Tag Archives: Britney Spears
CNW Junk Drawer: They Tried to Make Me Go to Silicone Rehab
Amy Winehouse has traded needles in the arm for needles in the boobs and lips. (The Blemish)
Rachel Bilson sports Gwyneth Paltrow-style greaseball legs in Flaunt. (Yeeeah!)
James Gandolfini assaulted a paparazzo. Sadly, he later found out that the photog was not, in fact, carrying any nachos on him so it was all for naught. (Anything Hollywood)
Strap [...]
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Also tagged Amy Winehouse, celebrity catfights, Celebrity Sex Tapes, Chris Martin, Gwyneth Paltrow, James Gandolfini, Janine Lindemulder, Kate Bosworth, Kelly Brook, Lindsay Lohan, magazines, Michael Lohan, plastic surgery rumors, plays, Rachel Bilson, Sandra Bullock, Shauna Sand, Suri Cruise
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We’re Surprised His Semen Isn’t Pure Lard By Now
If you place Kevin Federline’s semen on a slide and peer at it through a microscope, you will see the mustachioed strongman from the circus, Batman, Captain “Sully” Sullenberger, Juggernaut from the X-Men, and the ‘85 Bears. His seed will not be stopped. He has two children with Shar Jackson, two with Britney Spears, and [...]
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Also tagged boobs, celebrity pregnancies, Kevin Federline, see-through shots
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Britney Spears, Motherhood’s Pinnacle
You fear for humanity every time you walk down the Wal-Mart frozen foods aisle and see a 300-pound woman in an “I’m Too Sexy for This Shirt” tee smacking around her kid and yelling, “Get Mama some Hot Pockets, shithead.” But apparently that’s just good parenting, at least according to Britney Spears’s British fans. Says [...]
Britney Spears Blows a Wad on Stuff to Suck on
You remember that one time you were really depressed and needed chocolate so you went to the Jewel and bought their entire stock of Three Muskateers? It must’ve cost you like 70 bucks. You thought you were going totally over the top on that one. But really, deep in your heart, you knew there was [...]
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Megan Fox: Britney Spears Records Are Better Than Death
Humans have been striving for immortality for centuries, so it’s kind of weird that the key to staying alive has finally come to us from the pretty much vacant mind of Megan Fox. What’s the secret to never-ending life? Just listen to Britney Spears all the time. The universe wouldn’t be so cruel as to [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Minka Jeter. Minka Jeter. Minka Jeter.
Derek Jeter makes 500 trillion dollars a year and now he’s going to marry Minka Kelly. And you guys don’t want Socialism? (Yeeeah!)
Jennifer Aniston nips out for Elle. Fashionably sharp, old girl. (CityRag)
Even Anderson Cooper can’t hide the vitriol when it comes to indulging Heidi Montag’s poppycockery. (Gone Hollywood)
Gerard Butler slapped a dog. And he [...]
President Spears
Britney Spears made a special surprise appearance on Letterman last night. She did the top 10 (”Ways the Country Would Be Different If Britney Spears Were President”). This would be an exciting story if anyone watched David Letterman. And if anyone looked forward to his top 10 lists so they could discuss them in Chem [...]
Ignore the Weave; Britney Looks Hot
Was there a sale at the Container Store this weekend that we missed? Because we’re pretty sure that every celebrity in the world stayed home and rearranged their closets. Every celeb except Britney Spears, that is. She was covorting (yes, covorting) around Marina Del Ray in a couple of bikinis. Luckily she didn’t wear them [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Tumbleweaves
That’s Britney’s weave, not the back of Dog the Bounty Hunter’s head, FYI.
John Edwards, you are the father. (Celebitchy)
Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhart are back together. Their hearts are held together by love. And their groins are forever linked by the human papilloma virus. (Fatback)
Channing Tatum was a stripper. A stripper who grinded (ground?) to [...]
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Also tagged celebrity hookups, celebrity pregnancies, Channing Tatum, Doug Reinhart, John Edwards, Kat Von D, Kendra Wilkinson, Paris Hilton, Pink, politicians
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Britney Spears’s Kids Have a Vast Vocabulary
If we were to tell you that Britney Spears’s kids regularly found a little bit of whiskey in their bottles or toddered around in the same poopy diapers for three days straight or took a few little puffs off of Daddy’s “happy cigarettes” now and then, you probably wouldn’t be surprised. So you also won’t [...]