Tag Archives: celebrity parents
Dear Lindsay, I’m in a Magazine! Love, Daddy
How is it that Michael Lohan continues to shock us? We know he’s the creepiest creep who ever creeped among creepazoids, yet every time he takes his creepiness a step further we’re all, “WTF, Mike?” Today’s creepy goings-on involve Michael writing a personal letter to Lindsay—and publishing it in In Touch. According to Contact Music:
His [...]
Michael Lohan Is a Really Great Dad
You’ve got to hand it to Michael Lohan; it takes another-level type douchebag to make Dina Lohan look like the sensible parent. But even though Dina is the next incarnation of Jaid Barrymore, she can always count on Michael threatening to kidnap their kids to make her look good less abhorrent. According to The San [...]
Lindsay Lohan a Genius, Says Mommy
Lindsay Lohan’s parents have very different ideas about who exactly their daughter is. Michael thinks that Lindsay is an out-of-control pill popper in desperate need of help (and maybe a Britney-style conservatorship with Daddy at the reigns—and holding the checkbook?). While Dina thinks that Lindsay is a “genius.” Well, at least they can both agree [...]
Blame It on the Benzos
Let’s check in on Life as Delusion starring Michael Lohan, shall we? When we last left our publicity-hungry leading man, he was calling Lindsay-schtupper Sam Ronson the reincarnation of Hitler or something. Now he’s blaming his offspring’s troubles on goofballs. And we’re not talking Jim J. Bullock. Dear old dad said:
I’m going to get her [...]
You Ugly. You Ugly. Your Momma Says You Ugly.
Do you want to know why Jennifer Aniston is so compulsively needy? Is it because she can’t keep a man for longer than eight seconds and in her sleep she hears the words “Angelina Jolie is better than you” on a constant loop like some people hear the soothing sound of crashing waves? Nope. It’s [...]
Shia the Beef Not Poking Mommy with His Salami
Shia the Beef thinks you're a dirty, deranged pervert. Yes, YOU. Because you read that one story where he called his mommy a sexy, sexy bitch and you immediately thought, "Shia the Beef is obviously slipping the beef to his madre." Not us. Nope. We thought, "Shia the Beef would like to slip the beef [...]
Angelina Jolie a Man-Stealing Hussy? You Don't Say.
You probably thought that Angelina Jolie was a sensitive, misunderstood soul who only started humping a married man because they were soul mates and the universe demanded they pair up to form the world's most beautiful, perfect, multiethnic family. But turns out Ang just likes seducing men away from other women. Even if the other [...]
Shia Wants To Stuff His Beef in Mommy's Muffin
Remember that story about how Shia LaBeouf’s drug-enthusiast dad was living in The Beef’s garage? Apparently that’s just the surface of the odd happenings in the The Beef family. Reports Star:
Shia LaBeouf’s childhood deserves an NC-17 rating.
In a candid new interview, the star of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen ó who severely injured his hand [...]
Britney Spears's Vagina Demands Brand New Backup Dancer Meat
If you've been thinking that while Britney Spears has been under a conservatorship she's been whiling away the hours in her bedroom reading Disney pop-up books and playing with her My Little Ponies, you're wrong. You've seen her cooter. And bitch is HUNGRY. Brit just has to wait until Daddy's back is turned to feed [...]
Britney Spears Loves Jesusóand Exposing Her Cooter
Generally stage moms/dads are desperate. If their kid isn't making it, they'll try anything that's working for other kids. Your kid lost a part to a little girl with curls? Off to the salon! Some ho with a wonky eye is making millions just showing up at parties? A good hard punch every week or [...]
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Also tagged Britney Spears, celebrity nudity, celebs in bikinis, upskirt shots
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