CelebNewsWire» Dave Navarro Archives – CelebNewsWire

CNW Junk Drawer: A Feast Fit for a Bosworth

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 17:38:22 +0000

ï Suri No Middle Name Cruise pictures might finally appear soon . . . in Vanity Fair! Hopefully on the cover, wrapped in swaddling clothes, using Scarlett Johansson's ass crack as a manger.

ï Bryce Dallas Howard is baking up a big batch of baby.

ï Kate Bosworth ate! Ate cigarettes, water, and lettuce. Baby steps, people.

ï Pam from The Office becomes Pam from The Duff-ass.

ï When Janet Jackson wants her water cold, she wants her water cold, dammit. Also, yes, she did feel that pea placed under her 12 mattresses last night.

ï Newly-separated Dave Navarro is dating newly-separated Jenna Jameson. And she's now #1 on his MySpace Top 8, so you know it's love.

ï Jen and Vince: engaged! Whhheeeeeeee! Yayyyyy! Whoooo! Who gives a crap! All riiiiight!

ï Robin Williams is in rehab. Body hair rehab, we hope.

ï Sienna Miller dons dirty pink cowboy boots, a wedding dress, a red Cleopatra wig, and an exposed upskirt cotton panty look. Indeed, she is truly the fashion icon of our time.

'Til Death Yesterday Do Us Part

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 17:50:55 +0000

After months and months of speculation, Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro announced their separation yesterday. It seems that Dave has already moved on and found another love, socialite Sarah Howard, who looks a hell of a lot like Tommy Lee:

Awwwww, ha ha ha ha ha, that IS Tommy Lee! Boy, do you have egg on your face or what?

Annnnyway, Carmen's publicist, Brit Reese, confirmed the separation yesterday, stating that the split was "amicable" yet did not cite any specific reasons. However, Dave's rumored to have been dating the aforementioned Ms. Howard for five months now. A (not particularly articulate) source says:

Carmen is so focused on her career, she doesn't even care. Dave told Sarah it's totally over between him and Carmen. Everybody knows about Dave and Sarah now.

If we were Dave, we wouldn't exactly take that well. Not giving a crap about your marriage because you're too consumed with finding the perfect G-string and lipliner to wear with the Pussycat Dolls, in between shooting a TV movie alongside Tom Arnold and Ed Asner and a feature film opposite Tori Spelling's little brother doesn't exactly speak well of your spouse.

See what Dave will no longer see at MrSkin.com.

Carmen Elsextra

Agent E. — Mon, 06 Feb 2006 17:50:28 +0000

We always thought Carmen Electra had about as many thoughts floating around in her vacant little head as Britney Spears or Victoria Beckham. But it turns out the cogs are churning constantly. It’s just that the only thing she’s mulling over is, “Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.” Must be exhausting.

Our least favorite pseudo-celebrity other than Kimberly Stewart told Loaded magazine, “I once said I think about it every six seconds. So, America thinks I’m sex-crazed. It’s more like eight seconds.” See, America, that’s not much at all. That’s approximately an extra fifteen seconds out of every minute that Carmen has to contemplate the effects of global warming on our ecosystem or the reunification of the two Koreas. Although we’re guessing that Carmen’s eight-second cycles are more likely filled with one second of sex thoughts and seven seconds of “durrrrrrrrrr.” And when you realize that at least a portion of her sexual contemplations are about this tool,

her head seems like the scariest place since Elm Street.

You can think about sex while looking at Carmen at MrSkin.com.

From the Boardroom to the Bedroom with Carmen Electra

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 17:59:39 +0000

So, we were thinking. What's Carmen Electra famous for again? Ah. Wearing very little. Yes, yes. Today, she brings us the joyous news of getting double the wear out of her daytime garments. Like Day-to-Night Barbie. Only sluttier.

Carmen confesses that she sometimes wears her burlesque "work clothes" in the boudoir for her eternally-mired-in-1994 hubby Dave Navarro:

"I kind of feel like, in my profession, I'm sexiest when I'm on stage performing and dancing. I put on lingerie, fishnet stockings, garter belts, bras. So much time and effort goes into pulling an outfit together . . . That's why, when I'm at home, I don't always feel like putting that stuff on. I'm really more of a T-shirt and sweats kind of girl. Wife beaters and sweats. Except for when a fun and romantic moment comes up. Then, obviously, I dig into my bag of costumes. After all, I've got a lot to choose from."

We'd like you all to just sit back for a spell and chew on that thought. Carmen Electra's job is to put on trashy lingerie. She gets paid for that. Instead of donning a rumpled loden suit from the Kathy Ireland Collection with Reeboks, she puts on edible panties and a red sateen push-up bra to put in a hard day at the office. And then she comes home with an Olsen-sized Hermes hobo bag stuffed full of $100 bills, gives it to her husband, and proceeds to load on even more trollopy glad rags for a romantic evening of hot, rich-people anal. Seriously, just think about that.

Carmen, nude and rude at MrSkin.com.