Tag Archives: Christina Aguilera
Nicole Richie's Spawn Already More Popular Than Christina Aguilera's
Since the halcyon days of Suri and Shiloh, when we were waiting to catch a glimpse of our future overlord and the world's most genetically perfect human specimen, respectively, we haven't taken much of an interest in the first unveilings of celebrity spawn. They all kind of look alike, right? So what's the point? It's [...]
Wonky Tonk Titties
Tabloids are up in arms about Suri Cruise being allowed to imbibe nothing aside from a curious concoction they call "barley water". Frankly, we think people should be more concerned about the dietary habits of Christina Aguilera's spawn, tiny Max Liron Bratman.
Not only were his first days on Earth marred by having a crowd [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Stealin' Babies and Batteries
ï Britney Spears and Adnan Ghalib, married? Married? Yeah, married. Married? Yeah, married! Sheesh! (I Don't Like You In That Way)
ï Miley Cyrus publicly apologizes for not wearing her seat belt. No seat belt is a slippery slope that leads headlong into Crotchflashtown and San Rehabton. (IMDb)
ï Emma "Hermione" Watson gets slimed [...]
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Also tagged Adnan Ghalib, Amy Winehouse, Bai Ling, Britney Spears, celeb engagements/weddings, celebrity hookups, celebrity offspring, Emma Watson, Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian, Kristen Bell, magazines, Miley Cyrus, plastic surgery rumors
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Christina Funbaguilera
Aguilera! She of the Pennywise makeup and permasneer! Every single thing she does oozes with blow-up doll sex appeal. She even makes ceremonial removal of the foreskin off her baby's wiener totally hot. The other day, she told Ryan Seacrest:
"I'm not Jewish, my husband is. I really had no idea about the bris. It was [...]
Aguilera and Richie: Dueling Doulas
Hollywood was awash with shed mucus plugs this weekend–Rodeo Drive crushed under a rolling tsunami of afterbirth and Grauman's Chinese buried under placenta 7 feet deep. Both Nicole Richie and Christina Aguilera shat brats from their crotches this weekend. Yeeeah! has the scoop, via People:
Nicole Richie and her rocker boyfriend Joel Madden are the parents [...]
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Also tagged celebrity offspring, celebrity pregnancies, Joel Madden, Nicole Richie
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Christina Preguilera Does the Demi
Christina Aguilera is going to be on the cover of Marie Claire's January 2008 issue. And she appears to be ringing in the new year with a sliver of tittay and some side butt gently bookmarking the burgeoning fetus in her guts. Awww. Baby's first photo shoot. Xtina tells the mag:
ìWeíre so labeled. If youíre [...]
A View Only Christina Aguilera's OB/GYN Has Enjoyed
Christina Aguilera, as a rule, is pretty good about straddling the line between charmingly tawdry and full-on ass-out indecency. Spackled Real Doll makeup and cleavage you could lose your keys in is always a go, but she's always stopped just short of reproductive organs. Dig, if you will, the picture to the left. Classic Aguilera: [...]
Christina Aguilera to End World Hunger with Her Cans
When we first gazed upon this photo of Christina Aguilera's gigantic milk-and-silicone hybrid bazooms, our reaction was pretty much what you'd see in any 1950s cartoon: eyes bulging, tongue rolling out like an Oscar red carpet, heart beating outside of our shirt. Then about ten minutes later we rolled our tongue back into our mouth, [...]
Famous Ladies Had Penises in Their Vaginas; Babies Ensued
Anyone who is not a female above age thirty can just stop reading this right now, because we're about to delve into the world of babies. It's going to be babies, babies, babies around the CNW parts until every last one of you wants to scrape out your lady innards with a rusty hanger. We [...]
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Also tagged Cate Blanchett, celebrity offspring, celebrity pregnancies, Milla Jovovich
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Christina Aguilera Is Insulted by Your Low-Class Baby Gifts
If you were thinking about picking up a Gloworm or Baby Alive Wets & Wiggles doll for Christina Aguilera's baby next time you were at Wal-Mart stocking up on Lunchables and Lean Pockets, don't bother. She'll just throw that shit in the trash along with that cheap Bob the Builder See 'n Say the in-laws [...]