Tag Archives: Brooke Shields
Brooke Shields Acts Like a Dick Around Leather Goods
Brooke Shields seems like an agreeable sort. She happily peddles toothpaste and mystical eyelash-growing juice on the television, has a big white smile, and cries while speaking reverently of that one time in 1982 when she was friends with Michael Jackson. So it comes as something of a surprise that she’s actually kind of an [...]
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Brooke Shields Defies Death in Harrowing Prop Plane/SUV Tragedy
You want to know what comes between Brooke Shields and Hearst Castle? A plane crash. Apparently, she and Jim Belushi were being flown to an event at the landmark when, according to TMZ:
The Cessna prop plane landed safely … but here’s the problem — the pilot forgot to set the parking brake after the plane [...]
Remember the Time
Good day to you. Today is July 8, 2009, and Michael Jackson is still dead, as you probably gathered from the huge creepy memorial that was broadcast yesterday. For some unknown reason, we ended up watching the entire thing, start to finish, and even live Tweeted it. If, 10 years ago, you had come to [...]
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Also tagged celebrity deaths, John Mayer, Lionel Richie, Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, Usher
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Brooke Shields's Kid: Gambling Prodigy
There are plenty of ways a family can experience wholesome family togetherness weekend fun. Petting zoo. Children’s museum. Water park. Disney movie marathon. But generally playing the ponies down at the track isn’t on that list. Sure, it sounds fancier when it involves Brooke Shields and mint juleps and stupid hats, but it’s still a [...]
Brooke Shields Wishes She'd Been Sluttier
Hey teenagers, Brooke Shields has some advice for you: Start humping now, lest you regret your prudishness later in life and say to yourself, "Man, I should have fucked more!" Brooke may have played a prepubescent prostitute in the flickers, but in reality she didn't give it up until she was 22. If she could [...]
Kiefer Hated that Target Capsule Collection as Much as the Rest of Us
As long as charming boozebag Kiefer Sutherland is in town, Hollywood maidens need not fear brutish fashion designers besmirching their honor. Monday night, while at an afterparty for the Met Costume Gala, a kerfuffle went down involving a fashion designer, Brooke Shields, and a goat-like butt to the head. Hit us with the story, TMZ:
It [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: "Like Women Everywhere"
ï Is Australian actress Abbie Cornish the real reason behind the Reese/Ryan breakup? That would mark the second time Ryan's fallen for a blonde with an incredibly silly last name. At least he's consistent.
ï Sumner Redstone says that he dropped Tom Cruise's contract because his wife, Paula, "like women everywhere, had come to [...]
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Also tagged Abbie Cornish, celebrity breakups, celebrity catfights, celebrity hookups, celebs posing for Playboy, Cindy Margolis, Halloween costumes, Heidi Klum, Ivanka Trump, Katie Holmes, Lindsay Lohan, Patrick Dempsey, Reese Witherspoon, Ryan Phillippe, Tom Cruise, Topher Grace
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The Infant Has Landed
Sometime yesterday, after we left work, a teeny flying saucer from the planet Cuckoobananabeans alit on Katie Holmes's prosthetic baby bump. The trapdoor soundlessly slid open, deposited a human girl child, and buzzed back up into the stratosphere. The human girl child's new Earth guardians toasted their new arrival over a light dinner of seared [...]
Brooke Shields: Suddenly Preggo
Brooke Shields has announced that she's pregnant with her second child. Meanwhile, in a bid to save her from the glib, harmful world of pharmeceuticals, Tom Cruise is presently making her an emergency post-partum depression kit full of pilates DVDs and Flintstones Chewables.