Tag Archives: Christina Aguilera
Singers Need Stuff: A VMA Rider Compendium
Today we read a list of stars' rider demands for the VMAs and wondered: what, exactly, would happen if Kid Rock's yogurts were full fat? What would go down if Christina Aguilera's candles were presented with a lighter instead of a pack of matches? Would these singers be thrown into a tailspin and rendered unable [...]
Christina Aguilera Has Big Thingies
Welcome, children, to a new edition of things you already know. Today's lesson: Christina Aguilera has huge cha-chas. When it comes to learning a new concept, it's best to repeat memorization exercises until the knowledge has implanted itself in your brain. But instead of looking at a one dollar bill and reciting, "George Washington is [...]
She Is Nude-iful, No Matter What They Say
After yesterday's seemingly endless onslaught of topless supermodels, today seems like a total letdown. Then again, after a one-two knockout of Klum/Crawford boobs, anything short of Gisele's labes pressed against our monitor is a drag. So here. Here, enjoy this vintage David LaChapelle shoot of naked Christina Aguilera, undies-clad Pamela Anderson, and a bunch of [...]
Xtina's Xtremely Xpansive Xtremities
OK, so obviously we know that Christina Aguilera has gigantic non-genuine gazongas. But have they grown recently? Those things are monumental. Perhaps in her baby-rearing down time Xtina is actually a super talented scientist who has devoted herself to discovering space-age polymers (we're not quite sure what those are; we think we heard about them [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: CBT
ï Brittany Snow not naked, but well-versed in cock and ball torture in On the Doll! (Fatback)
ï In case you were wondering if Pam Anderson's nipples were still inching their way towards her armpits, the answer is a resounding yes! (Taxi Driver)
ï Abigail Clancy: dumpy name, glamorous naked boobs in a bikini. [...]
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Also tagged ailing celebs, Brandon Davis, Brittany Snow, celebrity gay rumors, celebrity offspring, Elizabeth Hurley, Heath Ledger, Lindsay Lohan, magazines, movies, Pamela Anderson, Paul Newman, Samantha Ronson, Sienna Miller
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Xtina Fights for Her Right to Party
We never thought we had any particular interest in Christina Aguilera. She's got big jugs, she has actual talent, someone seriously needs to dig a hole in her backyard and throw in every scrap of makeup she owns for the good of mankind, she's married to a monkey. Our thoughts on Xtina pretty much end [...]
Babies Make Christina Aguilera Feel Sexy
Some women need high heels, sexy lingerie, or red lipstick to feel sexy; not Christina Aguilera. She's at her sexiest when she's passing a pissing, shitting, squealing infant through her vagina. In fact, motherhood so makes her ladyparts throb that she's planning on doing it again. Reports The Sun:
FANS of CHRISTINA AGUILERAíS gargantuan post-pregnancy boobs [...]
Christina Aguilera Enjoys Life
Yesterday we posted a little profile of Hollywood's greatest entertainer, Funbags the Clown. It seems that our coverage of her clowning skills worked wonders for her career, as she was invited to perform for kids at a little party at a nice place called
Tenjune. Says Yeeeah!:
Christina Aguilera and her [female] companion put on a sexy [...]
Christina Aguilera Has Large Shoes and a Comically Tiny Car
And here we have Hollywood's hottest chuckle-maker, Funbags the Clown, at an event this past weekend. Although Funbags is extremely popular, she is available for your child's birthday party, any and all ribbon-cutting ceremonies, carnivals and street fairs, and bat mitzvahs. Watch in wonder as she removes the balloons from her chest cavity and fashions [...]
Christina Aguilera and Hubby Reenact Showgirls Pool Scene; Disgust the Elderly
The coolest thing about being a totally in-your-face rock star is freakin' out the square, am I right or am I right, people? Christina Aguilera sure as hell knows what we're talking about–apparently, she's got all the fogies in her neighborhood shaking their colostomy bags with ire because she and monkey-man husband Jordan Bratman insist [...]