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Tag Archives: Brody Jenner

08 October 2009

CNW Junk Drawer: “I Still Love Her, But She’s Retarded”

Nicole Kidman. Touch her and she will not flinch. Cut her and she will not bleed. She is Terminator Barbie. Botox syringe sold separately. (D-listed)
Tila Tequila threatens suicide. On Twitter, so you know she means business. (Yeeeah!)
Guy Ritchie says Madonna is “retarded”. You forgot “dummy” and “dipstick” and “diarrhea breath”, Guy. (Us Weekly)
Mischa Barton fears [...]

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28 August 2009

Joe Francis Goes Wild on Girl, or, Don’t Tase Me Bro(dy)

If you were at the Los Angeles club Guys and Dolls last night, no doubt you were driven from the premises because of a strong stench of vinegar and spring freshness. That’s because king douches Joe Francis and Brody Jenner got into a fistfight after Francis boxed the ears of Jenner’s girlfriend Jayde Nicole. TMZ [...]

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21 February 2007

CNW Junk Drawer: "Never Killed a Pot Head"

ï Stallone steroid scandal. Stallone steroid scandal. Stallone steroid scandal. Say it five times fast.
ï Tyra Banks recreates her iconic swimsuit issue cover shot. Too bad her face looks like she's dropping a log in her bikini bottoms.
ï Gretchen Carlson finally lends credibility to FOX News with a liberal view of her [...]

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20 February 2007

Brody Jenner Nabs Second Place to Howard K. Stern in Ultimate Asshole Showdown

We don't usually enjoy giving publicity to lazy rich assholes who have no claim to fame other than where they've stuck their dicks. Yet we do it anyway. Just look at how many times we've mentioned Howard K. Stern. If a scary sci-fi future where everyone is dying of starvation is ever realized, he's the [...]

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01 February 2007

Lohan Will Never Detox from Burgers and Banging

Lindsay Lohan is reaching out–to a rather unlikely person, Brody Jenner–from behind the inpenetrable fortress that is the Wonderland rehab facility. Most of its denizens probably crave crack or Tanqueray, but Lindsay's rehab cravings, transmitted via text message, are for "McDonald's and sex", in that order. Unless, of course, she hastily sent the message without [...]

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19 October 2006

Bathrooms: For More Than Just Coke Fixes

Nicole Richie is quite fond of bathroom quickies. Enh. That's not very special. Call us when she's found naked in a Camero with two girls, a goat, and twenty pounds of salami. Celebrities just have no imagination these days.

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05 October 2006

People You Don't Care About Are No Longer Porking

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have broken up. And so have Nicole Richie and that one guy. He's like the son of some famous guy who, like, did the luge or synchronized swimming at the Olympics or something. He dated that girl from that show that's like The O.C. only "real"? C'mon, he's tall, has [...]

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