“Patrick Swayze passed away peacefully today with family at his side after facing the challenges of his illness for the last 20 months,” said a statement released Monday evening by his publicist, Annett Wolf. No other details were given.

Fans of the actor were saddened to learn in March 2008 that Swayze was suffering from a particularly deadly form of cancer.

When he first went public with the illness, some reports gave him only weeks to live, but his doctor said his situation was “considerably more optimistic” than that.

“I’d say five years is pretty wishful thinking,” Swayze told ABC’s Barbara Walters in early 2009. “Two years seems likely if you’re going to believe statistics. I want to last until they find a cure, which means I’d better get a fire under it.”

He lived to get radical. RIP, man.

. . . The King of Pop was given an intimate, private version of the lavish public memorial held shortly after his death in June.

When it was over, many of the the 200 mourners hugged each other. Among them were Elizabeth Taylor, Jackson’s ex-wife Lisa Marie Presley, Barry Bonds and Macaulay Culkin.

The Rev. Al Sharpton, who gave a eulogy at the public event and at Thursday’s service, also extolled Knight’s earlier performance of “His Eye is on the Sparrow.”

“Gladys Knight sang her heart out. Now we prepare to lay him to rest,” Sharpton posted on his Twitter account during the service that was held outside and then within the marble mausoleum.

Sharpton Twittered? During the service??? Is nothing sacred anymore? Did he also make the mourners have a moment of silence so he could secretly steal over to the coffin, press his cheek against it, hold out his iPhone, and make the kissy face for a new Facebook profile pic? Did he stop mid-eulogy to take a cell call, like, “Hey, what’s up! . . . Nothin’, at the Michael Jackson funeral, did you hear back from Derek? Yeah, yeah . . . Hold up, Lisa did WHAT? Oh hell NO she did not! That skank ass bitch!”

We Twitter too. Follow us.

Our sources say DJ AM, a recovering addict, developed a dependency to Xanax and other benzodiazepines as a direct result of the plane crash a year ago. We’re told AM developed a tremendous anxiety over flying — something he had to do frequently for his job. We’re told doctors began prescribing Xanax and other anti-anxiety medications to relieve his fear, but the benzos triggered a relapse into addiction.

Our sources say DJ AM’s relapse was “recent” — he was not abusing for a prolonged period of time before his death. We’re also told the OD had “absolutely nothing to do with his recent breakup.”

Our sources say the evidence strongly indicates cause of death will be a combination of crack cocaine and benzos.

This is a tragedy! Now rich celebrities won’t be about to hear kicking mashups of Kanye West and “Barbie Girl” at parties anymore. Aw, that was mean. RIP AM. You seemed like a good person and you banged Mandy Moore.

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L.A. County coroner’s officials found lethal levels of the powerful anesthetic propofol after examining Michael Jackson’s body.

Jackson’s doctor, Conrad Murray, told detectives . . .  that he had been treating Jackson for insomnia for about six weeks. He had been giving Jackson 50 milligrams of propofol every night using an intravenous line.

And on the morning of Mike Jack’s death, Dr. Murray laid off the propofol, thinking Jackson was addicted, and instead, gave him some Valium at 1:30 A.M. It didn’t work, so Murray shot him up with lorazepam. That didn’t work, so he then shot him full of midazolam. Over the next few hours, MJ was given “various other drugs” until Murray gave him and administered the lethal dose of propofol at 10:40 A.M., took a leak, and when he got back, the King of Pop was King of Dead.

Call us crazy, but if we spent nine hours getting pumped full of sleepy juice and were still kicking, we’d just shrug and accept that sleep wasn’t happening and go try to do something productive. Soapbox racing. Origami. Batik. Collecting lifesized statues of underage children and arranging them in suggestive manners in a room full of Shirley Temple memorabilia. Whatever.

• Rihanna’s bringing back the Gumby. You go, girl. (Yeeeah!)
• Top 100 Celebrity Nude Scenes of All Time! Shut the door, turn off your phone, and dig into #40-31. (Mr Skin)
• Lake Bell in a see-through bra for GQ. Who’s Lake Bell? Who cares! (The Blemish)
• Michael Jackson’s doctor will most likely be charged with manslaughter. (TMZ)
• Paris Hilton claims that MJ named his daughter after her. Wait a minute, Michael Jackson’s daughter is named VD Farmer? (Celebrity Milkshake)
• Kelis had a baby boy after 67 hours of labor. That’s right. That’s a 6 and a 7. Not a typo. (Amy Grindhouse)
• Evangeline Lilly and Dominic Monaghan: the romance of the hobbit and the hottie is back on. (Celebitchy)
• A touching stroll through the halls of Celebrity Drunkface. (Cityrag)
• Amy Winehouse is as innocent as the Snuggle Bear on a spring morn. Fly free, little crackie! (Bitten and Bound)

Multiple sources in the Jackson family tell us even if Katherine Jackson gets custody of Michael Jackson's kids, Michael's big sister Rebbie Jackson will raise the children. The 59-year-old singer, who shares a home in Las Vegas with her hubby of over 20 years, has kept a low public profile, but privately she has been deeply involved in the lives of Michael's children.

We're told Rebbie is currently living with Katherine at the family's Encino home and is caring for the kids day-to-day. As for the kids … they all adore her. Whether she eventually becomes the custodial parent in name or not, she will end up with the primary responsibility of raising Michael's three children.

Honestly, this one's a no-brainer. When it comes to the Jacksons , it's pretty easy to figure out who the sane one is. The entire family probably got together to discern the best person to care for the children, and Katherine asked, "OK, who here had children with an in-law, or had a sibling have children with their spouse?" and Randy and Jermaine held up their hands. The next question was, "Who was whipped, whalloped, and suckerpunched into becoming a childhood breadwinner?" and Marlon, Tito, and Jackie raised their hands. Then she asked, "Who here thinks that no nose is better than a nose, or that coffee enemas are a nutritious balanced breakfast?" and Latoya and Janet raised their hands. That left Rebbie! Problem solved.

Omer Bhatti, a 25-year-old Norwegian dancer, is thought to be the singer's child from a one night stand in 1984.

Michael, who passed away last month, is said to have admitted to friends in 2004 he was his father. Omer is now believed to be seeking a DNA test to determine if he is a descendant of the 'King of Pop'.

The performer was also given a front row seat at Michael's memorial service on July 7, sitting next to the star's brothers and sisters, fuelling speculation he is related to the pop icon.

Judging by this video, Bhatti looks a bit like Jackson and dances a bit like him too. But he said that Billie Jean was not his lover, even though when the baby cried his eyes were like his! The kid was not his son! WTF!

Are you tired of MJ stories? Us too. But that's not going to stop us from talking about him constantly. Follow us on Twitter and we'll obsess together.

ï Debbie Rowe and her lawyers say that she did NOT receive a $4 million "payoff" from Katherine Jackson, and that she will not seek custody of Prince Michael and Paris. She'll just continue to receive the payments she and MJ settled on after their divorce. Granted, custody of the kids would mean a giant payday, but rest assured, Deb has enough dough to keep her in lonesome wolf T-shirts for many happy years to come.

ï The other day, LaToya Jackson claimed that Michael was MURDERED! And we all laughed because LaToya is a funny lady. But it turns out, the funny lady speaks truth. TMZ confirms:
Multiple law enforcement sources tell TMZ the LAPD is already treating Michael Jackson's death as a homicide, and they are focusing on Dr. Conrad Murray.

Law enforcement sources tell us the evidence points to the anesthesia Propofol as the primary cause of Jackson's death. . . [and] there is already "plenty of powerful evidence" linking Dr. Murray as the person who administered the drug to Jackson. The evidence includes various items found in Jackson's house, including the Propofol, an IV stand and oxygen tank.

In anyone else's house, that would be a cut and dry indication of murder, but in MJ's house, an IV stand is just another collectible chilling out next to the life-sized child mannequins.

ï Finally, Michael's brick-browed father Joe Jackson claims that he never laid a hand on his children. He told ABC News:

"Michael was never beat as they call it. Everyone spanked their kids when they did wrong, but not beat. Katherine spanked Michael more than I did, because I was working two jobs and she was at home with him the most."

Nah, Joe never beat him. Whipped him, smacked him, punched him, pinched him, drop-kicked him, nunchucked him, stabbed him, and pistol-whipped him, sure. Just not beat.

ï Technical difficulties. Lots of them.
ï Janet looking F-I-E-R-C-E in a 1940s get-up, like Bonnie at Clyde's funeral if Bonnie hadn't also died and then attended Clyde's funeral because he did die or something.
ï Jermaine not singing "Dynamite" and Rebbie not singing "Centipede".
ï John Mayer playing a guitar Musak instrumental "Human Nature" while making his patented "blowing a load" face.
ï Everyone on stage expressing their condolences to Michael's mom and siblings, but never his dad.
ï Maya Angelou poem. Duh, it was a somber gathering of luminaries. Of course there would be an Angelou poem.
ï Magic Johnson talking about KFC.
ï Al Sharpton implying that Michael Jackson caused Obama to be elected.
ï Brooke Shields, being the only other cracker onstage other than Mayer.
ï Usher (who was not an usher) in sunglasses singing to Michael's gilded casket which looked oddly like a chafing dish.
ï And then, a dwarf Chaz Bono took the stage and sang!
ï And then, at the very very end, when our faces hurt from chuckling at the overblown pretension of it all, when our bowels were churning uncomfortably, MJ's adorable daughter Paris took the mic and with one tearful sentence: "I Just wanted to say that ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you can ever imagine. And I just want to say I love him. So much" completely made us forget about the pompous spectacle and melted our tarry little black hearts and made us feel horrible for making all the ha-has. Paris touched us. Touched us like her dad touched . . . what? We were going to say "touched us like her dad touched the baby tiger on the Thriller cover." Jeeeeeez.