CelebNewsWire» Bryan Adams Archives – CelebNewsWire

An Elle of a Hookup

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 17:45:05 +0000

Musical visionary. Philanthropist. Photographer. Raspy voice-haver. Canadian. Provider of shattered teacup upon which Lindsay Lohan sliced her speckled flesh. Is there anything Bryan Adams can't do? Apparently, the answer is no, because he has somehow landed himself one of the most storied beauties of our times as a concubine. According to the Daily Mail:

Supermodel Elle Macpherson and international rock star Bryan Adams are secretly dating.

The couple enjoyed a passionate kiss at a private party in Bryan's London home on Tuesday night after the launch of his new photo exhibition.

A source said: "They were all over each other, flirting outrageously and they couldn't keep their hands or eyes off each other."

Elle, nicknamed "The Body", and sexy Bryan make a fab couple but were trying to keep the relationship top secret – because it's very early days and they've been pals for ages before romance blossomed.

Men! Take note! All those expensive tooth-bleachings and Hummermobiles and Cyberphones aren't going to get you anywhere with the supermodel demographic. Take a clue from Mr. Adams and the ebony to his ivory, Seal. All it takes to win the hand of a blonde, statuesque, international swimsuit model is a song that tops the adult contemporary charts and a face full of scars. A melody about dew on roses and gnarled keloids, and the Victoria's Secret girls come buzzing like flies on BM.

Get a load of Elle's bells at MrSkin.com.

CNW Junk Drawer: Cuts Like a Knife

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 17:17:32 +0000

ï Paula Abdul has a new contorted face! Look into her stretched eyes! Oh oh! She's been tellin' lies! (Yeeeah!)

ï Larry Birkhead thinks Dannielynn has her mom's pouty lips, long legs and chubby toes. Jury's out on who she takes after in the implant and veneer department, though. (I'm Not Obsessed)

ï Britney stormed out of a photo shoot in a huff, never to return. Turns out they only had honey BBQ pretzel bites, not the buffalo ranch. (Daily Stab)

ï German magician attempts to make Pam Anderson's breast ooze its way out of her bathing suit. (Hollywood Tuna)

ï You know David Hasselhoff's ex-wife must be insanely f'ed up, because he got sole custody of the kids. Yaaaay, it's cheeseburger night! (Star Herpes)

ï An odd fashion choice, even for Ashley Olsen. Perhaps she has joined a harem and is planning on seducing the sheik with her mysterious, semi-sheer, snakelike undulations. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï How Jessica Simpson lost the ~~baby~~ Mayer weight. (IMDb.com)

ï Here are some surprisingly hot pictures of Lindsay Lohan taken by Bryan Adams. Because when you want to sex up your image, where else to turn than a pockmarked Canadian adult contemporary artist? It makes perfect sense. (Egotastic!)

Blah Blah Lohan Blah Blah Blah Hospital Blah

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 17:44:51 +0000

Lindsay Lohan took a trip to the hospital on Friday, for the eighty-eleventh time in a year. Seems she took a little spill over at Bryan Adams's house and gashed her leg on a broken teacup. When asked about the accident, Lindsay said, "It cut like a knife, but it felt so right."

In one of the more bizarre stories we've heard in 2006, Linds suffered a nasty cut whilst breakfasting with the man behind "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman". Her dirty, dirty mama Dina tells Star:

"She and her friends were preparing breakfast, with eggs and everything, and Lindsay was going up the stairs, carrying a ceramic teacup. She had just come out of the shower so she was still wet and had some lotion on, and she completely flipped on the stairs since it was slippery. The teacup went flying, it was shattered, and one of the pieces cut Lindsay in her shin. It was an accident."

Wonderful, but this raises more questions than it answers. Why in the name of Jesus was the hottest young actress in America over at Bryan Adams's place? Why were her friends with her? If Bryan invited them over to be friendly, why were they the ones cooking breakfast? And if they were just over for a social call, why the crap was Lindsay taking a shower there? There's something really goddamn fishy here. And we're gonna find out just what's going on, or our name isn't Encyclopedia Brown! (P.S. It totally isn't.)

Lohan's Nude Review is at MrSkin.com.

Summer of Socks-ty Nine

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 17 Dec 2004 16:50:38 +0000

If the continued music career of Posh Spice wasn't testament enough, here's more proof that Brits will work themselves into a frenzy over anything involving D-level celebrities: a pair of Bryan Adams's dirty socks went for £551 on eBay.

The foul garments were left in a hired car by the pock-marked Canuck himself before performing at a Children in Need performance in England last month. The black Armani socks were then auctioned by Bluestone Cars, who are donating the money to the Nightingale House Hospice in Wrexham.

Shocking fact: the sock auction (soction?) attracted 29 bids. That's TWENTY-NINE depraved, sick, sad little people who actually thought paying for a pair of Bryan Adams's socks was perfectly logical and even desirable. TWENTY-NINE. But what we really want to know: how can Bryan Adams afford Armani? I guess back royalties from "Cuts Like a Knife" garner a lot more money than we imagined.