You made it this far, so obviously you love disgusting pictures of celebrities kissing. Good news! We have a whole gallery of gross kissing pics on Facebook!

10. Lindsay Lohan
Yes, this looks like crap, but she’ll let it go back to normal someday. Hopefully. Lindsay’s flirted with fillers before. She’s also flirted with a parking meter before, but cocaine’s a hell of a drug, you know?

9. Jessica Simpson
Jessica had a brief dalliance with Restylane in 2006, but later said, “It looked fake to me. I didn’t like that. It went away in, like, four months. My lips are back to what they were. Thank God!” Too bad she can’t say the same of her career. Oooh, burnnnn.

8. Brittany Murphy
Like Lilo and J-Simp before her, Brittany let her mouth go back to its natural proportions. But in early 2006, the only people who had comparably overhanging upper lips were the Simpsons.

7. Lara Flynn Boyle
That’s awesome that her last name is Boyle because those thingies look two festering boils just begging for you to lance them and release their pustulous bounty.

6. Melanie Griffith
It’s no secret that Revlon chose her as a spokesmodel because when it comes to selling lipstick, you can’t beat a huge canvas upon which to paint. That’s just, like, advertising 101.

5. Meg Ryan
She was America’s sweetheart. Now she’s America’s grouper. Not a bad deal.

4. Donatella Versace
Time has not been kind to Janice from the Muppets. Life on the road with the Electric Mayhem is a hard life. After Dr. Teeth succumbed to a meth habit and Zoot joined the Children of God cult, it was all downhill.

3. Nikki Cox
Yeah, we don’t even know what the hell is going on here.

2. Priscilla Presley
Perhaps she missed her late husband so much that she wanted her mouth to forever imitate his signature lip curl.

1. Lisa Rinna
Excuse me ma’am but there is a prolapsed butthole on your face. Let me get that for you.

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BRITTANY Murphy is driving the crew on her new movie crazy. Her behavior on the LA set of Across the Hall has gotten increasingly bizarre, according to spies. Murphy has been making outrageous demands while acting "like a diva," said one insider. "She's extremely difficult. When she gets to the set, it comes to a grinding halt. She's so hot and cold, you never know." According to our sources, Murphy insists on having diagonally cut peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with the crusts removed. "She needs one every hour. It's painstaking ó her assistant takes about a half an hour making each one," said one crew member. Another issue is Murphy's ever-present oddball husband, Simon Monjack, who lurks around the set and intervenes so much that producers had to call a meeting to discuss how to deal with him. Murphy's rep could not be reached for comment.

Maybe we just have low standards, but we think that Brittany Murphy's assistant has the best job ever. If our main chore each hour was to slather peanut butter and jelly on some Wonder Bread, painstakingly spreading to ensure maximum coverage, and trim off the edges just so, we think we could handle it. It would surely be better than being Prince's personal assistant. He'd probably wake you up in the middle of the night and ask you to build a diorama of the original civilization of Constantinople by daybreak using only monkey feces and used tissues that were discarded by Queen Elizabeth. A couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches look pretty damn reasonable in comparison.

ï Lindsay says that rehab was a "sobering experience". You don't say. (IDLYITW)

ï Tara Reid in FHM looking . . . good? Oh, look, a flying pig. (Hollywood Tuna)

ï Charlize Theron is Esquire's Sexiest woman. Which is a nicer honor than being Esquire's Stinkiest Belly Button. Yeah, we're still bitter, Esquire. Screw you jerks. (Egotastic!)

ï Halle's berries are ripe for the fuckin'. Pluckin'! Pluckin'. (Derek Hail)

ï Kiefer Sutherland is going to jail. God, he is always trying to ape Paris's steez, man. Always. (The Blemish)

ï Man of God proves that Clay Aiken is not gay! By twiddling wieners with him. Or writing a funny letter. Which one is truth and which one is a joke? Find out on the next scintillating installment of . . . Gayken! (Celebitchy)

ï Everybody on earth knows that J. Lo's packin' mad embryo. (CelebWarship)

Is someone trying to harm Brittany Murphy?

A source who used to work for the perky star says she talks darkly of "a high-powered Hollywood player" who is allegedly stalking her.

And when her then-boyfriend, Simon Monjack, disappeared for 10 days in April, Murphy claimed he had been kidnapped by agents of this mysterious figure, says the source.

"When he came back, he had head injuries," says the former insider. "He was pale and sometimes had trouble standing."

Not only that, but the former staffer also claims Murphy said she was unable to pay him because the money had been used for ransom.

However, the alleged kidnapping seems to exactly coincide with the dates reported by The National Enquirer that Monjack, a British citizen, was jailed by U.S. immigration authorities for overstaying his visa.

Monjack, a screenwriter, is not short of enemies. Several anonymous sources have posted unflattering stories on the Internet about his past relationships. On June 13, a man identifying himself as Arturo Globenfeldt posted a message on Monjack's Imdb.com page claiming he owes him $16 million in film investment money. Globenfeldt, whose blog indicates he is in Portugal, did not immediately respond to an e-mail.

A rep for Murphy also did not respond to a request for comment.

Arturo Globenfeldt. Arturo Globenfeldt. Globenfeldt. We think that name may get more play in our private thoughts than Blake Fielder-Civil. Anyway, what do you want to bet that when Monjack was hauled off to prison his one phone call was to a guy named Moose or Paulie or some such to set up a fake kidnapping plot? Because as any good thieving boyfriend would know, those Uptown Girls residuals are better spent on clandestine trips to Vegas than on buckets and buckets full of glittery makeup.

ï Fun with Photoshop: "Stuff on My Lohan". Hee hee hee hee hee! (Cityrag)

ï Hollywood romance meets the Primetime weekend mystery: Brittany Murphy has awesome taste in men! (ICYDK)

ï Claire Danes and My So-Called Nip. (Taxi Driver)

ï Anna Kournikova and Enrique Iglesias have broken up. It was all downhill after he chopped the Raisinette off his face. (Hollywood Tuna) UPDATE: They're still together, choco-krispie or no.

ï Eva Mendes admits that she had a swig or two of booze to calm her nerves before shooting a sex scene opposite Joaquin Phoenix. As a recovering alcoholic, he surely found the taste of Beam on the breath an intoxicating impetus to make the scene that much more authentically passionate. Man, was that too mean? (Derek Hail)

ï Lindsay's dad offers up some Christian advice whilst wearing a tank top. (GlossLip)

ï When you're faced with a daunting jail sentence after violating parole following a DUI, how to lift your spirits? Build-A-Bear Workshop, girlfriend! (Celebrity Puke)

ï My Gwen Stefani doll can beat up your Peaches N' Cream Barbie.

ï Still no word on whether or not Lohan is engaged to Harry "Pink Taco" Morton, but she's sporting an '80s-style pear-cut diamond that Alexis Carrington herself would find distasteful.

ï Kelly Clarkson was embarrassed to learn that she owned the same pink convertible as a porn star. The fact that she actually owns a pink convertible is much more embarrassing, however.

ï Brittany Murphy exits club, gets propositioned for some tuna taco tangoing, signs autographs, lets us look down her shirt. Now that's multitasking.

ï Eva Mendes's bare ass in Flaunt magazine. You heard us. That's right. Believe it. Flaunt magazine! Seriously!

ï Kate Bosworth and Orlando Bloom broke up. Again. If a walking Chupa Chups lollipop and a crustachioed eunuch can't make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?

ï An idea we wish we'd thought of: Gossip Blog Wars.

ï Kate Moss + underwear = server crash. Way to get your kit off, bird! Pip pip! Tut tut! Tally ho! Cheerio!

ï "Kevin Federline mauled by rap community." God, if only that headline were literal.

ï Janet Jackson says that fiancÈ Jermaine Dupri sexually takes her to places she's never been before. Oh, like the Ewok Village? Get it? Cuz he's short.

ï Proving you can never have too much of a good thing: even more pictures of the expansive side of Lindsay Lohan's enormous, speckled breast.

ï And Lindsay's dad is quite the little Jim Davis, taking pen to paper and cartooning the demons pulling his daughter from his fatherly embrace. Impressive, but we would have drawn Lindsay crying "ACK!" and holding a bikini on a hanger to illustrate her body-image issues.

ï A devious, scrawny mammal that steals sneakily, and Kevin Federline. One and the same, friends, but which one has more facial hair?

ï Britney angrily refused to allow Jessica Simpson to kiss her pregnant belly, which is the first smart thing Britney's done, child-rearing-wise. Perhaps she didn't want to risk having her fetus get poisoned by toxic, cupcake-scented plumping gloss.

ï Beyonce and Jay-Z are planning a $3 million wedding. Bet the courtesy gift bag will be fabulous!

ï Jessica Simpson is now hawking hairpieces. What is she, a Mandrell?