Tag Archives: celebrity BFF
Paris, Lindsay, and Britney To Star in World's Greatest Imaginary Sitcom
Do you find television boring? Are there just not enough rehab/jail experienced blonde bimbos on it (barring Rock of Love, of course) for your tastes? Do you wish someone would turn Us Weekly into a weekly series? Well, good news: Your favorite tabloid darlings, Paris, Lindsay, and Britney are going to star in a sitcom [...]
Aubrey O'Day Licks Pole, Talks Anal Sex
In our minds, Danity Kane is one giant step below The Pussycat Dolls. And The Pussycat Dolls are one giant step below the tranny contestant on America's Next Top Model. What's one giant step below Danity Kane? Don't know. Maybe She-Daisy? Paris Hilton's dog walker? Anyway, Danity Kane is pretty low on our celebrity list. [...]
If You Want to Be My Chicken It Don't Matter If You're Extra Crispy
Back in 1983, we often dreamed about what it would be like to hang out with Michael Jackson. We pictured an amusement park with no lines, strolling hand in hand with a chimp, and a room filled with arcade games. In reality, there probably would have been more Jesus juice and tickle fights, though as [...]
Angelina Jolie Seeks Titty Tonguing Advice from Tera Patrick
We know that not everything printed in Page Six is 100% accurate. But usually we trust it more than Lizzie Lezzie's Blog of Fantasies and Lies. Usually. But not today. Today they want us to believe that Angelina Jolie has lingerie-clad pillow fights with porn star Tera Patrick. Because that's what girlfriends do, right? Sayeth [...]
Is Maria Sharapova Lying Sharap-unda Camilla Belle?
If you are a famous lady in Los Angeles, and you have a female friend, the two of you are either "frenemies" or you are "lesbians". That is the way of the Hollywood. Or, rather, that is the way of all of you fat dude sweating behind your computers, feverishly imagining Nicole Richie and Paris [...]
Casting Begun for Paris's Parasite
Every day we inch closer and closer to Paris Hilton's return to serialized television. One day in the near future you will turn on MTV (unless you are like us, i.e., not 18, in which case you'll probably be watching Law & Order or that show where dads beat each other up or something) and [...]
Be Paris Hilton's BFF. We're Sure It Won't Be As Bad As It Sounds.
Paris Hilton has had pretty bad luck with friends. Nicole Richie deserted her in an effort to be normal. She seemed to trigger Britney Spears's crazy gene, with unbelievable consequences. And Kim Kardashian's ass got sick of battling with Paris's feet for the title of most comically large appendage and bailed. So now Paris is [...]
Katie Holmes Thinks Victoria Beckham Is Trashy, Orange
In the world of celebrity BBFs, there must occasionally be causalities. Where once we had the undying mutual admiration of Paris and Nicole or Kid and Play, we now have nothing. No shining beacons to teach us how to love platonically. It is a sad, sad world that cannot sustain such friendships, but it's an [...]
Eva Longoria Takes Posh Spice Dildo Shopping
If you were new to L.A. and searching for advice on where to get your bob trimmed or your labes waxed or who sells the very best Swarovski-encrusted butt plugs, surely you'd turn to Eva Longoria just like Victoria Beckham did. That Posh is a smart girl. Our gossip KY enthusiast, FemaleFirst, reports:
Eva Longoria has [...]
Liv Tyler Greets Kate Bosworth with Hearty Face Sucking
After finally enabling comments yesterday, we were pretty shocked at the results. Who knew that angry Claymates read CelebNewsWire? Certainly not us. We were expecting 90% of the comments to read: "More hardcore girl-on-girl action, please," with the other 10% of respondents requesting that we lick their balls. And since we've already reached our RDA [...]