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Tag Archives: Cisco Adler

Ew Part 2.

Like the genital linking of Kimberly Stewart and Tommy Lee, the commingling of herpes strains between Paris Hilton and Cisco Adler was inevitable. TMZ reports:
The scariest scene at Guy's karaoke night on Tuesday wasn't Paris "singing," it was her make-out session with ballsy Cisco Adler! Nuts!
A TMZ spy spotted Hilton and Mischa Barton's grungy ex-boyfriend [...]

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Cisco Speaks Sac

Cisco Adler loves his balls, and he doesn't care what all y'all bitches say about them. Mostly because he knows he could slap you in the face with his saggy scrotum from a standing position. Oh, and Mischa didn't dump him. She loves his dangly donuts.

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CNW Junk Drawer: Freakishly Huge Testicles

ï Kylie Minogue's been given the cancer all-clear. And, apparently, the all-clear to get unceremoniously dumped by that one guy who was in S.W.A.T.
ï Whoops, Eminem and Kim are NOT engaged again after all. They're married! Just funnin'.
ï Anna Paquin gets see through. But don't touch her! Or she'll suck out your [...]

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Paris Exposed Again, and This Time She Brings Cisco Adler Along

It's our third straight day of Paris Exposed, just in case you were wondering about the extent to which a Paris may be exposed. Many more pictures and documents have been spread, like Paris's storied herpes of yore, throughout the internet this weekend, and although it's impossible to feign any interest in more pictures of [...]

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Mischa Barton and Cisco Adler Narrowly Escape Harrowing Pot Raid

Mischa Barton and her slack-jawed craprocker beau, Cisco Adler, were allegedly minutes away from being busted at a major raid on a Los Angeles "medical marijuana distribution center" last Wednesday. The story is highly (har har) dubious, especially considering the fact that if DEA agents are so keen on cleaning up drugs in Hollywood, they [...]

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Mischa Barton Vastly Overestimates Cisco Adler's Importance

Mischa Barton, sad over her waning career and slovenly unwashed paramour, cries and cries and demands an engagement ring and threatens to kill herself and take her poor dog with her. We're not sure what's more disturbing: Puppy murder or thinking Cisco Adler makes an ideal life mate.

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Who Cares About Album Sales? Cisco's a Luv Machine

We never thought he could sink lower than riding around on a flatbed truck shilling real estate, but we were wrong. Cisco Adler's Black Crowes tribute band Whitestarr (the extra R means they're extra raw, brah) is selling worse than Kevin Federline. Their first album, "Luv Machine" (you've gotta be fucking kidding me), has sold [...]

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Cisco Loves Mischa's Spacious Balcony and Ample Closet Space

That Mischa Barton is one lucky girl. She's got a hit TV show, she's young and rich and gets invited to all the hot parties, and she has a boyfriend who can take a break from selling real estate from the back of a flat-bed truck to sing her a little song. If only we [...]

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Engagements and Disengagements of the Non-stars, with Special Guest Mischa Barton

Surely you are familiar with the name Mischa Barton. She's on that show that's like 90210 but not, and with better and more expensive clothes; she enjoys throwing lawn furniture into pools and pretending she's a lesbian. And if you like truly heinous music you may be familiar with her current paramour, Cisco Adler. He [...]

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