Coldplay rocker Chris Martin is sticking up for celebrities with unusually named children, insisting names are "just noises."

Martin and his wife, Gwyneth Paltrow, delved deep into the baby name book to hand their 2-year-old son the Biblically themed Moses, after giving daughter Apple, 4, a fruity moniker.

But the singer insists there's nothing odd about choosing a unique name.

He tells Blender magazine, "People make a big fuss over names. Names of babies, names of albums, names of bands.

"There's nothing weird about calling your baby Chewbacca if that's what you want to call your baby. It's no stranger than Sarah.

"A name is just a noise, and, if you like it, then [bleep] what everyone else says."

Thanks for the idea, Chris. We just found this really sweet size 2T head-to-toe fur snowsuit, but we weren't sure what infant on earth would be worthy of such couture. But now that Chris has so helpfully chosen the perfect baby name for us, we better get to procreatin'!

"Got some blessed news…a celebration of life and bounty…a newborn conceived…yes, my girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together…it's 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far…we are stoked and wowed by this miracle of creation and this gift from God, and so excited for the adventure that will come in raising this child, being a mother and a father, and sheparding him or her through this life……from moms and dads, to family, to community, it takes the best will and support from everyone to raise the healthiest children we have in society…..thanks for bein fans of me and my work and now this new and miraculous chapter in my life, as me and camila and our child do our best to just keep livin….wow, mcconaughey"

Wow, indeed. But that's our Matthew. He just keeps livin. L-I-V-I-N. This news almost made us forget about that weird threeway he had going with Lance Armstrong and Jake Gyllenhaal. We are definitely ready to see him use his masculine wiles to steal Kate Hudson's heart in his upcoming film, Fool's Gold. In theaters everywhere February 8th, 2008. Check local listings.

On the other side of the masculine scale (that would be the short, dumpy, womaninzing side), David Spade has also knocked up a female. TMZ reports:

TMZ has learned that a 22-year-old Playboy Playmate is claiming that David Spade is the father of her unborn child. Holy Jamie Lynn!

Jillian Grace, Miss March 2005, is alleging that she had a relationship with the comedian, resulting in her becoming pregnant. Grace was discovered by Playboy after posing for test shots on the Howard Stern show.

Spade tells TMZ, "I had a brief relationship with Jillian Grace. If it is true that I am the father of her child, then I will accept responsibility."

We've never understood how David Spade continually lands super hot ladies. He originated the "____ called. They want their ____ back" joke, which should be cause enough for life-long forced celibacy. Plus, he's David Spade. The only thing we can come up with is that his dick must be as tall as he is.

Gwynnie's mystery trip to the ER may have been due to a problem with a festering fetus. The New York Daily News reports:

Did a pregnancy complication put Gwyneth Paltrow in the hospital?

Husband Chris Martin was seen pushing the Oscar winner into Mount Sinai Medical Center here Monday.

"They looked very serious," a witness tells us. "She looked upset. They went right past everyone and into the elevator. It seemed like they were expected."

Paltrow's rep, Stephen Huvane, declined to discuss what was wrong with the actress, who last year underwent knee surgery. "She's fine," said Huvane, adding that Paltrow had returned home.

But our spy did report that Martin and Paltrow entered Mount Sinai's maternity wing, the Klingenstein Pavilion.

Last August, Paltrow, 35, told an interviewer she and Martin wanted to expand their family, which now has daughter Apple, 3, and son Moses, 1. While Martin wanted to adopt, she said she was open to having "two [babies] in a row, really quick again."

Huvane called speculation about a troubled pregnancy "guesswork at best. This is a private matter not for public consumption."

We guess that shoots our theory to hell. After all, sense of humor implantation is usually relegated to the plastic surgery ward.

Is it possible that international vibrator spokesperson Eva Longoria has a different small, quivering object in her poot shoot? Pagesix.com says they spy a mighty baby bump, but Eva counters that she's just filled to the brim with enchiladas.

"No pregnancy, not yet. I've been cooking and eating, cooking and eating. I keep telling everyone that I've gained 10 pounds just being on strike."

Maybe if the strike continues Eva will balloon to 250 pounds, making her unemployable and therefore unable to further denigrate the careers of perfectly lovable actors like Paul Rudd. Why, Paul Rudd, why?

And, finally, Britney says, "Look at me! Look at me!" by perusing the home-pregnancy-test aisle. Why not, right? She's already tried the failsafe attention getters of teens everywhere–pink hair, head shaving, and public nudity. Plus, Brit really wants to do her part to make Jamie Lynn look sweet and innocent and normal again. And "bipolar barely clothed sister who has no legal right to see her existing children gets knocked up by married stalkerazzi boyfriend" trumps "16-year-old with child" any day.

That's the name Gwyn and husband Chris Martin have picked out for their new baby, reportedly a boy. Capone.

This is some sort of joke, right? It was reported in the Enquirer, so we thought it was simply a bit of typical Enquirer hokum that they dreamed up in between stories about pregnant ladies with no legs and the search for Natalee Holloway. But it was written by Mike Walker! Our Mike! Mike wouldn't lie to us, would he? At any rate, the naming duties went to Martin this time, and he wanted a name that had "character". Chris, lots of other names have character. Like Tom, for Tom Sawyer, or David, for David Copperfield. Or Manson Bundy Ramirez-Gacy. That's a pretty name.

Gwyneth is naked. Really naked. At MrSkin.com.

"Yes, I am" before quickly backtracking. "Well, I think so. Oh, well I have not checked lately – but I am a very happy grandmother of one."

Now, Gwyneth has pretty much confirmed her pregnancy. When asked at the London premiere of Proof (to which she wore a nip-baring dress) why her husband wasn't with her, Gwyn patted her stomach and said that there were "two Paltrows in the room." We're secretly hoping that she meant she was so steamed by her mother's indiscretion that she ate her.

See Gwyneth naked at MrSkin.com.

And to make it extra pervy, check out mom Blythe naked, too.

You can see Brooke Shields nude at MrSkin.com. But you can't see Tom Jones or Mickey Rourke nude. That would just be gross.