But in case all you care about is seeing Lindsay Lohan in a bikini, we've got you covered. She dropped by the Mr. Skin photo booth at the Silver Spoon Malibu Beach House this weekend and got all pose-y. Sure, the bikini's nice, but we can't stop looking at the hair. The red just makes us so happy. And it's really a good career move on LiLo's part. Get us thinking about The Parent Trap and Mean Girls via hair color and maybe we'll forget about Georgia Rule and the rest.

Victoria Principal apparently has taken her role on "Dallas" a little too seriously — she's been sued for allegedly pulling a gun on a maid.

The woman who played Pamela Ewing is being sued by Maribel Banegas, the former maid at Victoria's Malibu home. Banegas claims she had taken the dog for a walk — when she returned home to an enraged Victoria who couldn't understand why it took so long.

Banegas explained the dog wouldn't poop, but Victoria wasn't pickin' up what the maid was puttin' down. According to the suit, filed in L.A. County Superior Court, Victoria fired Maribel on the spot. Maribel asked for her final check and Victoria went upstairs, allegedly only to come down with a gun, "which she then pointed and aimed" at the maid.

The suit claims Victoria "verbally threatened to kill plaintiff"… and asked another housekeeper who was present "to stand aside in order that she could kill the plaintiff."

The maid claims assault, false imprisonment and emotional distress. She wants unspecified damages.

We're totally on Victoria's side here. That maid should've known better than to show up at work dressed as Sue Ellen.

COURTNEY Love finally sobered up and realized that some of the people handling Kurt Cobain's estate had lost all the money the Nirvana frontman had left her and their daughter, Frances Bean, her lawyer says.

A team of investigators, forensic accountants and lawyers found that Cobain's estate had been looted of more than $30 million cash and up to $500 million in real estate.

"I have never seen such greed and moral turpitude. This case is going to make Bernard Madoff look warm and fuzzy," Love's lawyer, Rhonda J. Holmes, of Gordon & Holmes in San Diego, told Page Six.

"We will be filing civil cases . . . within the next 30 days. There are many, many millions missing. We've only been able to track down $30 million, but there is more. And then there is the real estate."

According to Holmes, bank accounts using Cobain, Love and Frances Bean's Social Security numbers were set up and used to buy and sell real estate across the US.

"There is now a web of homes which were bought, flipped and used to launder money — up to $500 million worth," Holmes said. "Any of the property we can get back will be donated to people who have lost their homes in foreclosures."

Asked how this could have happened, Holmes said, "Courtney noticed the money was gone when there wasn't any left. It's no secret she struggled with substance-abuse issues, but in the last year she's taken a more serious approach to sobriety and started noticing things were wrong. She hired private investigators, accountants and me.

"We are also working with local and federal authorities," Holmes said. "When Mr. Cobain died in 1994, he left his enormously wealthy estate behind for the benefit of his mother, two sisters, a brother, his wife and young daughter. Many of those [involved with] the estate's coffers mismanaged, stole and outright looted it shamelessly."

That's sad and all, but maybe, just maybe, there's a wee possibility that the money wasn't stolen. Maybe Courtney spent it on stupid shit and forgot about it. Let's take for example this recent story from the Daily Mail:

It's a mistake any of us could make. When removal men spotted a dead bird in a matchbox at Courtney Loveís house, they assumed it was junk and threw it out.

But the embryonic chick was an £8,000 artwork, and the widow of Nirvana singer Kurt Cobain is said to be ëblazing madí at its loss.

Insiders say she has thrown a ëhissy fití and fired her assistant for failing to look after such a treasured possession.

So c'mon, Courtney, fess up. What really happened to all that money? Did you spend it on a search team to track down Bambi's remains? Because he wasn't real. Maybe that's why you're embarrassed to admit it. Plus, we bet you could've gotten a really sweet deal on the Elephant Man's bones from Michael Jackson. He's a little strapped for cash these days.

The Madonna-Guy Ritchie divorce might already be settled, with Guy telling Madonna she can keep her Kabbalah coin all to herself.

According to a report in the Daily Mail, Madge won't pay out a penny or a pound of her $500 mil fortune to Guy, but their sons (David and Rocco) will split their time between London and New York. An announcement on the settlement could come by the end of the month, says a source.

We've been told Guy could still do pretty well in the divorce — since Brit divorce law says he's due half.

You may have noticed that this isn't the type of story we usually cover, since it's all filled with happy endings and no one said anything stupid. So you caught us. It was a ruse. The real reason for this post? To show you that thing Madonna is pretending is a dress. That, my friends, is the reason the Weed Whacker was invented. Someone please give her a trim before some socialite's purse-dwelling chihuahua pees on her.


See Madonna nude at MrSkin.com.

Lawyers in the Britney Spears conservatorship case have just asked the court commissioner to make her conservatorship permanent. And the judge said she would grant the request.

The conservatorship was scheduled to end on December 31.

Sources say one reason why Brit & Co. wanted to extend the conservatorship is that it makes it easier for her to regain custody of her kids — the family law commissioner will feel more comfortable giving her added face time if there is a safety net.

The conservators will now also be responsible for handling her business affairs and career opportunities.

As for why they suddenly asked for a permanent conservatorship — we're told the commish doesn't want to keep extending temporary power…that it makes more sense to make the conservatorship permanent and then just lift it when Brit is safe and sound.

Under the permanent conservatorship a medical team will oversee Britney's career to make sure what she does will not compromise her mental health.

The commish said, "The conservatorship is necessary and appropriate for the complexity of financial and business entities and her being susceptible to undue influence."

So does this make Britney a ward of the state? We're thinking that might be a good thing, mostly because the word ward makes us think of things like Ward Cleaver, Montgomery Ward, and TV's Robin, Burt Ward. And all of those things are sort of calming, as they've brought joy to scads and scads of old people throughout the years, and Britney could definitely use a good dose of calm in her life.


Britney gets sexy at MrSkin.com.

After meeting him at the Diesel XXX Rock party in New York, the pair swapped numbers ñ and she has been calling him up to four times a day ever since.

Our party mole says: ìLindsay took a real shine to Chace and was pretty much throwing herself at him all night.

ìShe was standing in such a way that some part of her body was always touching him ñ at one point hip to hip.

ìShe was also giving him the filthiest looks, whispering in his ear, and turning everything he said into an innuendo.

ìEveryone on the set of Gossip Girl has been teasing him mercilessly as Lindsay has been calling him three or four times a day and sending provocative text messages. Although she may just be having a laugh and not have any serious amorous intentions, everyone reckons Sam will go mad when she finds out.ì

As a result Chace has been advised to stay well away from Lindsay and give the couple a very wide berth.î

Oh, honey, we don't think you understand what gay means. Gay girls like other gay girls, not gay boys.

And if that's not enough excitement for you, how about a little lawsuit? Everybody loves getting sued! Reports People:

Lindsay Lohan is being sued by three men in an SUV she drove during a car chase leading to her second DUI arrest last year.

The actress was "angry and aggressive" and the men "felt surprise, shock, fear and panic at Lohan's surprising and sudden act" of allegedly commandeering a car in which they happened to be sitting to chase her personal assistant through the streets of Santa Monica, according to the lawsuit.

The plaintiffs ñ Ronnie Blake, Jakon Sutter and Dante Nigro ñ are seeking unspecified damages in the case, filed in Superior Court in Santa Monica.

Although nobody was physically injured, their suit describes a wild, traumatic ride with Lohan allegedly angry and intoxicated as she went after the other car following a party.

"Dante and Jakon continued to implore Lohan to slow down, stating specifically that she was endangering all of their lives and that they could be killed," the lawsuit says. "Lohan refused to slow or stop, but instead responded with abusive cursing and vulgar language, including a statement that she did not care about the risk of death."

The lawsuit adds: "She also stated that because she was a celebrity she could do whatever she wants."

Wait a minute. Hold up here. Let us get this straight. Chace Crawford? Car chase? Chace, chase? What are you trying to tell us here, Lindsay? Are you planning a career change? The next time we stop by our local Chase bank will we see a plaque on a desk with the name Lindsay Lohan on it? Will you be assisting us in opening a money market account? Because, truthfully, that might be a good move at this point.


Lindsay Lohan sexes it up at MrSkin.com.

The court has released what it calls the "Tentative Statement of Decision." It is a highly sensitive document, which outlines a bitter, ongoing battle between Stone and ex-husband, Phil Bronstein.

Among many things, the judge says, "Mother appears to overreact to many medical issues involving Roan." In one case, the judge describes Stone believing Roan had a spinal condition, but "there was no evidence to support this allegation."

And then the court says, "Another example of an overreaction is that Mother suggested that Roan should have Botox injections in his feet to resolve a problem he had with foot odor. As Father appropriately noted, the simple and common sense approach of making sure Roan wore socks with his shoes and used foot deodorant corrected the odor problem without the need for any invasive procedure on this young child."

Initially we were with Sharon on this one. Stinky feet are just so hard to overcome. We've tried everything, covering the soles with Band-Aids, spreading a thin layer of cream cheese in the bottom of our shoes, rubbing Vaseline on the feet of our Jessica Simpson voodoo doll. But nothing seemed to work! We were just about to resort to Sharon's Botox recommendation when the genius Phil Bronstein stepped in. Socks! Deodorant! What brilliant solutions! Thank you, Phil, you truly are a great man.

Also, is it really surprising that Shazza would suggest such an extreme solution to a common problem? After all, this is the woman who proposed that when threatened with date rape a woman should, not kick the perpetrator in the nads or stab him repeatedly with your keys, but stuff his dick in her maw. Truly a fount of wisdom, that one.


Forget about her parenting skills and see Sharon Stone nude at MrSkin.com.

Anne Heche got a break from the judge in her custody war today after appearing in court, claiming she doesn't have a pot to pee in … even less than her deader-beat ex-husband.
An L.A. County Superior Court judge has suspended Heche's obligation to pay child support for July. Heche has been forking over $14,798 in monthly support.

In her declaration, Heche noted that her TV show, "Men In Trees," had gotten the ax. She says since January, "I have been unemployed and had no income….except for one very short term contract for a movie role for which I received a total of $65,000."

Heche says she has a grand total of $34,840.93 in her accounts. She claims she can't continue paying for Homer's private school tuition, her Canadian mortgage, L.A. rent, auto and other expenses. She says she's $364,000 in the hole.

BTW, Anne was spotted at the Malibu Beach Inn over the weekend. She blew $30 on appetizers, not including tip.

Oh my God, what a bitch. We can't believe Anne would spend $30 on appetizers–appetizers!–when her ex-husband Coley Laffoon (hehe) doesn't have enough child support left over from months and months of $14,798 checks to buy poor little Homer any Louis Vuitton socks for summer camp. He is going to get teased so badly. But mostly because his name's Homer Laffoon and his mom is a former lesbian with a secret alien identity begat by God. Kids don't give a shit what kind of socks you wear.


Find Anne Heche naked and loving the ladies at MrSkin.com.

We've learned a warrant has been issued for the arrest of Shia LaBeouf.

LaBeouf received a ticket February 18 in Burbank for unlawful smoking, a misdemeanor. He was supposed to appear in court at 8:30 AM, but neither he nor a lawyer showed — so a $1,000 bench warrant was issued for Shia's arrest.

Shia was allegedly smoking on the sidewalk outside a shop called Skyblupink, a gift shop, when cops cited him.

Oooh, smoking less than fifteen feet from the entrance of a retail store! That is so high up there on the list of societal taboos. TheBeef might as well shoot someone in the head in broad daylight now, cause he's pretty much fucked.