I sleep naked … She was kissing me, and suddenly, she woke up. She saw my nipple, and oh my God, she went for it. If I wasn’t fast, my nipple is gone. She thought it was a toy or something.

Can you blame the pussy? Bai Ling’s nipples are roughly the size of baby dicks. While Bai’s sleeping we’re betting they flail around like a snoozing pooch’s legs. How could a playful kitty not pounce?

The Cessna prop plane landed safely … but here’s the problem — the pilot forgot to set the parking brake after the plane came to a stop. He was in the back helping Brooke and Jim out … when the plane rolled into a 2010 Buick SUV. The wing struck the SUV … but the SUV got the worst of it.

We’re told no one was injured, but the NTSB was notified.

It’s cool, everybody. Even if Brooke was still on the plane when it rolled willy-nilly down the runway, her luxuriant, Latisse-fed eyelashes would wrap around Belushi’s waist, then reach out to a neighboring telephone pole and swing them to safety. Look at those fuckers! They’re glorious!

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Robert Pattinson is as creepy as his fictional blood-lusting counterpart; sends Kristen Stewart 400 texts a month. (Celebitchy)

• Ashley Olsen in her underwear. Hey, don’t look at us. You were the one with the Olsen Twins Countdown to Legality calendar on your computer for years, nerd. (Cityrag)

• Getting down to the wire here! Mr Skin’s Top 100 Celebrity Nude Scenes: numbers 20 through 11. (Mr Skin)

• Cindy Crawford in a bikini. You liked it in 1992, and you’ll like it just as much in 2009. She must be drinking out of Brangelina’s sex grotto. (The Blemish)

• Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore almost crashed on a plane; live to Twitter again. (Anything Hollywood)

• Tiger Woods cut the cheese!!! (Gone Hollywood)

• Jessica Simpson enjoys a quaff or twelve at her hairdo dude’s birthday party. (Amy Grindhouse)

• 5 Movies John Hughes will be remembered fer. (Jezebel)

• Milla Jovovich collects knives. How Angelina 1998. (Daily Stab)

The 'So What' singer was enjoying a bike trip in Australia with husband Carey Hart, but when the pair stopped for a toilet break the excited amphibian jumped at Pink's face.

A source said: "They were relieving themselves by the road when a frog jumped up and hit Pink bang in the eyes. She freaked."

God, the mental image of Pink squatting down taking a pee when a frog jumps up and beams her in the eyes may be the best we've ever encountered. Maybe it would be better if her biking attire included a tutu and a Viking helmet, but really this is good enough. But what could have been the frog's motive? Did the frog read about Pink's involvement with PETA in Animal (People's less-successful sister publication) and get all up in arms? (Or up in legs or tentacles or whatever frogs call them?) "Why's she so worried about all those cows and chickens? Doesn't she know people eat frogs too? Where's the boycott on my behalf? Here's a protest idea: 'I'd rather hop through fire than eat frogs.' And people would hop through rings of fire while wearing frog costumes. Wait. That doesn't sound right. Let me think on this a bit and I'll have my secretary get back to you. YES, frogs can have secretaries. Gawd, you're so uncultured."

AMY WINEHOUSE suffered agonising burns to her leg as she cooked pasta for local chums on a Caribbean island, it emerged last night.

The Back To Black singer, 25, had an accident while rustling up a meal in the sun-kissed paradise of St Lucia. Pals said a kitchen pot tipped over, dousing her with scalding water. But Amy made no attempt to cover the scars before calmly wandering down a beach in denim hotpants. Her wounds ó covered in sand ó looked as though they needed a good clean as she walked shoeless in a skimpy red top.

One holidaymaker said: "Amyís wounds looked so painfully sore ó she really should cover them up or get herself under an umbrella. They were covered in sand too. We couldnít believe she wasnít keeling over in pain."

But Amyís spokesman Kirk Sommer said: "Sheís not in a lot of pain, sheís just letting it breathe."

Although a cooking accident sounds like a more plausible excuse than the one given last night on Entertainment Tonightóthe above picture with the caption "Amy Winehouse: LEPROSY?"ówe can think of five things involving Amy Winehouse and fire that don't involve macaroni. One is a crack pipe. Two is a bong. Three is a bowl. Four is a heroin spoon. Five is sparklers. Yaaaaayyyyy, sparklers!

After the fall, about 10 people, including 22-year-old boy toy Jesus Luz, nervously gathered around her before emergency workers arrived.

She was carried into an ambulance on a backboard and rushed to Southampton Hospital with Klein by her side. A police source said the injuries did not appear serious and she was taken to the hospital for precautionary reasons.

The Material Momís day began when she and her sons Rocco, 8, and David, 3, took a helicopter from Manhattan and landed at East Hampton airport around 2p.m. She then went straight to Kleinís compound for what should have been a relaxing day in the sun.

It's hard to feel sorry for someone who took a spill off a thoroughbred stallion at a country cottage in the Hamptons. That's like doing a fund drive for one of the Real Housewives after she was forced to buy off the rack.

Actress Natasha Richardson was hospitalized on Monday afternoon in MontrÈal after suffering a serious head injury, PEOPLE has confirmed.

The Tony-winning star, 45, was first brought to Centre Hospitalier Laurentien near the Mont Tremblant winter resort following a skiing accident. At 5 p.m. she was transferred to HÙpital du SacrÈ-Coeur de MontrÈal.

Her husband, actor Liam Neeson, 56, left the set of a movie he was filming in Toronto and rushed to his wife's side, reports AccessHollywoood.com.

"Liam Neeson left the Toronto set immediately to fly to Montreal upon news of his wifeís accident," a rep for his film Chloe said in a statement to Canadian TV. "We do not have any details at this time but we hope for the best and our thoughts and prayers are with Natasha and Liam and their family."

Richardson ñ daughter of famed British actress Vanessa Redgrave, 72, and producer Tony Richardson, who died in 1991 ñ has been married to Neeson since 1994. The couple have two sons: Micheal, 13, and Daniel, 12.

We think Natasha Richardson stands amongst our favorite celebrities, right near Cate Blanchett and Julianne Moore. Thanks to ABC Family and TBS, we've probably seen The Parent Trap roughly 42 times, and we couldn't think of a better movie mom than Natasha. Sure, that luck didn't exactly help Lindsay Lohan, but her real-life mom probably canceled out all of Natasha's excellence. CelebNewsWire wishes Natasha a speedy recovery.

Kate Moss and boyfriend Jamie Hince played down some mysterious cuts and bruises saying it was a 'Christmas decoration accident.'

The supermodel arrived at the Christmas lights switch-on at Stella McCartneyís Mayfair shop on Monday with The Kills guitarist Hince, with scrapes down her cheek, while Hince was sporting a black eye.

But as eyebrows were raised among the other guests, they quashed any rumours by saying it was the result of a bizarre accident involving holly and baubles.

The injuries did not stop party girl Moss, 34,enjoying the bash.

A fellow guest said: 'Jamie and Kate couldnít stop chuckling when people gingerly asked about their injuries.

'He said he was on a ladder and she was waiting at the bottom for him to pass down the boxes of decorations.

'But he lost his grip on one and heavy decorations landed on their heads.'

This is some serious shit right here. Obviously we are on the brink of an inanimate object uprising. Soon Kate's flat iron will clamp its hot little jaws around her wrist, and while she screams in pain, a box of safety pins will go right for her eyes while the blow dryer wraps its cord around her neck. And after the toilet becomes Kate's master, no one will be safe.


See Kate Moss nude at MrSkin.com.