Tag Archives: Chris Brown
Rihanna Talks About “The Incident”; Wears Funny Outfit
“A Asshole” Chris Brown has been so busy picking up horse apples for community service, while Rihanna has remained occupied by wearing an array of completely see-through outfits, that we almost forgot about the fact that he beat the shit out of her with closed fists and threatened to kill her. Just kidding, we didn’t [...]
Rihanna Gets 5 Chris Brownless Years
Yesterday, Chris Brown was officially sentenced for knocking Rihanna’s block off. He’ll get 5 years probation, a year of domestic abuse classes and 1,400 hours of community service. We knew this, but what we didn’t know is the whole story of what happened that fateful day in that fateful car. TMZ has the full police [...]
His Spiritual Teachers Taught Him Better Than That
We almost forgot about Chris Brown, who, as you know, is A ASSHOLE. He got sentenced for using Rihanna as a Bozo Bop Bag, and we thought that would be the last of it. He'd go hang out in celebrity purgatory with Sisqo and Marcy Playground. But no, he's back with a very rehearsed and [...]
Chris Brown Won't Go to Jail; Will Pull Kudzu off the I-68 Exit
Remember when Chris Brown beat the crud out of Rihanna? What a asshole! Well, yesterday he was sentenced. Paris Hilton drove without a license once and was in jail for two weeks. Chris Brown made his girlfriend's head blow up like a basketball and he gets to do some light gardening. TMZ says:
Chris Brown has [...]
Want to See Chris Brown's Petite Pecker? Rihanna Can Help
Those Rihanna nude pics? Yeah, she's not too happy about those. She's so mad, she's all like, "Yeah, Chris Brown, yeah? You think you're cool. I'll show you cool. I'm gonna show the world your teeny weenie and tell everyone you suck in bed. Take that, puny prick." According to Bossip:
ìShe says sheís going to [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Sabrina Gives You a Sa-bonah
Sabrina the Teenage HOT DAMN girl looks nice in a bikini. (Daily Stab)
Hilary Duff’s sister Haylie Duff got a new mug. (Yeeeah!)
Chris Brown pulls an Elephant Man and says “I’m not a monster”. Cool, but you’re still A ASSHOLE! (Anything Hollywood)
Michael Lohan got arrested. Again. He’s a nurturing caregiver and a wonderful [...]
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Also tagged Cameron Diaz, celebrity deaths, celebrity nudity, celebrity offspring, celebs in bikinis, Courtney Love, Haylie Duff, Lady Gaga, magazines, Megan Fox, Melissa Joan Hart, Mike Tyson, plastic surgery rumors, Robert Pattinson
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That Asshole Chris Brown Found a New Lady
We know it's hard out there for single ladies. Once you weed out the married guys and the gay guys and the ugly guys and the guys who name their penises and the guys who insist on calling you mommy, you're not left with much. And apparently one sorry, misguided lady has looked at this [...]
CNW Fantasy Corner: Chris Brown and Rihanna Sex Tape Edition
We're going to preface this by saying that if every supposed celebrity sex tape we heard rumors about were real, your celebrity-sex-tape collection would rival any "brought to you by Judd Apatow" movie collection in hugeness. But whatevs. You might get to see Chris Brown giving Rihanna a different kind of pounding. As in, with [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: My Paris Lies Over the Ocean
ï Paris Hilton, in a bikini, hits the beach with her new beau, wearing Jamz. (Drunken Stepfather)
ï Jenny McCarthy and Botox, sitting in a tree. (IMDb)
ï On again/off again couple Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are off again. Until the engagement rumors start, oh, in 5 hours or so. (The Blemish)
ï [...]
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Also tagged Anne Heche, awards shows, celebrity breakups, celebrity offspring, celebs posing for Playboy, Denise Richards, James Franco, Jennifer Aniston, Jenny McCarthy, John Mayer, Katy Perry, Khloe Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, magazines, Paris Hilton
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Chris Hits Rihanna–With a Hot Track
Rihanna and Chris Brown are probably back together in romance and also in song. Just like that one time on A Different World when Whitley and Jaleesa sang together and Whitley said, "We may not like each other, but our voices sure do." True, True. E! Online says:
No one can say for sure whether Chris [...]