Tag Archives: Catherine Zeta-Jones
They Rubbed Her Nose In It
Dear Catherine Zeta-Jones's makeup artist:
We appreciate what you tried to do here. Generally when someone is sporting a pair of zits on one's chin, the best thing to do is play up another feature to draw the eye away from the offending pustules. But by that we mean maybe a nice smoky eye or a [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
1 Comment
Catherine Zeta-Jones Tries To Get Our Attention by Talking About Nudity, Succeeds
We have been a little undeservedly harsh on Catherine Zeta-Jones in the past. We never intend to be mean, but it just sort of comes out that way. It's probably due to that one time we were sick in bed and the remote fell on the floor while we watching something on HBO and when [...]
Catherine Zeta-Jones: A Head Full of Fish Eggs
The gossip world is generally pretty lacking in the Catherine Zeta-Jones category, mostly because she's really, really boring and seems like the type of shrew who would threaten to have your children kidnapped and tortured (or at least have you banned from the Ivy, which could be just as bad in Hollywood) if you even [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Leave a comment
"Pee-pee on Daddy's Back!"
Being the offspring of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones has got to be rough. First Daddy looks like the psychotic version of David Crosby, but without the mellowing effects of weed. Then there's the inevitable blow-up when you misstate Mommy's age to one of your playground friends. "Do you think Mommy's some kind of monster? [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged celebrity bathroom habits, celebrity offspring, Michael Douglas
Comments Off
Catherine Zeta-Jones Gets Stabby
Lots of women are jealous types, and if they catch another broad making eyes at their man, they'll unleash a torrent of cussing, biting, scratching, hairpulling, pudding wrestling, and possibly foxy boxing. But Catherine Zeta-Jones's jealousy and insanity are at levels previously uncharted by humans, and she says if she catches any ho looking at [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Abracadabra Kal-El Shazam!
- Nicolas Cage explains "Kal-El", the incredibly stupid moniker with which he has saddled his son: "Alice and I wanted to have a name that was exotic and American and which stood for something good, because our son is exotic and he's American and we both think he's good. But having said that, I [...]
Catherine Zeta-Jones Replenishes the Air in Her Head
OK, we know that rich and famous people spend their wads of cash on pretty stupid things (when theyíre not getting really expensive crap for free, that is). We canít count how many times Paris Hilton or Britney Spears has sent us a dog turd to cover in gold and diamonds (and our mom said [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Comments Off
CNW Junk Drawer: Tom and Katie Search Mythical Cabbage Patch for Baby
ï Colin Farrell gets restraining order against Nicole Narain–he's afraid that pesky sex tape will harm his "reputation and career". His reputation is that of a serial ass-tapper; his last movie was Alexander. Dude has nowhere to go but up.
ï Joss Stone has a bum double in a Gap advert? Why, we're bloody [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged advertisements, Angelina Jolie, celebrity deaths, Celebrity Sex Tapes, Colin Farrell, Gwen Stefani, Joss Stone, Katie Holmes, Nicole Narain, Tom Cruise
Comments Off
Facelift Attraction
Michael Douglas is 60. In Hollywood, this doesn't normally matter–that's about the age when its male stars film a string of romantic comedies opposite your Amanda Peets or your Heather Grahams. But Mike is married to notorious shrieking harridan Catherine Zeta-Jones, who is probably just now realizing that although those Douglas dollars are still fun [...]
Julia's Preggo Craving: Top Billing!
Blame it on the hormones: knocked-up superstar Julia Roberts is allegedly hopping mad that Catherine Zeta-Jones has been given top billing on posters for upcoming stinker Ocean's Twelve.