Tag Archives: Britney Spears
Britney Spears’s Kids Have a Vast Vocabulary
If we were to tell you that Britney Spears’s kids regularly found a little bit of whiskey in their bottles or toddered around in the same poopy diapers for three days straight or took a few little puffs off of Daddy’s “happy cigarettes” now and then, you probably wouldn’t be surprised. So you also won’t [...]
Britney Is Hot Again; Kevin Is Still Fat
Here’s the thing, see. Kevin Federline is famous because he married Britney Spears. Without her he’d be begging for a job as a dishwasher at Perkins. But what happens after they split? She starts putting on some pounds and her whole life is basically ruined. Then he puts on way, way more pounds and he’s [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Botox Not Nice for Weisz
Jenna Fischer is engaged. And not to you. Suckerrrrr. (Fatback)
Rachel Weisz wants a Botox ban for actors. Easy for you to say, Miss Prettyface Pretty of Prettytown. What about the rest of us Buseys? (Amy Grindhouse)
Large-eared, fame-starved dermatologist Arnold Klein says he didn’t father Michael Jackson’s kids. Maybe. Probably not. Not to [...]
Britney Spears Just Now Realizing KFed Is Fat Loser
For too long we've been thinking of Britney Spears as a sad little Rapunzel, locked away on her tour bus, her daddy only letting her out to rake in fat wads of cash on tour dates. And that's kind of depressing. Daddy probably takes away all of her junk food too, so that when she's [...]
Britney Spears, Time Traveling Movie Stahhhh
We love love love fake stories about the movies and TV shows celebrities are supposedly set to star in that will never ever happen. Paris Hilton to portray Mother Teresa. Britney Spears to star in a remake of Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Paris, Britney, and Lindsay Lohan to appear together in an ultra-hilarious HBO sitcom. [...]
Britney Spears Forgets She's Famous
We're celebrating today. Why, you ask? Did our labradoodle just get accepted into the Westminster dog show? Did we finally get that restraining order dropped? Nope. Megan Fox didn't make a single headline today. Yay! How will we mark this momentous occasion? By returning to the OG queen of overexposure (in every sense of the [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Heidi Montag Twatt
You WILL see Heidi Montag nude in Playboy. Just what you always wanted! (Yeeeah!)
Hands off the Brad Pitt. Do not touch the Brad Pitt. That means you, Ann Curry. (Anything Hollywood)
When Megan Fox gets a manicure, she actually gets a pedicure. Get it? No? Click on the link then, Einstein. (The Blemish)
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Gimme More, Indeed
Picture it. October 2007. Pope Benedict is sworn in as the head God dude. South Africa wins the rugby World Cup. Mac OS X Leopard is launched. And the whole world fell in love with a little song called "Gimme More" by a woman named Britney Spears, who at that time was mostly known as [...]
OK, So the Britlings are Adorable
We're mean and cruel and sarcastic and our hearts are made out of dirty tar that hardened around the glass from a broken Mad Dog 20/20 bottle, but sometimes in this crazy world, something happens to warm our cockles. This morning, that something is this video of Britney Spears's kids, Sean P and Jayden, going [...]
Britney Spears Redecorates the Couture
Remember that scene in Carrie where Sissy Spacek gets her menses and all the girls in the locker room pelt her with feminine sanitary products and chant "plug it up, plug it up!"? Well, honestly, someone needs to do that to Britney Spears. First, she appeared in public doing the upskirt thing plus blood minus [...]