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Heather Mills Gets a Smaller Shit Load of Money Than She Hoped; Still a Shit Load

By Agent E. | Published March 17, 2008

We're pretty sure that if we were lucky enough to make the leap from "educational sex manual" model to the wife of one of the richest musicians alive, our divorce proceedings would end when said musician offered us 83 bucks and a lifetime supply of Rice-a-Roni. We're cheap. But Heather Mills has let her divorce [...]

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Britney Spears Finally Gives in to the Crazy, Takes Kids Hostage

By Agent E. | Published January 4, 2008

Well, we got our wish. Yesterday we bitched and moaned about how boring Britney Spears had become and pleaded with her to do something interesting again. And quite frankly, we're pretty shocked that she reads CelebNewsWire and wants to please us so much (not as shocked as we are that she can read, period, though). [...]

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Britney Spears Really Repeating Herself

By Agent E. | Published January 3, 2008

We know you've been hard at work the past three days planning out how to keep your New Year's resolutions. You've paid gym fees, bought protein powder, dug out your workout clothes from the back of the closet. But let's face it: nobody's gonna give a shit if you lose ten pounds. Why don't you [...]

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