CelebNewsWire» Cameron Diaz Archives – CelebNewsWire

Feeling Minnesota (and Each Other)

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 16:37:21 +0000

The media likes to focus on the unlovableness of Jennifer Aniston, but honestly, let’s not forget Cameron Diaz. She’s long in the tooth in Hollywood years, insiders say her pustules rival a 9th grade boy’s, and she hasn’t had a long-term relationship since Justin Timberlake. But that all might change, because she went on a date! With Johnny Utah! The Sun reports:

CAMERON DIAZ has been spotted on a date with Speed star KEANU REEVES. The couple dined together at a secluded restaurant in Los Angeles before heading off to a cinema until the early hours.

An onlooker at low-key eatery the Whisper Lounge in Los Angeles said of Cameron and Keanu: “They looked very cozy. Cameron was stuffing her burger in her mouth and playing up the fact that she has that wide mouth. Keanu was laughing – it was strange to see him giggling like that as he’s regarded as a bit serious.”

Well, we thought this sounded pretty innocent and friendly until we got to the burger part. You don’t attempt a move like cramming an entire cheeseburger into your maw unless you mean business. Sex business. It’s the equivalent of eating an entire pizza or crushing a beer can on your head. Or setting your farts on fire, a little move I like to call The Panty Obliterator.

Hey. Hey. Hey you. Hey. Hey. Follow us on Twitter.

CNW Junk Drawer: MF T&A in UK GQ

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:43:52 +0000

All the pics from Megan Fox’s UK GQ shoot. That should keep you busy. (Yeeeah!)
David Carradine was found dead in a hotel room in Bangkok. Grasshopper, no! (TMZ)
Melissa Joan Hart was praying that Farrah Fawcett wouldn’t die . . . because that would have bumped her off the cover of people. Melissa Joan Hartless. Tsk tsk, little teenage witch. (The Blemish)
Sandra Bullock says she’s going to be nude in The Proposal. We call Sandra Bullshit on this one. (Fatback)
Did Cameron Diaz get her face chopped up? (Cityrag)
Speaking of Cam, she says she wants a fat ass. (Amy Grindhouse)
Joe Jonas does a video parody of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”. You’re two months too late on this one, homey. What next, a “leave Britney alone” parody? Play him off, keyboard cat. (Allie Is Wired)
Billy Bob Thornton’s daughter killed a baby. You heard us. (Celeb Warship)
Who do the voodoo that you do? Nicolas Cage do that voodoo. Doo doo. (Daily Stab)
Kate Hudson is serious about bouncing on A-Rod. (Pop on the Pop)

CNW Junk Drawer: Sabrina Gives You a Sa-bonah

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 28 May 2009 18:07:11 +0000

Sabrina the Teenage HOT DAMN girl looks nice in a bikini. (Daily Stab)
Hilary Duff’s sister Haylie Duff got a new mug. (Yeeeah!)
Chris Brown pulls an Elephant Man and says “I’m not a monster”. Cool, but you’re still A ASSHOLE! (Anything Hollywood)
Michael Lohan got arrested. Again. He’s a nurturing caregiver and a wonderful role model. (The Blemish)
Charlotte Gainsbourg strips on the beach and shows us just how Frenchly fluffy her Gainsbourger really is. (Mr Skin)
Mike Tyson’s young daughter died. Hey, that’s not funny. (Allie Is Wired)
Cameron Diaz is aging and alone, but she doesn’t give a crap because she looks so foiiiiinnnnne in her bikini. (Celebrity Milkshake)
Here’s one for all our legions of 13-year-old female fans (all 0 of you! Hi!): Robert Pattinson shirtless, afflicted with some sort of Sharpie polka dot skin disease. (Celebitchy)
Megan Fox photo shoot. I know this is weird, but it’s a sexy photoshoot depicting Meg in a slinky dress. Bizarre. (Drunken Stepfather)
Courtney Love owes American Express $352,059. That sounds about right. (Hollywood Grind)
Lady Gaga is bi-bi. (Derek Hail)

CNW Junk Drawer: Cannes You Dig It

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 21 May 2009 18:19:38 +0000

Brad’s all, “C’mon, Angelina, we have to get to Cannes” and she’s all, “Hold up, Brad, I gotta show the paps a little more of where Shilohs come from.” (Yeeeah!)
Maria Bello. Topless. Tied to a bed. Believe it. (Nudography)
And speaking of Maria Bello, did you know that she was from the greater Philadelphia area? Isn’t that fascinating? Yeah! And it just so happens that Mr Skin has a Top 10 Sexiest Babes from Philly list out now! (Mr Skin)
Adriana Lima’s nipples in a gilded cage of a bra. (Drunken Stepfather)
Rihanna’s got a brand new, hopefully much less punchy, beau. (Amy Grindhouse)
Lady Gaga learns a sobering lesson. Bleached hair and skimpy white clothing with lots of jewelry makes folks think you’re a Russian prostitute. (Faded Youth)
Cameron Diaz has strict “if it’s yellow, let it mellow” rules. (Daily Stab)
Britney Spears in a bikini on the beach. No, you can go look. It’s nice! Seriously. Hey, hey. Look at us. Look. It’s okay. It’s okay. Really. Shhhh. (The Blemish)
Is Lindsay Lohan getting her poon chewn by Sam again? (Holy Moly)
Hayden Panettiere’s tattoo is spelled wrong. LOLOLOLOLOL. LOLOLOL forever. (Flisted)

A Bunch of People Who Have Too Much Damn Money

Agent E. — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:16:41 +0000

Most people go to the office, work super hard while their bosses are out playing golf, and instead of heaps of credit and a corner office and huge pay raises they get an FTD teddy bear bouquet as a Christmas bonus. But movie stars aren't like most people. They make a decent flick or two then it's off to A-list land, where no paycheck has fewer than seven zeros and nobody cares if you actually do good work as long as your famous name appears above the title. This is how movie stars get to foist piles of dog shit at the public, call them "blockbusters", and get paid at least 20 mil for the effort. But there are a few stars that the rich man's periodical Forbes thinks need to start earning minimum wage to learn a lesson or two.

1. Nicole Kidman
2. Jennifer Garner
3. Tom Cruise
4. Cameron Diaz
5. Jennifer Lopez
6. Jim Carrey
7. Nicolas Cage
8. Drew Barrymore
9. Will Ferrell
10. Cate Blanchett

Moist of these we understand; what a bunch of turkeys these hacks have turned out (besides the lovely, talented, irreplaceable, poured-from-porcelain Cate Blanchett, of course). But Cameron Diaz? She is worth every single shiny penny. Did you see What Happens in Vegas? That film was a touching tale of how to find love through humility that spoke to every single human being with a beating heart. And you just can't put a price on meaning like that.

CNW Junk Drawer: Heidi Christ, Superstar

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:14:12 +0000

ï Reality show star/monster Heidi Montag promises to make a Christian album, compares herself to Jesus. "Because we both have really shiny hair and heal leopards," Heidi says. "That's what the poor people with zits are called, right?" (Yeeeah!)

ï Katherine Heigl downblouse cleavage shot. By the by, why is the term downblouse? What an antiquated word. We don't say "upcrinoline". Though "crack above slacks" has a nice ring to it. (Egotastic!)

ï Anne Hathaway does not heed the rap world's advice to "stop snitchin'"; snitches. (Flisted)

ï Cameron Diaz is beginning to look a bit Wildensteinian. (Cityrag)

ï Eva Longoria gets plugged. Fireplugged, that is! (The Blemish)

ï Pharrell thinks tattoos and skin are like wallpaper. (FemaleFirst)

ï Lindsay Lohan and chick chum Samantha Ronson get cutesy together. (CelebWarship)

ï Zooey Deschanel is everyone's favorite. You there. Go. Look upon her in a swimsuit. (Don't Link This)

ï Bridget the Midget's nip slip proves that not ALL of her is tiny. (Taxi Driver)

ï Amy Winehouse hit a fan (and it felt like a kiss). (Allie Is Wired)

ï Eddie Murphy wants to retire from movies. Well, see ya. (Daily Stab)

Dick Fiends!

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 17:43:16 +0000

Do not deny Cameron Diaz her Jesus Goat, lest ye be labeled dick fiend. Lo, it is the law of the land. Take heed. Take heed. Today's tale of creative celebrity tantrumming comes courtesy of Digital Spy:

Cameron Diaz rowed with staff at an Abercrombie & Fitch store, say reports. The Charlie's Angels actress got angry when she was told that she couldn't purchase a specific T-shirt, which was the last of its kind in the shop.

According to the Daily Star, Diaz, 35, shrieked and stamped her feet in protest. When leaving, the actress allegedly called the staff "dick fiends".

The T-shirt apparently had the words "Jesus Goat" printed on the front.

"Dick fiends" is a good one! Were Cammy D ever to find herself out of the acting game, she could easily start her own company making up inventive new cussing for those who have depleted their swear cache. Her best clients could be Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, and Alec Baldwin would employ her to come over and whisper "Smegma nugget . . . rat clit . . . um . . . cooter tooter" whenever he called his daughter. Cam'll be the Cyrano de Bergerac of pottymouths!

See Cammy's naked mammy at MrSkin.com.

Cammy D Thinks Sex Is Pretty Neat

Agent E. — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:59:08 +0000

That Cameron Diaz, she's on the cutting edge. She's always saying stuff that just blows our mind, like, "Grass is green," "Kittens are cute," and "Sex is the best." Seriously, who does this girl think she is? It's going to take a lot more than a pretty face to make us question our core beliefs of grass is purple, kittens are hideous, and sex is torture. Maybe if Cameron were to tell us these things in person, while demonstrating just what makes sex the best, maybe that would convince us. People reports:

Nearly 18 months after her break-up with Justin Timberlake after they were together four years, Cameron Diaz is loving her view of the dating scene.

"Men are the best!" the What Happens in Vegas star, 35, tells InStyle for its June issue. "Sex is the best!"

And when it comes to seducing her men, Diaz says she prefers an outfit that accentuates her natural resources: a pair of heels and nothing else.

"You don't walk around naked?" she asks innocently.

Despite the April death of her father Emilio (the interview apparently took place before the sad event), Diaz ñ who once professed to thinking she'd be married and a mom by the time she was 22 ñ terms this a "good year," adding, "Yeah, I'm happy."

As for the prospective Mr. Right, "You don't want the men who want the 25-year-olds," she says with a laugh. "People think if you're single, you are incomplete. No. The thing is, I don't want to be in a relationship that makes me incomplete."

So Cameron really likes sex. You hear that, Justin? We bet Jessica Biel has never made such a bold statement. No, she's probably the "Hurry up, I've gotta walk the dog" type.

Cammy slips some mammy at MrSkin.com.

Cameron Diaz Is a Towering Cyborg of Legginess

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 17:55:49 +0000

As far as fetishizing body parts goes, it's been 1871 for a long time in America, with everyone salivating like a horny cartoon wolf over colossal asses. Only instead of crinolines and bustles, we have surgical butt cheeks implants. And so alas, the poor leg man of yore has fallen by the wayside. But here's some cheesecake for the gam lovers: it's Cameron Diaz, stomping in on her towering pegs! Watch in wonder as she splays her oiled-up pair for GQ UK! Cower before her! Quake with humility!

And then scratch your head after reading "right now, I'm not done cookin'" and wonder when Cameron Diaz turned into Matthew L-I-V-I-N McConaughey.

There's Cammy D to see at MrSkin.com.

CNW Junk Drawer: Eatin' Kids, Beatin' Pigs

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 17:33:17 +0000

ï Bite-sized Heroes star Hayden Panettiere volunteered at World Children's Day, where she proceeded to devour all the babies under age two and pick her teeth with their discarded, semi-gnawed rib bones. (The Blemish)

ï Even when you take away her hand-held communication devices and remove her from the vicinity of assistants, Naomi Campbell will come out swinging and hissing and–yes–spitting. (Yeeeah!)

ï Brandon Davis, alias "Greasy Bear", aka "Fat Elvis", is no longer anti-Firecrotch. He's decided he hates black people and gays way more. (TMZ)

ï Angelina Jolie at a nubile sixteen! Before the blood, the Brad, the Billy Bob, the babies there was . . . really unflattering 1990s bathing suits with curious sheer cut-outs? (Egotastic)

ï Mena Suvari's crapper is delectable in a thong. Do we mean "butt" or "toilet"? Click here to find out the shocking answer! (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Anne Hathaway's boyfriend was arrested for bouncing a $250,000 check. Aw, that could happen to anyone. Oh, wait, we though that said "$2.50 check". (Celeb Warship)

ï Who wears assless shorts? Gisele Bundchen wears assless shorts. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

ï I got fingered by Megan Fox (and it felt like a kiss). (Hollywood Tuna)

ï Lucky Kristen Bell gets to pose on the cover of Cosmopolitan next to the blurb "When Your Boobs Act Weird". (Daily Stab)

ï Jerry Seinfeld flipped his car. He's OK though, so we can all have a hearty guffaw or whatever. (Holy Taco)

ï Cameron Diaz is looking very Amazonian in GQ. (Bitten and Bound)

ï Tom Cruise takes Suri to the playground. Not to play, though. To have a series discussion about SPs and OC Clears. (A Socialite's Life)