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Tag Archives: celebrity deaths

Michael Jackson Memorial Hoe-Down

Good day. It is July 7, 2009, and Michael Jackson is still dead. In fact, cuz is going to be memorialized today. And you can watch it live on TMZ! Because a century ago, when the greatest minds of the time were inventing things to propel us into the space age, this is what they [...]

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Well, This Is a Mess

Hey, everybody, it's Wednesday, July 1 and Michael Jackson is still dead. Here's the crap for today.
ï TMZ is saying that the piglets seized a crazy dangerous and hard-to-get drug from MJ's home that will most likely turn out to be the cause of his death.
We're told the drug Propofol was discovered at [...]

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I, Michael Jackson, Being of Sound Mind and Reconstructed Polymer Body

One thing has been really bothering us about Michael Jackson's death. And that's the thought of how Dove Lady from his kid-diddling trial is holding up. Is she self-flagellating? Is she on a hunger strike? Has she crawled inside a cage to weep and coo sadly? While we ponder her fate, here's the latest on [...]

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Michael Jackson Death: The Latest and Greatest

It's Monday, and Michael Jackson is still deceased. He did not rise from the dead like Lazarus or like, perhaps, like a beautiful noseless white phoenix from flame. Dude's still gone, and shit is getting weirder. Here's a brief wrap-up of the main points:
ï On her MySpace blog, MJ's ex-wife Lisa Marie Presley wrote:
Our [...]

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Madonna Is Wicked Crazy Bummed

As the news of Michael Jackson's death reaches around the globe, we're seeing an outpouring of emotion. From celebrities. Via Twitter and stuff. Tila Tequila tweeted:
"Been layin in bed all night blasting MJ music and watching videos. This is truly an epic and historical moment"
Sir Paul McCartney said:
"He was a massively talented boy man with [...]

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MJ OD? RIP.

He fought to stay alive, but his body started to shiver. No mere mortal can resist the evil of the . . . Demerol?
A lot of the shock of the sudden death of Michael Jackson has faded a little, and we've started to let the light in. At any rate, we've started to chuckle a [...]

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Michael Jackson Dead at 50

WORST UPDATE: Michael Jackson has died, says TMZ. Hopefully he's dancing around the pearly gates with Farrah. RIP, man.
Michael suffered a cardiac arrest earlier this afternoon at his Holmby Hills home and paramedics were unable to revive him. We're told when paramedics arrived Jackson had no pulse and they never got a pulse back.
A source [...]

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RIP Farrah Fawcett

Farrah Fawcett just died. Well, that completely sucks.

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R.I.P. Ed McMahon

It's never funny when celebrities die. Except maybe that time Isadora Duncan bit it when her long scarf got caught in the wheels of her convertible. I mean, what are the odds? Hahahaha! Good times, good times. Anyway, Ed McMahon has departed this mortal coil at the fine old age of 86. CNN reports:
Ed McMahon, [...]

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David Carradine's Chicken Was Choked?

We wanted to leave the David Carradine death story alone because Kung Fu was chill and making fun of people dying is never funny unless they die of choking on a wiener or something. Which is pretty close to what may have happened to Mr. Carradine. Yesterday morning he was found dead in a closet [...]

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