ï Jessica Simpson brings back the Daisy Dukes. Or maybe the Dazzy Duks. Whatever. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï This is what Kid Rock bitchslapped Tommy Lee over. (Hollywood Tuna)

ï Mary-Louise Parker pulls a Madonna. And we don't mean dry-humping Vanilla Ice. (The Blemish)

ï Dave Grohl says that Paris is a "total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut." In similar news, Dave Grohl claims that "bacon tastes real good" and "water is wet". (Celebitchy)

ï Christina Aguilera's baby will never go hungry. (Derek Hail)

ï Sting probably had sex with these hookers. But the question remains: did he have sex with them for ten hours straight? (IDLYITW)

ï Keira Knightley is a big fat sloppy gross lardy gigantic moo cow. (Celeb Warship)