“I couldn’t find my way out and asked someone to show me the door.” He opened the door he was led to, and “there was Courtney Love, sitting on the toilet with her skirt around her ankles.”

Karnaby says he was shocked and slammed the door shut, but that wasn’t enough for Love. He relates, “She stormed out screaming, ‘I am going to get you thrown out!’ She jumped on me, went crazy and dragged me over to security by the arm and claimed that I’d attacked her.

“They were trying to calm her down, but she was out of control. She was like a possessed woman.

“I absolutely did not attack her — I was trying to get away,” Karnaby said. “Thankfully, she’d remembered to pull up her skirt.”

He says security told him, “It’s best you get away as fast as possible.”

“I never wanted to see Courtney Love on the toilet,” he said. “It wasn’t a pretty sight. I just wanted to get out of there.”

We’re really glad that the man told us that Courtney remembered to pull up her skirt. If he hadn’t, we would have assumed that Courtney was beating the man over the head and pulling him toward security with her skirt around her ankles and a wad of TP in her hand. It seems pretty natural.

Courtney Love wants to punch Ryan Adams.

The former Hole singer would not hesitate to attack the 'New York, New York' singer if she ever met him in the street.

Courtney wrote on her MySpace blog: "People i would hit if i saw them: Ryan Adams (sic)."

The 44-year-old singer also lashes out at Ryan' new wife Mandy Moore – who married the alternative musician in March – in the confusing rant, saying she does not understand how Mandy can bear to be intimate with him.

She wrote: "Christ ugh igh ugh Mandy Moore ick the thoufghg of her sticking her toungue downthat filthy hatch…i might as well go watch 'Hostelle' ill feel better), ick, dirty sheets, ick no toothbrush, smelly ass, ick i LOATHE that guy (sic)."

This is not the first time Courtney has made disparaging remarks about Ryan on her blog.

Last year, she accused him of stealing $858,000 from her daughter Frances Bean – who was left the money when her father, Courtney's husband Nirvana star Kurt Cobain, committed suicide in 1994 – to make his 2003 album 'Rock n Roll'.

She wrote at the time: "does that makje youf eel like a big man ? stealing from a suicide? A MARTYRED HERO? … as God Is My Witness Ryan you will pay back every f***ing penny of this. 858,000 dollars for Rock n Roll ? wow you were living large- most people reading this dont even know what record or even artist im referring to , as your just this cult americana wanna be dylan thing.

"your ENTIRE album and meals and drugs and Hotels and outboard gear and wasted fabullous guitars STRAIGHT OUT OF FRANCES"S TRUST FUND (sic)."

This is a nice study in descent into madness. In Court's earlier missive, only one sic was necessary. But the more recent rant was pretty much one big, huge sic, especially the "word" thoufghg. It's kind of like watching Drew Barrymore's Little Edie go from free-spirited Baldwin humper to sleeping on a pile of dead cats and raccoons.

Oh, and Courtney found time recently to buy a new face! We guess all those people she's accused of raiding her coffers left a little something in the pile marked "ill-advised facial mutilations." (More pics of Courtney's new face available at Faded Youth.)

PAMELA Anderson (above) has looked a little down and out lately — maybe for good reason. Courtney Love told us, "Pam Anderson doesn't even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove — which is in Malibu, but it's a trailer park in Malibu." A quick check on the Internet reveals that a double-wide trailer in the park costs around $325,000 — and on the high side, homes are around $1.2 million. The blond bombshell's manager didn't return our e-mails.

You might think that Courtney knows such intimate details of Pam's living situation because the pair is great pals, but you'd be wrong. Our guess is that Courtney's been ringing the doorbells of everyone she's ever known trying to find some of her stolen money. Obviously Pam doesn't have any of it.

COURTNEY Love finally sobered up and realized that some of the people handling Kurt Cobain's estate had lost all the money the Nirvana frontman had left her and their daughter, Frances Bean, her lawyer says.

A team of investigators, forensic accountants and lawyers found that Cobain's estate had been looted of more than $30 million cash and up to $500 million in real estate.

"I have never seen such greed and moral turpitude. This case is going to make Bernard Madoff look warm and fuzzy," Love's lawyer, Rhonda J. Holmes, of Gordon & Holmes in San Diego, told Page Six.

"We will be filing civil cases . . . within the next 30 days. There are many, many millions missing. We've only been able to track down $30 million, but there is more. And then there is the real estate."

According to Holmes, bank accounts using Cobain, Love and Frances Bean's Social Security numbers were set up and used to buy and sell real estate across the US.

"There is now a web of homes which were bought, flipped and used to launder money — up to $500 million worth," Holmes said. "Any of the property we can get back will be donated to people who have lost their homes in foreclosures."

Asked how this could have happened, Holmes said, "Courtney noticed the money was gone when there wasn't any left. It's no secret she struggled with substance-abuse issues, but in the last year she's taken a more serious approach to sobriety and started noticing things were wrong. She hired private investigators, accountants and me.

"We are also working with local and federal authorities," Holmes said. "When Mr. Cobain died in 1994, he left his enormously wealthy estate behind for the benefit of his mother, two sisters, a brother, his wife and young daughter. Many of those [involved with] the estate's coffers mismanaged, stole and outright looted it shamelessly."

That's sad and all, but maybe, just maybe, there's a wee possibility that the money wasn't stolen. Maybe Courtney spent it on stupid shit and forgot about it. Let's take for example this recent story from the Daily Mail:

It's a mistake any of us could make. When removal men spotted a dead bird in a matchbox at Courtney Loveís house, they assumed it was junk and threw it out.

But the embryonic chick was an £8,000 artwork, and the widow of Nirvana singer Kurt Cobain is said to be ëblazing madí at its loss.

Insiders say she has thrown a ëhissy fití and fired her assistant for failing to look after such a treasured possession.

So c'mon, Courtney, fess up. What really happened to all that money? Did you spend it on a search team to track down Bambi's remains? Because he wasn't real. Maybe that's why you're embarrassed to admit it. Plus, we bet you could've gotten a really sweet deal on the Elephant Man's bones from Michael Jackson. He's a little strapped for cash these days.

ï Mr Skin announces Anatomy Award nominees! Holy hooters! (Mr Skin)

ï Jessica Simpson straps on some short shorts to irk the h8rs. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Halle Berry is going to shave her head for a movie role. We're sure she'll look as ugly as usual. (IMDb)

ï Michael Douglas's son Cameron stops paying rent, then leaves his place coated in needles and blackened spoons. Because he's Michael Douglas's son, and he's ruggedly handsome and above the law and impervious to bullets. He does what the fuck he wants. (ILYITW)

ï Today is Jennifer Aniston's 40th birthday, and ex-boyfriend John Mayer wrote her a song. It goes, "Lordy lordy! Jen is forty! So many candles blazin'. Lordy, Lordy! Jen's forty! Her vadge looks like a craisin." (I'm Not Obsessed)

ï Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love are reportedly dating in secret. That's cool, they have a lot in common. Like injecting stuff into their faces. And wearing scarves. (Socialite Life)

ï Katherine Heigl and T. R. Knight are leaving the cast of Grey's Anatomy. Which should leave them with a lot of free time to do their favorite hobbies: smoking things. Cigarettes and men's wieners, respectively. (Anything Hollywood)

ï Mischa Barton. Lookin' gooooooood. (The Blemish)

ï Kate Hudson is once again letting the Butterscotch Stallion nibble her sugar cubes with his velvety muzzle. (Allie Is Wired)

ï Don't be a douche-ku. Ogle Eliza Dushku in Maxim. (Daily Stab)

ï Can't lose that last stubborn five pounds? Get gastric band surgery! Courtney Love did. (Yeeeah!)

ï Pics from Britney Spears's new video for "Womanizer". Lots o' wigs, and not a batty pink one amongst them. (Pop on the Pop)

ï Madonna bans Sarah Palin from attending her shows. Because Sarah Palin is a really huge fan of Breathless Mahoney and the video for "Justify My Love". (Daily Stab)

ï Miley Cyrus makes out with Minnie Mouse. Because that's just how she rolls, man. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï David Duchovny and his heat-seeking wang released back onto an unsuspecting pubic. Public. (IDLYITW)

ï Lauren Bacall calls Tom Cruise "vulgar", "sick", "ridiculous", and "a maniac". You forgot "short", Betty. (Exposay)

ï Nick Nolte's house burned down, and NO, it wasn't because he dropped a doob onto the bed, jerk. (PopCrunch)

ï Pete Doherty wants to perform in a rat-filled coffin. When asked for comment, rats said, "Ew, disgusting." (NME)

ï A party at the Playboy Mansion inspires Anna Faris to greater heights of promiscuity. (Mr. Skin)

ï Forgetting Sarah Marshall. But not forgetting the nipple patches. Damn you, Kristen Bell. (Don't Link This)

Lindsay Lohan might want to get a makeover ó stat.

Exhausted from shopping on Robertson Boulevard in L.A. on May 9, the starlet took a break to grab lunch at CuvÈe CafÈ when fans started shouting, "Courtney! Courtney!"

"People actually mistook Lindsay for Courtney Love!" a source tells Star.

Wearing black Ray-Ban sunglasses and bright-pink lipstick similar to what Courtney sometimes wears, she was a dead ringer for the rock queen.

"She was also looking extremely pale," the source adds. "You know things are going downhill when you get mistaken for an ex-druggie plastic surgery disaster who's twice your age!"

That's really an impressive accomplishment on Lindsay's part if you think about it. It took Courtney decades of hard drug use, public scrutiny, devastating heartbreak, and plain old crazy to achieve that face. Well, those things and plastic, collagen, Botox, and probably some substance distilled from sheep ovaries. Lindsay was able to bypass all that hard work and zip straight to haggard cougar in a matter of months.


Lindsay is still young and succulent at MrSkin.com.

And Courtney's there too. Only she's naked.