ï Keira Knightley was attacked by a wandering expletive-spewer and lived to tell the tale. (Yeeeah!)

ï Being the concubine of Marilyn Manson, Evan Rachel Wood is used to standing next to undead ghouls, so she looks right at home beside Mickey Rourke. (CelebWarship)

ï Hilary Swank will gain 30 pounds for a movie role. Which is cool because we also plan on gaining 30 pounds, basically because Totino's Pizza Rolls are on sale at Safeway. Solidarity! (Daily Stab)

ï Ay oh! Oh ay! Whaddaya doin', Samanter? It's Alyssa Milano naked! (Mr. Skin)

ï Another male has willingly placed his wango inside of Star Jones. (Holy Taco)

ï Daniel Radcliffe admits when he was a teen, his magic wand found its way into a cougar's Hairy Pooter. (Derek Hail)

ï Holly Madison take a carefree swing, and tosses out some beav. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Lacey Chabert gives us a party of two. (Fatback)

ï Katie Holmes has the knees of a three dollar hooker. Or that girl Tammy who was voted "friendliest" in tenth grade. (Cityrag)

ï Matthew McConaughey sprung from the loins of another legendary cocksman, it seems. All right all right all riiiiiight. (Yeeeah!)

ï Focus on Madonna's crotch and achieve inner peace. (Cityrag)

ï Naked Kate Moss minus puss moss. (Mr. Skin)

ï Tara Reid is designing her own clothing line. Comes pre-scented with tequila shots and with grass stained knees! (Daily Stab)

ï Christina Ricci's nipples are so terribly sharp, they could slash tires. Or cut butternut squash. Or cut through this can. (IDLYITW)

ï As a child, Mia Tyler ate what normal 8-year-olds eat. Chicken nuggets, pizza, Fruit Wrinkles, Little Debbies, and marijuana seeds. (Celebridiot)

ï Julia Roberts in a bikini. Where's that gigantic boob melanoma? (Drunken Stepfather)

ï One snort at a time: Mackenzie Phillips got arrested for drugs. Where's Schneider when you need him. (Hollywood Grind)

ï Axl Rose wants young Kelly Osbourne to be his serpentine. He wanna hear her scream. (CelebWarship)

Actress Christina Ricci has taken aim at Lindsay Lohan for playing a stripper on screen and setting a poor example to young girls.
Ricci claims stars like Lohan, who peeled off in 2007 movie I Know Who Killed Me, have created a culture of women who find flattery in misogyny.
She says, "It used to be something that we (women) were sort of ashamed of. You didn't want to admit to people that you were a stripper.
But now, the hottest thing to say is, 'I can work a pole!' Who gives a fuck? But it's a huge weird thing.
I mean, you see actresses, and their passion project is to play a stripper. It's just stupid."

Yeah, playing a mostly naked waif chained to a radiator for half the movie is just so morally superior. Way to stick to those misogynists, Ricci.


Christina Ricci is not a stripper, but she is very, very naked at MrSkin.com.

"I asked my trainer, 'Can you give me Jessica Biel's butt?'" the actress ñ who starred with Biel's beau Timberlake in last year's Black Snake Moan ñ tells the U.K. edition of Elle. "I want a bigger butt."

Alas, because of her tiny frame, "they said I couldn't," she laments. "Everyone wants what they can't have!"

It's probably a good thing that Christina's trainer wasn't willing to help her achieve Biel butt. Once she had that, she'd probably move on to replicating other famous body parts–Angelina Jolie's lips, Lindsay Lohan's breasts, Gwen Stefani's flat stomach–until she looked like one of those composite pictures in Us Weekly where the mash together the body parts that readers voted the sexiest. And those things always look like police sketches of rapists and serial killers. Not a good look for Christina.


Christina Ricci is all kinds of naked at MrSkin.com.

"I'm afraid of monkeys, but I had decided not to be afraid of Chim Chim because no one else is. I thought, 'Everyone else thinks he's awesome so just be cool.' "It's the first day of shooting and I have this kitchen scene where I'm sitting down and Chim Chim is sitting right next to me. Of course, it freaks out during the take and grabs my left breast and will not let go, and he's so strong.

"I'm so freaked out and the rest of the actors are facing the other way so no one sees that this has happened to me and I'm like, 'Help, help' as quietly and calmly as possible so this thing does not freak out any further.

"Finally they got him off me but my fear is completely validated and I did not go near him for the rest of the shoot. Monkeys are crazy and you never what they'll grab onto – I don't like unpredictable animals."

Well, to be fair, you really can't blame Chim Chim. Christina was on the set dressed very, very provocatively. With a week's worth of leg stubble. And a halter top fashioned out of bananas. And a bare ass painted hot pink. And she was contorting her hands in sign language to say "Koko love" over and over.

ï Britney Spears pretends she has narcolepsy, which is not an oozing venereal disease, like one might automatically assume. (Yeeeah!)

ï Katie "Jordan" Price gives a hot blow job!!! She'll really straighten you out! (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Work that butt chin, Jessica Simpson. (IDLYITW)

ï Now we know what Heidi Klum sees in Seal. (Pssst! It's his enormous penis!!!!) (Derek Hail)

ï Happy Halloween! Please stick your candle into Christina Ricci's pumpkins. She was Wednesday Addams, after all, so this is plenty relevant. (Cityrag)

ï Find out what happens when Dinas stop being orange and start gittin' REAL. (Fatback and Collards)

ï And speaking of questionable Lohans (are there any other kind?), Michael is dressed like it's twink night at the Wet Piston, wtf. (Celeb Warship)

ï Rwanda postponed its visit from Paris Hilton, presumably because it needed to reinforce its herpes levees. (Celebitchy)

ï Scarlett Johansson knows that nothing says "we're casually dating, I'm kind of into you" than forcing your boyfriend to don your body parts around his neck like a gilded noose. (The Blemish)

ï No phrase sends quivers of ecstasy up the male spine wiener quite like "Kelly Brook bikini photoshoot". (Hollywood Tuna)

ï Paris is suffering from ADD and claustrophobia. BFD, our cousin Cheyenne is suffering from impetigo and chronic fatigue and she's still in jail. (The Blemish)

ï An improvement on that boring Sopranos finale. (Cityrag)

ï Justin Timberlake was traumatized filming Black Snake Moan sex scenes with Christina Ricci. "The sex scene was pretty hot," he said. "Iím not going to say it doesnít feel weird pretending to fuck someone in front of a man with a sound boom, though.î That would be weird indeed, and very unlike our usual practice of fucking a man from the front with his sound boom.(Derek Hail)

ï Like a white trash phoenix covered in bong resin rising from a pile of busted lawnmowers, Federspears: the Union might be resurrected. (Hollywood Backwash)

ï Anne Heche and Celestia lose custody of her child. Apparently, when it comes to parenting, playing video games and watching porn is still preferable to having a second personality who is the child of God and speaks in an unnameable tongue. Who knew? (A Socialite's Life)

"I had to walk around in basically just my underwear all day long. And I would. I wouldn't even cover up in between scenes because I needed to feel comfortable like that. When someone's not comfortable, I think you can see it on camera. And also I needed the crew to be used to seeing me like that so that every time i looked at them I wouldn't see in their eyes: "Oh my god, she's got no shirt on!"

Titillating stuff, pun intended, but we're still probably not going to pay money to see Samuel L. Jackson chain Wednesday Addams to a radiator, both muttering in poor Southern accents. We would, however, gladly dish out $10 plus $5 for Jujyfruits if Snake costar S. Epatha Merkerson got naked. Ooooh, S. Epatha. Can't get enough of that S. Epatha.

See Christina's actual boobies at MrSkin.com.