Tag Archives: celebs in court
Lindsay Lohan Gets Sued by Science Lady
How far do you think Lindsay Lohan made it in school? Eighth grade maybe? So when Linds is promoting her can-tan and saying that it's her own secret special formula, no one is picturing her wearing a lab coat, pouring various orangey substances into beakers, right? You're picturing her chewing on her hair during a [...]
Make Victoria Principal's Dog Poop or She'll Shoot You
Courtney Love offered a verbal beat down, Jack Bauer fired up a head butt, but neither of those wonderfully wacky actions can compare to the insane-ass shit Pamela Ewing's been up to. Victoria Principal got pissed her puppy took its damn time making poopy and took it out on the maid. By pulling a gun [...]
Courtney Love Swindled, Loses Precious Dead Birdie
Just about a year ago, we started hearing crazy rants from Courtney Love. The subject this time: "Y'alls stealing my dead husband's money. Stop it! Please?" But since the accusations were coming from Courtney, they sounded something like this: "oiohun;n crackle spackle merkin gherkin sladmnf;;;awer salamander." But this time Court's back and letting a lawyer [...]
Madonna Settles, Wears Astroturf
Have we mentioned that we now love Guy Ritchie? There may have been talk of a Team Guy t-shirt, we're not sure. We have never seen even one of his movies, but this whole Madonna divorce has convinced us that he's a pretty awesome dude (we were going to say guy there, as we use [...]
Britney Spears Will Never Make Her Own Decisions Again
It's probably a good thing that Britney Spears never bothers showing up to court when she's being sued, prosecuted, stripped of her rights, etc., because if she did girl wouldn't have time for anything else. She would spend more time in a courtroom than Ally McBeal. We stole that joke from Jay Leno. Funny, right? [...]
Lindsay Trades Girl Who Looks Like Boy for Boy Who Looks Like Girl
Is it just us, or has Lindsay Lohan gotten boring since she started licking clam? We were really hoping that the LiLo/SamRo thing would be a bit more like the Ellen/Anne Heche thing (because you just know that Lindsay will get bored and go back to dick, and there's a good chance that she'll lose [...]
Hey, Sharon Stone, Whatcha Doin'? "Oh, Just Botoxin' the Baby"
Move over Dr. Scholl's; Sharon Stone has a surefire way to get rid of foot odor: Just stick a bunch of sharp needles in that sensitive flesh and pump it full of toxic botulism spores. Brilliant. It seems that puss-barin' Sharon may have gotten caught up in that whole custody-loss thing last week because she [...]
Anne Heche Broke Like MC Hammer
Anne Heche is totally broke and can't pay child support! This is Celestia's fault, we just know it. That greedy little tramp probably ran off with Anne's credit cards and spent wads and wads of money on lesbian hookers. Or maybe she spent it all trying to fix her busted space ship so she could [...]
Gloria Allred Demonstrates Rob Lowe's Alleged Nanny Touching
We haven't paid much attention to this whole Rob Lowe possible-forced-nanny-schtuping thing, mostly because A) it's not in any way the most scandalous thing to enter Rob Lowe's life, B) making jokes about sexual harassment is way sleazier than making up yet another word to describe Sienna Miller's boobs, and C) it doesn't involve anyone [...]
Shia Wanted for More Than Just His Beef
When we think of Shia TheBeef, one word pops into our head: BAD. As in, "Oooh, he so BAD!" We really can't believe that he's managed to stay out of jail for this long. He does things like of-age drinking! And Harrison Ford cajoled and threatened, but TheBeef told us the name of the new [...]