I love the smell of diapers; I even like when they’re wet and you smell them all warm liked a baked good. I love the smell of Balmex. Love it.

Other smells SJP is fond of? Taco burps. Cod liver oil. Retirement homes. The Dumpster behind Joe’s Crab Shack. You know, normal stuff.

“I couldn’t find my way out and asked someone to show me the door.” He opened the door he was led to, and “there was Courtney Love, sitting on the toilet with her skirt around her ankles.”

Karnaby says he was shocked and slammed the door shut, but that wasn’t enough for Love. He relates, “She stormed out screaming, ‘I am going to get you thrown out!’ She jumped on me, went crazy and dragged me over to security by the arm and claimed that I’d attacked her.

“They were trying to calm her down, but she was out of control. She was like a possessed woman.

“I absolutely did not attack her — I was trying to get away,” Karnaby said. “Thankfully, she’d remembered to pull up her skirt.”

He says security told him, “It’s best you get away as fast as possible.”

“I never wanted to see Courtney Love on the toilet,” he said. “It wasn’t a pretty sight. I just wanted to get out of there.”

We’re really glad that the man told us that Courtney remembered to pull up her skirt. If he hadn’t, we would have assumed that Courtney was beating the man over the head and pulling him toward security with her skirt around her ankles and a wad of TP in her hand. It seems pretty natural.

The 'So What' singer was enjoying a bike trip in Australia with husband Carey Hart, but when the pair stopped for a toilet break the excited amphibian jumped at Pink's face.

A source said: "They were relieving themselves by the road when a frog jumped up and hit Pink bang in the eyes. She freaked."

God, the mental image of Pink squatting down taking a pee when a frog jumps up and beams her in the eyes may be the best we've ever encountered. Maybe it would be better if her biking attire included a tutu and a Viking helmet, but really this is good enough. But what could have been the frog's motive? Did the frog read about Pink's involvement with PETA in Animal (People's less-successful sister publication) and get all up in arms? (Or up in legs or tentacles or whatever frogs call them?) "Why's she so worried about all those cows and chickens? Doesn't she know people eat frogs too? Where's the boycott on my behalf? Here's a protest idea: 'I'd rather hop through fire than eat frogs.' And people would hop through rings of fire while wearing frog costumes. Wait. That doesn't sound right. Let me think on this a bit and I'll have my secretary get back to you. YES, frogs can have secretaries. Gawd, you're so uncultured."

'After sitting with a few pals at her VIP table she dragged her friend Bridget into the loos.

'They tried to go into the toilet cubicle together but they were stopped by the toilet attendant.

'The lady said to her, "What are you doing? You are not allowed to go in together, you have to come out now."

'Mischa looked really p***ed off and embarrassed but her friend was fine about it.'

Despite a long queue, Mischa then decided to go into another cubicle alone – but her night didn't get any better.

She apparently took so long that the attendant was forced to check if she was feeling okay.

An onlooker said: 'She took so long to emerge that everyone was worried about her.

'At one point the toilet attendant had to knock on her door twice to ask if she was alright. Then her mate was knocking to check she was feeling okay.'

The source added: 'When she came out of the cubicle, she was complaining about people knocking on the door. She looked slightly worse for wear as she attempted to apply her make-up.'

See, the thing is, how can we make fun of that? Sad people make our job harder, and we don't like that. We prefer the whole, "Hey everybody, look at the girl who forgot to buy tampons" over "Hey everybody, look at the poor washed up star with a drug problem." It's much more fun being an asshole when people are stupid rather than pathetic. If only she came out of the stall with her underwear on her head. That we could make fun of.

He shared that when you're sweating and don't have time to take a shower, you just take a baby wipe and rub it under your armpits. After a scene, Brad had to get next to me for a close-up shot, and he said, 'Damn, you're ripe.' I said, 'I didnít have time to shower.' He said, 'Baby wipes, man, baby wipes. I got six kids. All you've got to do is just take them, a couple quick wipes under the pits. Man, I'm getting [peed] on all day. I don't have time to take a shower.'

See, celebrities are just like us. No, we're not talking about the changing diapers thing. We mean that Brad obviously heard about one of our favorite celebrity tales, in which Michael Douglas's young son goes pee-pee on Daddy's back, and Brad, admiring Mike's work in such classic films as Basic Instinct and One Night at McCool's, thought this tactic might be part of Douglas's key to success. Idol emulation and water sports, all at the same time.

Britney Spears has cleaned up her act ó but sheís still kind of a mess. The pop tart took time off from her ìCircusî tour to do an Elle magazine shoot, our spy says, and it was a disaster.

ìThey dressed her in all these beautiful couture clothes ó and, well, letís just say she forgot what time of the month it was. It wasnít pretty.î

Has she never read Are You There God, It's Me Margaret? Eleven year olds have a better grasp of feminine hygiene than Britney. If you stand a foot away from Old Faithful, you have less of a chance getting drenched than standing next to Britney Spears at the end of her monthly cycle.

"I'm the type of person who, when I'm in the jungle working with Matthew Fox, will just crouch beside a bush three feet away and take a pee."

That's pretty cool, and we can definitely relate. We're pretty similar, Evangeline Lilly and us. Only instead of urinating three feet from Matthew Fox in the jungle, we squatted down and took a dump next to Michael BublÈ on the sidewalk cafe adjacent to Figaro Cafe. Why? Ask BublÈ. Ask BublÈ.

Yes! And yes! More than a few times to both. And he gets the joke when he pees on me. He laughs. He laughs his butt off! I think I am [good at changing diapers]. I could have a race-off with some other dads out there.

We've always heard that Matthew McConaughey has a pretty non-existent relationship with things such as deodorant and showers and soap. So a little bit of piss mixed in with his heady natural aroma ain't no big thing.