. (Female Foist)

ï Debbie Gibson got a restraining order against her stalker, who sounds like a real Electric Douche. Haw haw haw! (Celebitchy)

ï "Deer dairy. today i went down and used the terlet at the Cogo's on wilshur bulevard. i plum fergoted my pantys inside! then i pixed up a parperp pupozee parparotzy man and kissed on him. rainbows r pritty!!!!!111" Britney Spears has video diaries and they may be released, woo hoo! (Hollywire)

ï John Mayer's body is a wonderland. A wonderland of cliche tattoos like koi fish and waves and blooming flowers. (Cityrag)

ï Elisha Cuthbert puts down cigarette long enough to grab her own tit in Maxim. (F-listed)

ï Evan Rachel Wood's transformation into boyfriend Marilyn Manson is complete. Excellent. Release the bats! (CelebWarship)

ï Bret Michaels says that "My hair is combined of my hair and the finest extensions Europe has to offer." And all this time we thought it was Britney's castoff weaveage sewn onto a bandanna. (ONTD)

ï Pictures of Pete Doherty in jail. Hair product fashioned out of leftover butter pats. (Dlisted)

A new book by Princess Diana's biographer makes some astonishing claims about Tom Cruise and the hold that Scientology has over every aspect of his life.

In Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography, Andrew Morton launches an extraordinary attack on the Top Gun star ó and on those closest to him, including his little daughter, Suri.

The U.K.'s Daily Mail has revealed some of the more scandalous allegations that Morton makes in the book:

* Tom's daughter with Katie Holmes, Suri, was conceived like Rosemary's Baby, a film "in which an unsuspecting young woman is impregnated with the Devil's child." Morton claims that some "fanatical" Scientologists believe that Suri is the result of a sperm donation by Scientology's dead founder, L. Ron Hubbard.

* Morton implies that Scientology executives contributed to the failure of Tom's marriage to Nicole Kidman. He writes that because Nicole's father was a psychologist (a science said to be frowned upon by the religion) and that she had given an interview emphasizing her roots as a Catholic that she would "compromise Tom's commitment to his faith." When the couple split in 2000, Morton claims that Nicole was worried that she might not be able to see the two children the couple had adopted (Isabella and Conor). He also states that she was worried that her Scientology "audit" tapes, which contained details of her sex life, might be leaked if she spoke out.
* The author says that Penelope Cruz's father, Eduardo, feared that his daughter would be drawn into a "cult" while she dated her Vanilla Sky co-star, and "emailed an organization devoted to helping cult members and their families."

* Morton says that Tom's current mission is to recruit David and Victoria Beckham. The 45-year-old took Scientology leader David Miscavige to a Real Madrid game in 2004 and when the Beckhams moved to Los Angeles in July last year, he threw them a celebratory party.

Tom's longtime lawyer Bert Fields spoke to the Daily Mail about the book, describing it as "a pack of lies." He said that the tome is "poorly researched and badly written, and it's not really even about Tom Cruise ó it's an attack on Scientology." He also said that Morton hasn't spoken to him, Tom's mother, sister, Paula Wagner (Tom's producing partner), his agent, wives, David Beckham, Will Smith, Jennifer Lopez or any of the famous directors he's worked with.

While the book isn't being published in the U.K., readers in the U.S. will have a chance to judge for themselves when it is published Stateside on January 15.

What, that's it? What's so scandalous about that? It doesn't even mention anything about Katie Holmes's contract or about the eighteen-year-old rent boy Tom keeps hidden in the basement (we may have made up that last one, but we have the Mortonian spirit this morning). If you're going to pick a pack of unsubstantiated rumors to populate your trashy book, why not pick the really interesting ones? We already know that Tom is culty crazy number two and that he wants the Beckhams to help his recruiting efforts. This is pretty boring stuff. That's why in our unauthorized Tom Cruise biography (TK as soon as why can find good blackmail material on a Random House staffer, hopefully spring '09) we'll focus on Tom and Katie's sham relationship, her big payoff, and the possibility that either former Katie schtupper Chris Klein or Tommy cousin and Lost creepy William Mapother is actually Suri's dad, with special totally fictional drawings of what we assume Katie's nightly lockdown looks like (a windowless room, leg shackles–which would explain all those wide-legged pants–and an endless supply of celery sticks and Scientological literature).

[Tom Cruise] is obsessed with the wacky religion and believes David would benefit from joining. But Victoria, 32, has ruled it out ó partly because members have to make large, regular cash donations. A source close to the Beckhams said: ìTom spoke to David for hours about Scientology. He feels it could help to lift him out of the blues over his football career. But Victoria is having none of it. She canít see the point of joining something like that where you have to donate money.î

Cruise can beg and plead and promise all the free Jimmy Choos and Botox in his power, but nothing short of hardcore mind control is going to convince Victoria to become a Scientologist. And Tom won't learn that until he reaches OT level VIII.

Peep Vicky B at MrSkin.com.

Or Cruise to Tommy and Becks at MaleStars.com.

"Her exacting demands included £350 of cakes from a local patisserie, ultrathick towels and extra dressing gowns and £1,000 of smart Jo Malone bath scents, plus a full set of Spanish newspapers so her husband could read reports from football matches in his home league.

Anxious staff decorated the hotel's £1,500-a night Beluga suite with £5,000 of orchids, six silver platters of fresh tropical fruit, and lit it with 60 candles. Another £5,000 was spent flying in Italian linen sheets by designer Francesco Calvidini. A butler was put on standby to look after the couple during their two day stay at the west London hotel. They were also offered a chauffeur-driven Porsche Cayenne should they need to venture out."

Furthermore, a hotel staffer said:

"Victoria arrived here with David on Sunday afternoon. We made a massive effort to get ready for them – in total we must have spent around £20,000 preparing for their arrival. Victoria came here to promote her book – she did a series of interviews in her suite. We did everything we could to get it ready. But she was not happy with champagne on ice in her suite – we had stocked it with Ruinart champagne and she insisted on Cristal. She was quite clear that she and David were not happy with anything but Cristal."

While we think that the world does need insane, Prince-like divas who sleep on pure mink sheets and will only bathe in the hot springs of Iceland, Victoria Beckham doesn't really seem to us like a person of such remarkable, God-given talent that her preposterous demands could easily be explained away. She's not really on the Cristal and silver platter level. She's more like generic Ritz and prepackaged pudding cups on a TV tray. With a glass of Riunite on ice.

Get your Posh fix at MrSkin.com.

"I was in the heat of passion and my hair extensions would come out – it was so embarrassing."

Although you won't see us sporting the razor bob or a bronzer bath look any time soon, Posh is known as a tastemaker in her native England. So don't be surprised if a new wave of fetish porn floods the marketplace soon: small, russet-colored women getting enthusiastically hammered on a bed strewn with ratted, synthetic weave chunks gently bouncing to the rhythm of the animalistic coupling.

Get your Posh fix at MrSkin.com.

"When I got to America I phoned Tom. He's a great guy to be able to speak to because he is a very positive-minded person. It is good to have people around you at that point. He talked about everything I had done in the World Cup, about the goal I scored and the goals I set up. He said I was a great player, that I played for Real Madrid, I've got a healthy family and three boys and a wife who love me to bits. He's a great example of someone who stays positive through everything. And that's how I started to get over what had happened with the England news. I got over it that way, with friends around me."

OK, either these two are in deep romantic and sexual love with one another, or David Beckham is just two engrams shy of becoming a full-on, grade-A, certifiable Scientologist? Mark our words. Those Beckhams are easily influenced. And who can resist a good sci-fi story?

Becks handles balls at MaleStars.com.

Tom's there, too!

Despite the latest reports, Victoria and David Beckham are not expecting another child. "She's not pregnant," a rep for the couple tells PEOPLE. "It's as simple as that."
The 31-year-old former English soccer captain had allegedly confirmed to a Spanish video paparazzo that his ex-Spice Girl wife, 32, was pregnant with their fourth child. The couple are already parents to sons Brooklyn, 7, Romeo, 3, and Cruz, 1.
A source tells PEOPLE that Beckham, who plays for the Real Madrid soccer team, was signing autographs and simply misunderstood what the female paparazzo was asking. He thought she was asking, in Spanish, how Victoria and the babies are, when in fact was asking how Victoria and the new baby are doing.

We probably shouldn't be so shocked that David Beckham has absolutely no grasp on the Spanish language. He is married to a woman who has never read a book in her life despite authoring two, after all. But David plays for a Spanish soccer team and owns a home in Spain. Perhaps his Spanish skills originated in the same place as ours–Sesame Street–and he can only say si and agua and count to ten. In which case answering the question of how your wife and new baby are with "yes" makes quite a bit more sense than answering it with "water". Way to go, Becks.

Peruse the female Beckham at MrSkin.com.

Or delight to her hubby at MaleStars.com.